


If You Don't Love Me, Don't Tell Me

by orphan_account



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drug Use, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:40:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 44,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11613264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Even's two sided personality is what drives Isak's hatred towards him. An asshole frat boy at night while he parties, then a top student by day who charms everyone with his bright smile. Except, Isak doesn't believe that Even has any good intentions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this au was inspired by the prompt [here](https://twitter.com/evaesheim/status/885614961824854016) (ty for the inspiration, motivation, and idea to pursue this fic!!)
> 
> as always you can find me [here.](https://twitter.com/lotusjonas)
> 
> thank you charlotte for yet again, helping me out with this fic and being along for every idea i come up with and supporting me on that.
> 
> title comes from the song silk by wolf alice.
> 
> updates will depend on when i have time to write, but the outline for each chapter is already completed so it shouldn't take very long.
> 
> i hope i do this fic the justice it deserves. nice comments are always appreciated and kudos as well.

College is something most people love with all of their heart, or hate with a burning passion. Some are meant for it while others don’t even consider. Whether you’re rich or poor it’s a necessity for some. Even the ones determined to spend all their time in a school, they end up partying till they drop. That’s what college is known for, aside from learning. 

When Isak got to college, he wanted to focus on work, he really did, but when you get friends? That plan can go downhill. Fast. He knew to never get too hammered now that he wasn’t sixteen with not a care in the world. He was legal to do whatever he wanted but college was a tedious thing. He met older students through parties, which seemed to be its only benefit. Besides the partying, of course.

To get into certain parties, you needed a way in. Most of them were hosted by fraternities or sororities rather than a dormitory. They were always open to anyone in the school, but they have some limit to who comes in. If they didn't, the fraternity probably would've been shut down by now. Even at the party Isak’s at, whether there was really a limit, he couldn’t tell.

Isak looks around as his friends talk amongst themselves. The sobriety can't be found in any other person at the party. No one looks like their heads are on straight.

The fraternity itself was known for these types of parties. Drink till you drop, do every drug there, and fuck whoever finds you attractive. No one cared enough to see it during the day. It’s reputation being too high already for anyone to see it differently. Anyone in the frat could simply walk across the courtyard and everyone would cheer them on. That’s just how Alpha Chi Phi worked.

His face scrunched up when he looked behind himself. The group sitting on the couch was recognizable to anyone: the fraternity boy themselves. A few of the guys were taking down their beers as others took hits of something. Isak, in all honesty, hated them. Just because they host great parties doesn’t mean shit. If you're a dick, you’re a dick. Most frat guys were, anyway. 

“Hey!” Eva smiled warmly.

Isak whipped his head back around. Eva pressed a kiss to Jonas’ cheek. “Hey,” Isak smiled and gave her a hug.

Jonas kept a hand on her back and smiled, “No creeps, right?”

Eva laughed, “No creeps.”

“What about creeps?” Vilde asked, skipping over to her side. 

He felt Mahdi nudge him and Isak had to bite his tongue when Magnus’ face blushed red. 

“Making sure you guys are okay is all.” Jonas explained.

“Hey, Vilde.” Magnus smiled at her. Mahdi put his face into his cup to hide his oncoming laughing.

Vilde smiled sweetly, “Hi, Magnus.” Eva looked down at her with a look but shook her head softly.

“Where’s the rest of the girls?” Isak asked. Usually, they were together at parties like this, and Isak loved them more than anything. He’d never admit that to the boys, though.

“They had to go early. Have an exam tomorrow, I guess.” Eva shrugged. She leaned over and took Jonas’ drink, “Who got you in?”

“Julian.”

Vilde made a face, “Really? How’d you convince him?”

Eva laughed, “Yeah, you should've gone to someone easier.”

Jonas raised his eyebrows and on cue Mahdi and Magnus did as well. Isak raises his hands and lets them fall to the table dramatically. 

“Julian has this weird ass crush on Isak, so,” Magnus smirked, “Had him flirt his way.”

Isak put his face in his hands, “I did it for you guys!”

Eva laughed, “What if he won’t leave you alone after this?”

Isak groaned, “God, I hate you guys so much.”

Mahdi rubbed his shoulder, “But we got in and we haven’t seen Julian at all, so you’re safe.”

Isak shook his head and stared down at the cup in his hand. He swirled it around and watched the contents spin; the conversation fading from his ears. He almost drops it as he jumps when reality breaks through. The guys jumped out of their seats. Isak looked over and his eyes widened and then anger overflowed him.

One of the frat guys had come over to Vilde right in front of them. And as Isak expected: acted like a total cocky asshole. The rest of the guys were behind their friend but weren't arguing with anyone. They looked ready either way but seemed to not give two shits. Isak finally stood up as well and kept to the back.

Magnus pushed at the guy, “Learn to back the fuck off, asshole!”

“Then don't bring your girlfriend to a fucking frat party!”

Isak's blood began to boil at the words. Jonas must’ve felt the same way because he stepped ahead of Magnus. 

He pointed a finger, “That shouldn't even be a fucking problem!”

“Yeah, the fuck!?” Magnus chimed in. “Don’t touch random fucking girls!”

Just when Isak thought they all were gonna have to take it outside, one of the frat guys stepped up. “Hey, hey, let’s just relax, okay?” he put a hand between his friend and Isak’s friends, “Just get out now. No need to have a full blown fight. Don’t want to see that in here.”

And somehow that pissed Isak off more. Being friends with total dicks and then trying to play the saint. Why not treat everyone like the rest? He took a good look at the guy, and of course. The typical tall, smoking hot college guy. Isak wanted to punch him just for that.

Jonas scoffed, “Fuck you guys.” He grabbed Eva’s hand and stormed out with her right behind him. Vilde grabbed onto Magnus’ arm and he smiled as he followed them out.

Mahdi grabbed his and Isak’s jackets. “C’mon,” He shoved it into Isak’s arm and as he turned around didn’t say a word to the guys. Just gave them a thousand word look and ran out after the rest. Isak didn't look at them, he just followed Mahdi without question. He was angry, sure, but he didn't need to start by saying something stupid.

“That’s what we get when we go to frat parties!” Mahdi rolled his eyes.

Eva sighed, “It was one guy.”

“Yeah, doesn’t mean he’s any less of an asshole! It’s his damn fraternity!” Jonas gestured wildly with his hands. “If it wasn't someone in the fraternity, it wouldn't matter!”

Magnus rubbed Vilde’s shoulder as he spoke, “Just because they're in the frat doesn’t mean they can do whatever the hell they want. I know it's their party, but c’mon.”

Isak rolled his eyes, “None of them have respect.” he laughed. “Everyone knows that. Why do you think no one cares about anything besides the partying.” 

Jonas gestured to Isak, keeping his eyes on Eva, “Exactly! I tried to make sure we avoided anyone the entire night.”

Eva raised an eyebrow, “Why bring me like he said?”

Jonas stopped in his tracks, “Eva, are you kidding me?”

“They probably won't remember you tomorrow anyway,” she defends. “They all looked like they were on ten different drugs and drunk out of their minds.”

Isak looked at Jonas in disbelief, “That doesn't make shit okay!”

Eva rolled her eyes, “I know, I’m just saying!” 

They continued to walk and Vilde spoke, “The one guy seemed cool.”

They all knew who she was talking about already.

“You mean Mr. Saves-the-Day?” Isak chuckled. 

Mahdi laughed, “You can't just jump in and try to do that shit when you let it happen.”

“Just looking at him pissed me off.” Jonas threw in. Isak smirked.

“Who was he anyway?” Magnus asked.

“The guy who owns the frat,” Mahdi said, tugging on his jacket. “Leader or whatever. I only know that because one: needed to to get in, and two: most of the girls at this school wanna drop to their knees in seconds for him.”

Jonas belted a laugh, “How?”

“Cause he’s hot, I don’t know. The fuck you want me to say?” Mahdi laughed.

Vilde frowned, “Do you think they’ll let us go to another party?”

Magnus made a disgusted face, “Why would you want to after that?”

“There’s no other good parties!”

Isak folded his arms, “It was decent at best.”

Vilde scoffed, “It was good besides what happened!”

“I don't wanna see any of those guys ever again, that’s for sure.” Jonas turned around and pointed to Vilde.

Vilde sighed, “I guess.”

They dropped the girls off at their dorms and headed over to their own. Isak’s dorm mate just happened to be Magnus. That’s really why they’re friends in the first place. Jonas and Mahdi live across from them and well, here they are. All met the first day of school. Everyone was greeting one another and they decided neighbors should be known to each other. Magnus and Isak were friends with everyone in the hall, but Jonas and Mahdi stuck better.

Isak threw himself onto the cold, hard mattress and sighed. He smiled and turned his head to look at Magnus. “So, Vilde?”

Magnus smiled back, “I think I got her now.”

Isak laughed, “Defending her against the older guys,” he sat up. “Such a hero, Mags.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Magnus shook his head, “If someone defended you like that you’d swoon, too!”

Isak held his hands up. “Alright, alright,” he grinned. “Were you even paying attention to those dicks or were you dying over her the entire time?”

Magnus pursed his lips. He snapped his fingers towards Isak, “Both.” he smiled.

“He called her your girlfriend.”

“We’re gonna keep him thinking that way,” Magnus winked.

Isak rolled his eyes and slipped off all his evening clothes and into his pajamas. Magnus was at the desk that stood between their two beds. Writing on paper with his computer open. Isak sat cross legged on the bed and watched him.

“You’re doing an assignment right after a party. That’s how you _know_ it sucked.”

Magnus looked over, “We tried to get hammered.” He pointed his pen in Isak’s direction.

Isak shrugged, “I know.”

\-----

Isak walked across the courtyard to his class. He had a headache from not getting enough sleep and he wanted nothing more than to go back and crash. He walked into the main building and as he turned almost slammed into someone.

“Oh, shit. Sorry,” The guy said, apologetically.

“Don’t worry it’s-” Isak’s sentence stopped when he realized who it was. Of course. He frowned as he looked at the guy who owns the fraternity from last night. Mr. Saves-the-Day.

The guy looked at Isak strangely, “Well, okay then.” He slipped past Isak and went out of the building.

Isak looked back and then forward. He didn’t even realize how hard he was clenching onto the computer in his hands. He shook his head and kept walking. Just in time he made it in and walked down the steps to his seat.

“What’s up with you?” Chris asked. She adjusted her hair, a bobby pin between her teeth.

Isak sighed, “People.”

She nodded and did one final adjustment. “What’d people do now?”

“Frat boys, Chris,” he shook his head. “They’re just shitty.”

“Did you sleep with one or something?”

Isak’s face scrunched up, “No?”

“Sorry, that’s just what I usually expect from the words,” she puts her hands up and created air quotes. “‘Frat boy.’”

Isak rolled his eyes, “One hit on Vilde in front of us in the worst way possible. Magnus went off, the guy got defensive so of course we defended Magnus,” he took a deep breath. “One of them tried to play the hero and I saw him on the way here. Just made my skin itch.”

Chris raised an eyebrow, “What’d he do though?”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t seem like he did much.”

Isak frowned, “He let his friends do whatever they wanted when it was gross and wrong.”

“Who?” Sana sat down and leaned forward to look at Chris as well. 

“Frat boys,” Chris informed. Sana’s mouth formed into an ‘oh’ expression and she didn’t ask more. Just opened her computer and got her notes ready. “Just ignore them. You won’t see them again, anyway.”

Isak nodded, clearing his throat, “You’re right. I'm caring too much.” Chris smiled and she pat him on the back.

Their teacher entered the classroom, causing the trio to turn towards the front of the classroom, and begin class.

\-----

What Chris said ended up being total bullshit. They’d go to other parties for sororities or other fraternities and yet they’d still manage to run into the same people. The group didn’t forget them but the frat boys seemed to not even notice them. Or they chose not to notice them.

The guys didn’t care anymore, just cared if they’d get jumped. If they saw the frat boys they’d acknowledge them for sure. But they wouldn’t get pissed like Isak did. Isak didn’t know why he was still angry with them. Maybe it was the fact they all were popular, ass-kissed, attractive guys that got whatever because of those facts.

How one of them thought they could just touch Vilde without question. It made Isak’s blood boil. But what bugged him the most was how the leader of the fraternity somehow always managed to find Isak. Every party, Isak would see him, and that’d piss him off even more. When they ran into each other at school, he acted like nothing happened. 

He didn’t have an exact, able to pinpoint, reason why he hated the guy. Other than the same traits as the others. Just the way he walked around sparked something in Isak that told him to be angry. Girls constantly looking at him like his entire being was crafted by a Greek god. And he almost acted like he was too. 

It wasn’t jealousy - Isak knew that much. 

Since their fraternity didn’t seem to care for his friends anymore, they assumed it’d be safe enough to go to one of their parties again. It was just like the last one the fraternity hosted. The only difference was the that they didn't need Julian to get in. They ran into one of the guys but they just pushed past, making the weight on everyone’s shoulders disappear officially.

The girls didn’t come this time. It was more like they didn’t know they were going in the first place. Isak felt bad, really. He didn’t want to keep it from any of them but he knew the intention when Mahdi brought it up.

Isak has Magnus pressed to his side and Jonas’s leg across his lap. Mahdi was on the table in front of them, a bong situated perfectly on his lap. 

“How could he get that slammed so fast?” Mahdi laughed, having to raise his voice over the music and other people.

Isak looked down at Magnus and slapped his face lightly. Magnus stirred and shot up, “The hell man?”

Isak smirked, “Don’t get wasted so fast, you know that.”

Jonas pointed a finger, his voice strained from leaning up from the couch, “Weed before beer, you're clear.”

Magnus rubbed a hand over his face, “And beer before grass you’re on your ass, yeah, I know.”

Mahdi looked around for a lighter, “And yet you did it anyway.”

“You shouldn’t smoke,” Isak said. “We don’t wanna be responsible for you throwing up on the frat that already hates us’ couch.”

Mahdi took a hit and expelled the smoke after a brief moment. “I’m sure there are people vomiting everywhere.” He passed it over to Jonas.

“They don’t hate us,” Jonas waved a hand and reached for the lighter with the same one. He adjusted himself and sat up. “Obviously, they got over it or we wouldn't be on this couch.”

Isak leaned back into the couch, “I guess.” Once Jonas finished he gently handed it over to Isak. He gave it to Magnus instead and Mahdi made a face.

“Thought you didn’t want him to smoke?”

“He was gonna do it anyway, and I just don’t feel like it.”

Magnus smiled, “Thanks, man.” 

Jonas and Mahdi watched him with wide eyes. They wouldn’t even let Magnus hold it sober unless he had a shit ton of pillows covering the floor. The bong was glass, of all things. Isak didn’t know why anyone would keep a glass one out at a party. It was bound for disaster.

“Be right back,” Isak stood up and stepped over Jonas’ feet into the crowd. 

He tries to find the bathroom going through the large house. Having to literally shove past people to get where he needs to go. He doesn’t bother looking around, just keeps walking and moving as fast as he can.

“Whoa, hey!” someone calls over the music and grabs onto his wrist.

Isak flinches and pulls his hand out of the grip immediately. He looks and his face contorts into a snarl. “Jesus, I can’t get rid of you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Isak folds his arms, “Ever since that one party, I can’t go anywhere without seeing you.”

“Hey,” the guy raised his arms outward, “It’s my frat.” He smirked lazily.

Isak smirks passive aggressively, “And I keep getting let in.”

He leans forward, “Maybe there’s a reason.” He chuckles.

“And you’re wasted, so I’m gonna go now.” Isak rolls his eyes and turns on his feet but the guy grabs him again. 

He smirks alluringly, “Not that wasted.”

“You smell like shit, too.”

He laughs, and Isak almost hates himself for not thinking it’s the most annoying sound in the world. He hates himself for thinking the guy actually looks good tonight. 

“And you smell wonderful.”

Isak frowned, “Great one, really. You’re making me buckle at the knees.”

He bows slightly, “I try.” He stands up straighter. “I’m Even,” it came out more slurred than he intended.

Isak nods, “Isak.” He keeps his arms close to himself and Even frowns at how annoyed he must look.

“Where're your friends?” he looked around.

Isak points over his shoulder, “Getting high and watching the drunk one.”

Even purses his lips and narrowed his eyes, “They’re just gonna let you walk around like that?”

Isak blinks, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He chuckles again, “Whatever.” He drags out the word. He pushes a hand through his hair, “Where were you going anyway?” he asks.

Isak looks around, “The bathroom.”

Even tilts his head, “I can just show you where it is.”

Isak wants to argue but Even is already walking away. He groans and follows him down the hall. Even leans against the staircase that sits across from the door. His grip on one of the posts looks like it’s all that’s keeping him up. Isak nods to him awkwardly and opens the door. He lifts a hand and just as he goes to close the door Even moves forward.

“You okay?” Isak asks.

Even closes his eyes for a second and takes a deep breath. Then he's shaking his head and Isak knows immediately and steps out of the way. Too many times has he been through it and friends. Even drops to the floor and begins to puke into the toilet. Isak cringes at the noise. He closes the door and leans against it and watches Even throw up his innards.

“I’m gonna kill Mikael,” he groans into the toilet and it echoed in the bathroom.

Isak smirks smugly, “That’s what you get for drinking.” Seeing someone who gets looked at like he’s nothing but perfection look the exact opposite made Isak feel better.

Even lifts his head up and rips off a piece of toilet paper, wiping his mouth. He looks over at Isak and narrows his eyes, “I kinda wish I threw up on you for being the biggest bitch I’ve met this entire year.” He smiles tightly, “And I’ve met a lot.”

The look on Isak’s face is gone immediately. His eyebrows turn down in a furrow, “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry my friends are dicks, but guess what,” he flushes the toilet and stands up. “You don’t have to be a dick to everyone else.” he smoothed out his shirt. “I don’t know what your problem is with me specifically so, enlighten me.”

“You act like you guys don’t have a fucking reputation?” Isak scoffs in disbelief, “Plus when your friend fucking groped my friend you didn’t do shit.”

Even rolls his eyes, “And what was I supposed to do?”

“Tell him to fuck off, are you kidding me right now?” Even opens his mouth to say something in return but he shuts it instantly. Isak groans as Even drops down again and continues to vomit. “Jesus, you’re a mess.”

“Just shut the fuck up.” Even whispers into the bowl. His hands gripping hard onto the porcelain that his knuckles turn white.

Isak swallows hard and walks over. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” he murmurs. He digs through the cabinet of the bathroom and grabs a small glass. He fills it with water and hands it over. Even raises an eyebrow at him. “I might not like you, but when someone’s throwing up everything they possibly can, I’m not a dick about it.”

Even takes it, eyes never leaving Isak’s, then he sips the water slowly. Isak leans over and flushes whatever was in Even’s stomach down the drain. Isak sighs and holds his hand out for him to take. Even stands up slowly and groans at how he feels. Isak frowns, “Wash your face for a second.”

“I know.” Even says sharply. Even splashes water over his face and spits into the sink. He puts some water into his hands and sips it, swishing around. He grimaces at the look of his spit and turns off the faucet. He grabs the towel and wipes his face off and when he pulls it away, he looks at Isak strangely.

Isak presses his tongue to his cheek, “I’m just trying to help you, okay? I don’t know what you drank, what drugs you took, but if you took any, it’s down that damn toilet.”

Even closed his eyes again and pinched the bridge of his nose. Isak stepped forward and to his side, putting a hand on his back. He pushed Even out of the bathroom and up the stairs, ignoring the way people looked at them. Isak lets Even guide him to which room is his and once Isak gets the door open he practically throws Even onto the bed.

Isak held up a finger and walked out of the room. He hurried back down the stairs and dug through the cabinets again. Once he got a hold of a bottle of ibuprofen, he filled the glass with water again. He navigated with the still filled party and managed to get up the stairs without losing anything. When he walked back into the room, Even was already asleep. Isak flipped him till he was on his side and set the supplies down on the nightstand.

He awkwardly leaned over and pat Even on the shoulder. He back out quietly and shut the door behind himself. Isak leaned his head back till it hit the door and closed his eyes. He sighed heavily. He opened his eyes and they got wide. Standing across from him was one of Even’s friends. His hand was on the doorknob to his own room and they just stared at each other. Music and everyone downstairs was all they could hear. Isak felt his own pulse pick up.

The guy eyed him up and down then nodded. He opened the door to his room and shut it behind himself. Isak moved as fast as he could down the stairs to find someone he knew. No one else knew where he was besides one person and a roommate of all people. Isak was fucked. Somehow he was fucked.

\-----

Isak walked to his class with headphones dug deep into his ears. He was tired and last night’s incident was on his mind. He stopped walking when he saw Even walking his way, but he was looking down at something on his phone. Isak pulled an earbud out just in case and kept walking, hoping and praying nothing would happen.

And nothing did, Even just kept walking. Isak stopped again and frowned. He turned around and swallowed past the lump in his throat. He started a jog to catch up to Even, “Hey!”

Even looked up and turned around. “Oh, hey.” his eyebrows shot up.

Isak rubs the back of his neck, and manages to stutter out, “So um, how are you?”

“Why do you wanna know?”

Isak looked at him, confused, “Because you were dying last night?”

“Oh, yeah,” Even scratched the back of his head. “I have a pretty shitty hangover, so.”

Isak could tell from how he was talking he was pissed or tired or whatever the hell it was. Isak moved his laptop and notes to his other arm, “You know that means jackshit, right?”

Even rolled his eyes, “Yeah I know. I gotta get to class and so do you. Don’t have time to hate you right now.” he shrugged. “But you seem to have free time so, go do that, yeah?” He turns away from Isak and continues walking.

Isak stood there, not moving. He was speechless. Isak didn’t expect anything of him, he really didn’t, but not even saying thank you? That was a new low. He had to get to class, no matter how pissed he was and when he sat down Chris and Sana gave each other a look.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked.

“You seem grumpier than usual.” Sana added.

Isak took a deep breath, not wanting to expel his anger onto them, “Some people are ungrateful.”

Sana scoffs, “Obviously.”

Isak turned to her, “But when they’re already an asshole, it stings more, right?”

Sana leaned and rested the side of her face on her hand, “What’d you do now?”

“We went to a party last night-” Chris gasped, offended. “-I know, but anyway.” Isak sat up so he could look at both the girls. “And I saw that frat guy, who now has a name, Even, and he was wasted and I helped him out.”

Chris laughed, “You helped out someone you hate? Since when were you an angel?” She smiled at Sana and Sana bit back a laugh.

“Oh, be quiet.” he shoved her gently. “I did it because I felt bad. You see anyone like that, you feel bad. Then I saw him before I got here and he didn’t even say thanks.”

Sana’s eyebrows furrowed, “Maybe because he’s hungover?”

Isak scoffed, “You can still say thank you and move on.”

Chris shrugged, “He might just be tired. But if he doesn’t say thanks when he’s not hungover-”

“He’s an asshole.” Sana finished.

“Exactly!” Chris gestured and nodded in agreement. “Quit thinking about this annoying guy, Isak. You act like you fucked him and now you can’t let go.”

Sana laughed, “It really does.”

Isak rolled his eyes with a smile, “Fine, fine.” he held up his hands. “I won’t let it get to me anymore.”

Sana pointed her pen at him, “And if you see this-”

“Even.”

“Okay, this Even - just keep walking.”

Chris leaned across Isak and high-fived Sana. He nodded, “I will.” he smiled at her and she smiled back, dimples and all. “No one else knows about this so just keep it that way, okay?”

Sana raises an eyebrow, smirking, “Not even the boys?”

“No,” Isak laughs, “Because they don’t notice or don’t ask.”

“I’m sure they notice.” Sana smiled. “They probably just don't want to ask because you might not want them too.”

Isak shrugged, “I don’t know if I want them too or I expect it.”

Chris chuckles, “Well, you always come in looking pissed. It's why we ask.” Sana throws her a glare. “ _And_ , we care about you too of course.”

\-----

Another fraternity was throwing a party that night. None of them thought twice about who’d go to it. The only worry Isak had was seeing Even or any of his friends. It was loud as the usual but more packed than expected. Jonas, Mahdi, Magnus, and Isak ended up going into the backyard. The inside of the house making them feel claustrophobic.

“This shits gonna get shut down.” Mahdi said.

There was one loveseat, so Isak sat down on the wood planks of the porch with Mahdi. Magnus threw himself down onto the cold cushions dramatically. Jonas shoved him upright and sat down next to him.

“I hate to admit this,” Magnus says, biting his lip. “But that other frat has better parties.”

Jonas groaned, “But they’re assholes.”

Mahdi sighed, “But every time we go it’s great!”

“We don’t have any drama with them anymore.” Magnus points out.

Jonas caves quickly, “Fine. Next party we’ll go there.”

Isak looks at his friends and around. “Do we have anything? Drinks at least?”

Magnus lifts his head, “Shit!”

“We didn’t grab drinks before we came out?” Mahdi says in confusion.

“Obviously not.” Isak gestured to their empty hands.

Jonas groans as he stands up. “I’ll be back. If I don’t make it out of the walking dead, make sure you all give me a eulogy,” he threw a peace sign over his shoulder and stepped back into the house.

Magnus jumped up when he got a text message, “Guys!” his face lit up as he read along. “Guess who’s here!”

Mahdi and Isak rolled their eyes, “Vilde?” they said in unison.

“Hell yeah!” he jumped up and ran into the house.

Mahdi and Isak took the opportunity to sit on the couch. A few other people were outside as well, but they were on the lawn rather than the porch.

“You okay?” Mahdi asks quietly.

Isak nods, “Yeah,” he tilts his head. “Why are you asking?”

Mahdi shrugs, “Just wanna make sure. We never really talk about shit, but I care about you.” he looked at Isak and there was genuine concern in his eyes. “You seemed pissed off a few days ago, so.”

Isak smiled, “I’m fine, don't worry.” he winked.

“Good.” Mahdi beamed his wonderful smile. After minutes passed and Jonas still didn’t come back, Mahdi got up. He jumped slightly as he did to fix his pants. “I’m gonna go see where they are and if they died. Don’t get into trouble.” he pointed a finger.

“Can’t promise anything.” Isak held his hands up with a smirk. He sighed when he was left alone. He adjusted his hat, brushing his hair back, then placing it back on his head.

He looked around in boredom. Then he pulled his phone out, seeing as it's the only thing he can do. 

“Playing on your phone at a party?”

Isak froze. His thumbs stopped moving over the game he was playing. He felt his jaw clench at the voice. He reluctantly looked up to see Even. He was leaning against the post that held up the house. Leg crossed over the other, hands in his pockets. Isak wanted to punch him.

“And why do you care what I do at a party?”

“Where're your friends? Seems like a pattern, you being left alone.”

Isak put his phone down, “Inside getting shit for all of us.”

Even tilted his head, “Yet they’re all still inside.”

“You know how crowded it is in there.”

“Doesn't matter.”

Isak let out an annoyed sigh, “Just fuck off.”

“Why do you care what I do at a party?” Even mocked.

Isak wanted nothing more than to throw his phone full force at Even. Stand up and kick him in the dick like he deserves. But he knew he couldn't do that. Even would probably kill him in return.

“What do you want?” Isak asked, deadpan.

Even folded his arms and pursed his lips. “You to treat me with some decency.”

Isak blinks. His face scrunches up in disbelief and anger, “Treat you with decency?”

“Yup. You seem to be foreign with the concept.” he retorted.

“So do you, obviously,” Isak bit back.

Even hummed, “I’m a good person, really.” He stopped leaning against the pole and took a step forward. “You just decided to hate me from the get go,” he smiled and before Isak could speak, walked back into the house.

Isak’s mouth was agape. He looked as furious as he felt. The nerve he felt to say that when Isak spent his time taking care of him. Ditched his friends to help his drunk ass. Put up with the rude remarks. Ignored what he hated most and he was being told to be nice to Even.

That was when Isak decided. That was the last party he’d go to from now on. He didn’t want to risk having to see Even. He didn't want to even think about him.

\-----

Isak was bored beyond belief. All his work was completed, and his classes were already done. He decided to walk with Jonas and Eskild to their class. Eskild was a friend of Isak’s, who he met in high school. He was serving as a TA for Jonas’ class, and even if he wasn’t under Isak’s major, he was a big help. He’d always been kind to Isak. He had shitty advice, sure, but the fact that he tried mattered much more.

Jonas and Eskild were talking about his paper he’d written for the class. Isak was amused by the fact Jonas wasn’t trying to bribe Eskild to give him a six. But Jonas wouldn’t do that if he really liked the work he’d done. Isak would do it if he felt shitty enough.

When Isak saw who made eye contact with him in the hallway yet again, he had to mentally remind himself to keep walking. Jonas and Eskild must’ve noticed too because they looked up and had the same reaction. More like Eskild was somehow impressed with the looks of him. Yet again, Even. He looked at Isak in a way that implied in the most obvious way, he knows who he is. The eye contact only broke when he finally got past them.

“Was that-”

“Who was that godly piece of work?” Eskild asked, looking back.

“That was the guy from the frat.” Isak said.

Jonas blinked, “I thought so,” his voice was uneasy. 

Isak grimaced, “We saw each other in the hall another time before. He clearly remembers who I am and he’s a fucking asshole.”

Eskild laughed, “How? Because he’s attractive?”

Isak rolled his eyes, “No, because he just acts so shitty at parties and what he did with the whole Vilde thing.”

“That I get, he should’ve done something they’re his friends.” Jonas inputs. “But the acting like a dick, he’s all wired on alcohol and drugs. What can he do?”

“There are other people at that party who get just as hammered as him and yet they don’t talk the way he does.”

“Maybe that’s just his personality?” Eskild suggests.

Jonas chuckles sarcastically, “That’s a great personality to have.”

“People who are drunk are different than what they are in the morning.” 

“Drunk actions are sober thoughts,” Isak throws in.

Eskild holds his hands up, keeping a firm grip on the notebooks in his hand, “I’m just saying, he might actually be a decent person when he isn’t partying.”

Jonas explains, “He has a reputation of being quite the lady killer.” 

Eskild waves a hand, “Whatever. I can understand why, anyway.”

Isak sighs, “I don’t even know him, and he pisses me off. I just look at him and I wanna get up and punch a wall.”

Jonas laughs, “Did he do anything to you, though?”

“No.” Isak’s mouth formed a thin line. 

Jonas and Eskild looked at each other from the corner of their eyes. “Alright,” is all Jonas says and then they continue to where they need to go.

\-----

School had been kicking Isak’s ass for weeks. He finally managed to never see any of the fraternity guys ever again which is the one time Isak felt like the universe was on his side. He couldn’t get school under his grip and he spent nights awake studying. Magnus told him he should just do everything in the morning but Isak wasn’t having it.

One night it became too much. He practically threw his text book across the room right when Magnus walked in.

“Okay, fuck this.” Magnus bent down and picked it up. He put it down on his bed and folded his arms. “We need to go out. You haven’t done shit besides studying.”

Isak stood up, “Because I have assignments to ace?” He reaches for the book when Magnus grabs his hand.

“We’re getting Mahdi and Jonas, and we’re going to a party.”

Isak groaned, throwing his head back, “Mags!”

“No! We’ve seen how tired you look! You need to relax for one night.” Isak folded his arms and looked away. 

“So let’s take me, who is _so_ tired, to a loud party?”

Magnus sighed, “Please! One night!” He put his hands together and dropped to his knees, begging. 

“Okay!” Isak laughed. “Don’t need to get all weird on me.” He turned around and grabbed a jacket.

Magnus leaped up, “Fuck yeah!” He cheered. He swung open the door and ran across, knocking on the door. 

Isak shook his head and put his shoes on. He leaned forward and waved to Mahdi and Jonas. 

Mahdi tossed something to Jonas, “You take the keys!”

“Why do I always take them?” Jonas shoved them deep into his pocket.

“Because I trust you.”

Jonas pointed a finger, “I trust you more.”

Mahdi rolled his eyes, “As long as we don’t get locked out it’s fine.” He walked into Isak and Magnus’ dorm. “Or we might have to crash here.”

Isak pushed everyone out and locked the door. He put the keys in his pocket, “How can I deal with you guys in our dorm if I can barely handle Magnus on his own?”

Mahdi and Jonas laughed while Magnus shoved Isak playfully. “Says you who stays up and slams into everything.”

Isak shrugged, “You got me there.”

\-----

Isak was willing to go out, sure. But he didn’t know where the hell they were going. If they were going to Even’s fraternity or any other he couldn’t back out even if he wanted to. He was lucky to see that it wasn’t his house. It was a sorority they’d been to many times before.

He knew some people there but there were too many you couldn’t find anyone. He ended up splitting from his friends. Ended up on a couch with some random people and he usually stuck with them. They kept Isak from doing shit he’d regret later. But the stress that took over his life for the past two weeks was something he wanted to get rid of in one night.

Downing cups left and right. He felt like shit but none of that mattered. He didn’t know who he was with and he didn’t care. The guy next to him at some point pulled out a bottle and Isak didn’t think twice of it. Didn’t question the guy putting it into a piece. Didn’t question when it came to him. Didn’t question what the hell he smoked. Isak’s eyes widened instantly at the intensity. He coughed a few times and shook his head to shake it off. He laughed at the sudden rush and he didn’t even notice who came up to him.

“Isak? The hell you look fucked up.”

“Hey, Even!” he grabbed his hand and pulled Even down next to him. “You gotta try this shit, man.” Isak took a breath and smiled, “It feels so fucking good.”

Even leaned forward, and studied his face. Pupils blown and Even shook his head, “What the fuck did you smoke?” 

Isak shrugged, “I don’t know, but who cares! I feel fucking fantastic. I haven’t felt good in so long, Even.” his words began to tumble as he spoke fast.

“Isak,” he looked at the rest of the pills on the table. “You fucking took speed, what the hell?”

Isak laughed, “Oh, shit, really?”

“You don’t check what you’re taking before taking it?” he stood up and pulled Isak with him. “What if they did something to you?”

“In my defense, it was smoked.”

“That doesn’t change the fact it’s fucking meth!”

The music became painfully loud to Isak’s ears now. He ignored it just like he was ignoring everything else. Even dragged him out of the party and he didn’t care where they were going.

“Wait! My keys!”

“You don’t need your keys right now.”

Isak dug his feet into the ground to stop Even, “Magnus needs them to get in!”

Even rolled his eyes, “He can stay with someone for one fucking night.”

“Even, I’m not sleeping. I’m not even tired,” Isak pulled away from Even and stopped in the middle of the walkway. “Can we just go back?”

Even stared at him for a second. He let his arms fall to his sides and he sighed. “I’m trying to help you here can you just work with me?” he stepped forward slowly.

Isak pushed him back. He wasn't happy anymore. He wasn't on whatever high he had been on where he'd let Even drag him out of the party. "Wait, hold the fuck on,” he stared at him, glowering. “I went out of my way at that party and you treated me like shit after. We don’t need to be buddy-buddy with each other but fuck!” his breathing started to pick up. Whether it was from the drugs or his sudden anger or both. “Then at the other one, you acted like an even bigger asshole! Treat me with decency? Fuck you!”

“Okay! I’m a dick and I’m sorry about that.” Even spilled out quickly. “Just calm down, take a breather. You look like you’re ready to pass out, Jesus.” he put his hands out and looked down at Isak. “Just relax, please.”

Isak took a deep breath and stepped away so he wasn’t so close. He crouched down and placed his head in his hands, “What am I doing?” the rush was dying out. Everything went from striking to soft. The courtyard and Even now were soft focused. The music in the distance wasn’t loud anymore. It was cold and Isak shivered.

“What you want, I guess.”

“And what are you doing?” Isak looked up at Even and then around. He stood up slowly, “You can’t make up anything just by this. Being nice this one time.”

Even rolled his lips in to fight raising his voice, “Are you really going to hold one night against me? You’re gonna trust what other people say about me? So that makes me the asshole and you a saint? You might not have a reputation and even if you did I wouldn’t treat you like shit over it. You were nice to me once, Isak.”

“And I still got told off in return!”

Even laughed, “Because I was tired! I threw my _guts_ up that night, you really expect me to be fine the next day? We’re not even close at all why are you acting like you matter! Why are you acting like I should matter to you?”

Isak stiffened at that. “I don’t give a shit about you. I just can’t fucking stand seeing you and it pisses me off.” he pointed a finger, punctuating, “Because I can’t stop myself from getting annoyed because you like to walk around like you’re hot shit.”

“Maybe,” Even stepped forward, leaning down, “if you stopped caring about what I did, you wouldn’t have to be pissed,” he smirked, “I wasn’t even the one who was an asshole from the start. That was you.”

Isak didn’t say anything else. He didn’t have the energy and didn’t want to. He turned around and stormed back to the dormitory. He ignored Even calling after him, but he didn't run to stop Isak. When he got there Magnus was sitting outside the door on the floor. 

“Where’d you go, man? We left to shit got too crazy and the-” he stood up and took one look at Isak. “Whoa, are you okay?”

Isak shoved him out of the way and unlocked the door. He kicked off his shoes and they flew carelessly around the floor. Magnus didn’t walk in. He stood in the doorway and watched with concern.

“Are you coming in or not?” Isak asked sharply. Then from behind Magnus, Jonas opened the door to his dorm. He leaned against the doorframe and Isak’s angry expression faded.

Jonas pushed himself off and walked past Magnus into the room. “Go stay in my room for now.” he murmured to Magnus. He nodded and closed the door to the other dorm, leaving Jonas and Isak.

Isak lost control the moment he heard the door click. “I’m so fucking tired.” he whispered, his voice breaking.

“I know,” Jonas whispered back. He closed the door and walked further into the room till he was right in front of Isak.

“No, Jonas, “ he put his hands in his hair and let out a shaky breath. “I’m fucking tired.”

Jonas placed his hands on Isak’s shoulders, “No one likes seeing you like this.”

“I don’t like being like this!” Isak sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands.

“What happened anyway? Why’d you leave the party without us?” Jonas sat down and looked at Isak closely.

Isak rubbed his hands over his face before sitting up straight, “I-I fucking took some drugs I’m still drunk I ran into fucking Even of all people and we fought and I can’t even look at him without getting pissed so that didn’t help.”

“Who’s Even?” Isak knew Jonas was more concerned about the drugs more than some random person. But he didn’t care to bring it up because it’s obvious what’s more important.

“The guy who owns the frat.” Isak sighed.

Jonas laughed, “Him? You hate him, big deal! He’s an asshole, he’s an asshole!” He put a hand on Isak’s back and shook him gently. “He’s not your friend, so why does it matter what he does and says? If he’s on a high horse, then he is. That’s how every person is who’s in a fraternity or a sorority.”

“I know that,” Isak turned his head. “It was working for a while since I managed to dodge him. I don’t know why but I just can’t fucking stand him. I stopped going to parties because he was always there and we’d always get into some sort of fight. He’s an ass!”

“Then you don’t need to let him know that.” Jonas shook his head, “Look, the more upset you get over some random person the more it’s gonna stress you out. You have enough on your plate already let this guy out of your head.”

Isak nodded, “I know. It’s just hard.”

Jonas huffed, “As I said, you’re not friends. You never were. You met him a few times at parties and didn’t hit it off, so what. His friends are dicks anyway.”

“Thanks.” Isak laughed.

“Just focus on what you were doing before that shitty party.” Jonas pat him on the back and stood up. “Get your work settled and we’ll only go to parties if we stick together.”

Isak smiled, “Really, thanks. This shit sounds so pathetic.”

Jonas shrugged, “It’s not pathetic to me. Someone’s rubbing you the wrong way, is all.”

There was a knock at the door and then Magnus stepped in. “Is it safe now?”

Isak grabbed his pillow and threw it at Magnus. Jonas laughed and stood up, “We’re cool.” he put a hand on Isak’s neck and squeezed. Then he said goodnight and shut the door behind himself.

Magnus titled his head, “You’re fine now, right?”

Isak smiled, “Yes Magnus, I’m fine now.”

\-----

Isak woke up earlier than he wanted. He didn’t have class till midday and he couldn’t fall back asleep. So he grabbed his things and went to the library. He couldn’t handle anything this early besides the most silent place you could possibly be.

He flipped through the pages of his textbook to where he left off. There were a few other people in there as well. All looking just as tired as him. He fiddled with his pen, slowly zoning out. As he began to practically dissociate someone pulled the chair out across from him and sit down. They snapped their fingers in front of him and he came back to reality.

“Can you just for the sake of both of us, leave me alone?” Isak asks with not much effort in it.

Even folds his hands on the table, “I wanted to talk to you.”

Isak rolled his eyes, “I think we’ve said what we needed to.” 

“No.” Even watched him intently. “I really want to talk to you.”

Isak put his stuff down and leaned back in the chair, “Fine.”

Even smiled. “Thank you, you’re so generous.”

“Not off to a good start.” Isak mumbled.

“Alright.” he took a deep breath. “First of all, I wanted to know how you were doing.”

Isak raised his eyebrows, “Why?”

“Because last night you were a mess.”

Isak couldn’t be mad at him for saying what it was. Isak knew he wasn’t the best last night and he knows what Even wants to address. “I’m fine now.”

Even nodded, “Good, that’s good.” He tapped on the table quietly. “I wanted to apologize properly to you. I’ve been an asshole to you and I didn’t mean what I said last night I was just stressed out. During the day, it’s hard, so I just party at night and get trashed and do whatever I want to. I know my reputation, the good and the bad, I know how people look at me. I’m sorry about my friend and what he did. That was wrong and I should’ve done something, but I didn’t. I admit that.

I don’t need us to be friends, Isak. I just want us to be able to look at each other from across the room and not think about the ways to kill each other. I want you to feel comfortable to go to parties. As I said, I get drunk and drugged up at every party but,” he shrugged. “That’s how I am.”

Isak stared at him for a while. He couldn’t figure out what to say. The apology seemed genuine throughout. He swallowed hard, “I’m sorry for being a total dick. It wasn’t appropriate either and I’m not even on something at half those parties.”

“Don’t think on it.” Even says softly. “We both acted like shitty people and we owned up to it so,” he shrugged. “It’s fine and I could’ve just ignored you, but I didn’t.”

Isak nodded, agreeing. He could’ve done the same thing. “It’s really not fine.” Isak sighed. “As you said before, you didn’t do shit I just acted like a total asshole.”

“You and I both have a lot to do everyday and parties are a thing we need to relax and it’s been hell, hasn’t it?” Isak didn’t need to say anything for Even to know he agreed. “I have a top grade that I need to keep, you probably need to focus on your work, and honestly partying the way I do isn’t helping either one of us.”

Isak laughed, “Top grade?” he lowered his voice when he realized how loud he was. “You? Top grade? Bullshit.”

Even smiled, “You don’t believe me?”

“Of course I don’t! How can you expect me to?”

“Maybe you’d have some hope.”

“Even, there’s no way someone who parties the way you do is like, some class scholar.”

“Okay, then how about you, hm?” Even leaned forward and tapped the book. “What’s this all about? You seem to act like you’re smart, and I’m not.”

Isak scoffed, “I didn’t say you weren’t smart, I just don’t believe you’re the smartest guy in your class.”

Even raised an eyebrow and smirked, “I major in visual and performing arts. Music, theater, all that. It takes a lot of brains to come up and analyze what you hear and see. You need passion and persistence to succeed in it. I spend most of the day watching the same films and plays on repeat. Listening to old songs you wouldn’t want to listen to on a daily. I love it, don’t get me wrong,” he inhales sharply, “but it can be a _little_ repetitive.”

Isak folds his arms, “What makes you the best then?” he tilts his chin up and smirks.

“I exceed in every form.” Even grins.

“Oh, really?”

Even leans back, relaxing into the chair, “I’ll show you some time. What have you been studying then?”

Isak looked at him for the first time without hate. Listened to him talk and didn’t get annoyed or want to leave. He looked at him like a person. Isak smiled, genuinely smiled, at him. He wasn’t bad at all. When he wasn’t trashed or drugged up like Jonas said, he was intriguing. From his voice to everything else about him he was intriguing.

“Human ecology.”

Even nodded, lips pursed, “That’s interesting.”

“I try to wrap my brain around it but,” Isak shakes his head. “It can get complicated.”

“How so?”

“Just having to understand humans and all their fucked up ways of dealing with things. Relationships, neuroscience, nutritional science, human development, our relationship with the Earth. It can just get all,” Isak flails his hands. “Mixed up and shit.”

Even narrows his eyes slightly, “Did you like biology in high school?”

Isak nods, “Yeah, it was my best class. I also just like learning about how we work, too. Not just the basics.”

“Are you passing now?”

“I’ve managed to keep it up with the help of my friends, but I’m not a scholar like you.” he smirked.

Even pointed a finger and raised his eyebrows, “Got that right.”

Isak laughed. Fully laughed. Big and deep in his chest. He thought on Even’s apology, at least one part of it. He didn’t want them to be friends - he needed them to be. Why it was such a necessity wasn't clear yet. He didn't want to forgive Even so easily, but something in his brain told him to. Isak would put up with the trashy drunk Even was if it meant being close.


	2. Chapter 2

The boys entered the sorority house, after pushing past the multitudes of people outside the door. Having attended parties at this house before, they pretty much knew the layout of the house. This party was very different than any other they’ve been to at this place before, though.

Nearly everyone was tipsy, if not full on drunk. Little clusters of people on the sidelines of the floor were making out, but the majority were grinding on each other to music no one was really listening to.

You could barely see the opposite wall, there were so many people. The atmosphere was tight, and the music was deafening. Cans and bottles seemed to pile up everywhere. Isak felt bad for whoever got cleaning duty afterwards. They had their own spot they hung out at, too, but even that was taken. The group attempted to navigate the floor towards the kitchen, but Isak stopped.

He immediately saw Even. He was talking to someone, laughing. The guys turned for the kitchen already. Isak looked at them and back at Even. The guy he was talking to hugged him, then walked off, giving Isak the open opportunity.

Isak stood there awkwardly for a second, deciding how to approach him. Making up his mind he walked over before Even could leave himself. He tugged onto the bottom of Even’s flannel, “Hey!” he said, a little too excitedly.

Even looked down then back up, “Oh, hey.” His response wasn’t as enthusiastic. 

“How are you?”

“Why do you wanna know?” Even said sharply. He took a sip from his beer. 

Isak frowned, “I just wanted to talk to you, now that we don’t wanna rip each other to pieces.”

 

Even leaned his head back and then looked down at Isak, “Just go with your friends.” He walks away to wherever the rest of his own friends were, without a second thought.

It took all of Isak’s might to not go off on him. He turned around and went back to the kitchen where his friends were. He kept his back to them as he poured himself a drink, making sure they couldn't see his anger. Until he felt certain he looked fine he turned back around. He knew he had to put up with it. Whether that was right to do, he had to. 

Jonas’ eyebrows furrowed and he tilted his head, “You okay?” he mouthed to Isak. His ability to sense when something happened still amazes Isak.

Isak smiled and gave him a thumbs up, then pressed the cup to his mouth. Jonas nodded and continued his conversation with the others.

“They think just because they’re older, they’re the shit at drinking games!” Magnus states. “I lost once at a party. Once!”

Mahdi set his cup down, “Then let’s show them who’s king.” He waved over his shoulder.

The group walked out of the kitchen to the table set up in another room. Mahdi and Magnus agreed they’d do it together so Jonas and Isak watched beside them. Magnus grabbed the water coated ping pong ball out of the red cup that had a strip of tape on it, indicating it’s difference between the alcohol filled ones. He twirled it between his fingers, eyeing his competitors. Mahdi started laughing at the faces he was making. The guys across them smiled as well, obviously amused. One of the guys explained the house rules and then they began. Magnus and one of the guys, each holding the ball. When they tossed them, Magnus let out a curse. Jonas, Isak, Mahdi, and others rooting for him let out an uproar.

“You sure you’re king?” Isak asked, laughter in his tone.

Mahdi tsks, “Come on, it’s just the serve. It doesn’t count yet.”

Their rival tossed, missing, and Magnus and Mahdi nudged each other with satisfaction. Magnus tilted his head back and forth, acting like he was cracking it. Isak almost wanted to leave from embarrassment alone. Magnus then tossed it, and when it landed into the cup he let out a burly yell, high fiving Mahdi. 

“The game just started!” Jonas laughed.

Magnus laughed, “And I’m still winning!”

In a disappointing turn of events, the opposing teammate got it in their cup. Mahdi and Magnus held out their arms in shock. Magnus shook his head and pulled the cup. Without checking what type of alcohol it was, he took it down. He immediately took it away and his face scrunched up.

“That was straight up vodka!” Magnus gags out, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His face looked as if he bit into a very sour lemon.

Isak watched in amusement, laughing alongside Jonas. Mahdi and Magnus were a pair that when not together they were different. But together like this they had the same personality. He looked across the table and he froze. Standing next to the team playing was Even’s friend. The same one who saw him at the party.

He looked up at Isak and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. It was a mix of wondering why Isak was staring at him like that and trying to figure out who he was. Then he must’ve figured out who he was because he smirked, one side of his mouth curling up. He squinted and backed up, walking away.

Isak almost followed him, but he knew he shouldn't. What he saw could be taken in many ways and Isak was praying it wasn’t the wrong one. If he saw Isak dragging Even’s drunk ass up the steps then he wouldn’t question. But if he did, he would’ve helped them. No rumors were being spread that Isak knew of. Even didn’t bring anything up to him which somehow scared him more.

He pushed back the anxious thoughts and went back to the game. Trying to distract himself by watching Mahdi and Magnus act overly dramatic and like fools over it. Based off the cup ratio, it looked like Magnus and Mahdi were actually winning.

“Your friends aren’t that bad!” 

Isak looked over at the girl next to him, surprised to hear her talking to him. She definitely was an older student just based off how she looked. She was shorter than him but not by too much.

“Yeah,” Isak kept staring at her. “Not too bad.”

“How come I’ve never seen you guys around?”

Isak shrugged, “We come here all the time.”

“It’s my sorority, so I’d hope to know who you are.” She smiled. “I’m Sonja.”

Isak smiled back, “Isak.”

She was gorgeous. Disgustingly beautiful. Her face was soft all around. Her eyes were welcoming and her smile was endearing. Her hair fell softly in its short waves over her face. Isak understood if anyone wanted to be with her. 

Sonja looked over at him, “Do you know anyone here?”

Isak blinked. “Oh yeah-” he looked up at the game to hide his embarrassment and then came back to her. “The frat guys.”

“Which ones?” She frowned.

“Alpha Chi Phi?” he raised an eyebrow in concern. “Even’s frat?”

She groaned, “Really? Them?”

“I mean, me and Even know each other a little.” Isak laughed, “You hate them or something?”

“It’s just-” her sentence gets cut off by loud cheering. Her and Isak jump slightly at the sound. Magnus and Madhi hugged and Jonas ran over to high-five them. Isak smiled and did the same when they ran over briefly. 

“What’d I say!” Magnus cheered with a smile. 

The guys they were up against clapped hands with them, smiling and they went to another part of the party. 

“As I was saying,” Sonja shook her head and turned her body to face Isak. “I don’t hate them. They just get on my nerves.”

Isak held back a laugh, “I agree completely.”

“They’re just so loud, and don’t get me started on Even.”

“I don’t think you need to. I have my own personal experience with that.”

Sonja furrowed her eyebrows, “What happened?”

Isak grimaces, “Didn’t hit it off when we first met each other. He’s just a dick at parties, so I didn’t like him. We talked it out, though, so we’re fine now.”

Sonja hummed and she nodded. She looked down as she thought of what to say, tongue pressed to the side of her upper teeth. “So you put up with it?” she asked finally.

“I’m trying to,” Isak shrugged. “I can tell he’s nice and probably can help me and the guys out.” he pointed to his friends who were now sitting on the beer pong table. 

“Do whatever you have to do. His friends, on the other hand, are annoying drunk or sober.” She laughed towards the end of her sentence. 

“I’ve never met them.”

Sonja smiled, “Keep it that way! I made the mistake of meeting them. I wanted to get close to them because I liked Even and we both have similar status in college and in the end I just didn’t like them.”

“But they come to your parties?”

“I can’t tell them no.” She shrugged.

They ended up talking through the whole party. Topics changing as they got to know one another. Isak couldn’t believe he found someone who owned anything he liked. Sonja was kind and would listen to whatever Isak had to say. He’d been to her sorority parties before and regrets never meeting her before. He also didn’t see his friends leave and go somewhere else, but he didn’t care. He was fine with who he was with. 

She knew who Even was in a way Isak didn’t. That feeling was reassuring somehow. He knew Even wouldn't and couldn't say anything he normally would if he saw them. Sonja made that clear from how she talked about him. It wasn’t in a controlling, horrible way. It was like Even had some respect level for her that even his drunken state could get past.

Isak needed her. He needed her not to just get invited to parties, get on the good side of teachers and authority, and meet older students that would help him out. He needed her to understand and handle the shitfaced, pissed off person that somehow always found him at parties.

\-----

Jonas, Isak, and Mahdi lean against the building, waiting for Magnus to finish his exam so they could all hang out. Their conversation seemed to go on forever. Isak wondered why it would take Magnus so long to take one of the easiest exams on the planet. They were waiting for so long, they almost decided to ditch him. Isak laughed at Mahdi’s comeback to what Jonas was saying when his eyes trailed over his shoulder. 

In a group walking together was Even and the rest of his fraternity. People were greeting them and they smiled back. Guys clapping hands with them and others giving them handshakes as they walked past. Isak wanted to throw up from the clichéness, but he couldn't when saw Even.

He was a wearing a navy blue varsity jacket, with a light grey flannel and dark red shirt. In combination with the light blue jeans he was wearing, Isak couldn’t help but smile at him. His smile was timed perfectly, as Even saw him. He smiled back and waved a hand at him. Then him and his friends turned into the gym.

“What the hell?” Magnus asked. Isak jumped at the sound of his voice. He had one hand on his backpack strap and his face was scrunched up in confusion. “Why’d he wave at us?”

Mahdi looked just as confused, “More like why did he wave at Isak?”

The attention was on him now and Isak wanted to crawl inside his own skin. No one knew about their talk. No one knew hey we're cool with each other now. He knew he should've told everyone just in case they wanted to start shit with Even, but he didn't get around to it. Or he didn't want to do it.

“I thought you two had a problem with each other?” Jonas asked. His eyes telling Isak as a reminder of their conversation.

Isak looked at his friends and confessed, “We talked it out, okay?”

The three looked at each other, raised their eyebrows, then looked back at him.

“ _How?_ ” Magnus asked.

Isak scoffed and hit Magnus, “Don’t get weird about it.”

Jonas rolled his eyes, “Seriously, how do you go from wanting to fight him on the spot to waving and smiling at each other from across the yard?”

Isak sighed, “One time, I was in the library, and he came in and asked to talk to me. We cleared shit up and it’s fine now.”

Mahdi looked at him like he was out of his mind, “You couldn’t let go this easy like, two weeks ago?”

“I wanted to hear and see that he wasn’t being a dick on purpose, okay?”

“What’d he do originally that would make him apologize?” Mahdi asked.

Isak looked at Jonas and he nodded his head. Jonas was the only one in their friend group who knew and he knew he couldn’t keep it that way. Jonas was raising his eyebrows as a signal for him to just tell the other two who don't understand. It wasn’t that big of a deal, Isak knew that. But even he was aware some of his hate wasn’t reasonable. 

“We would fight outside or during parties. I called him shit and he called me shit. We just didn't click and I think he understood that so he just,” Isak raises a hand and it falls against his thigh. “apologized to me.”

Mahdi nodded, understandingly, “Did anything else happen? Like a fist fight or something?”

“Yeah, you acted like something really serious went down.” Magnus adds.

Isak scratches his head, “I told him it was the Vilde thing that pissed me off.”

“But that’s old news?” 

“I know I just,” Isak shrugged and sighed. “I just don’t like frat boys in general so I think I used that to defend myself.”

Magnus shrugged, “Well, that’s not important anymore. At least this means we get to meet more older students.” he smiled. “Now that Even likes you we can get into almost anything.”

“Who says I’m bringing you with me?” Isak raised an eyebrow, smugly.

Jonas laughed, “No but that's a good thing you’re cool now. For your own benefit and he can get you the hook up.”

Isak rolled his eyes, “Just admit you guys wanna use this as much as you possibly can.”

The three shrugged and laughed at their unity. They high fived each other individually and Isak shook his head. They started walking back to the dorms and Magnus began to ramble about the exam. How the teacher did this and that, how the kid next to him tried to cheat. Jonas making a comment on how Magnus probably cheated off the guy instead - then he got defensive which just proved Jonas’ point more. Isak laughed along with them and he felt good, decent, for the first time in the past two weeks.

\-----

Isak sat down on the grass besides the walkway of the courtyard. He leaned against the tree with his book propped up in his lap, pen in hand, and notebook beside himself. He clicks the pen repeatedly as he thinks. Keeping his focus on the text he’s reading while the other hand shovels food into his mouth. He writes with his palm pressed to the paper to keep it from getting dirty and to keep it in place. Other students passing by didn’t bother him nor did the other ones sitting around. 

He needed another sound that wasn’t Magnus or Jonas or Mahdi yelling. Just other people talking calmly amongst themselves and laughing made up for it. He liked being outside day or night. It was a relaxing place to be in the world. The air was clearer and if he zoned out there’d be something to really look at. Not just a plain white wall of a dorm.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Even sat down next to him on the grass and he almost choked on his food. He regretted not having something to drink on him. He makes a mental note that he’s a complete idiot for not doing something so basic. Even laughed at his misery and placed a hand on his back, patting lightly to help cough it up. Isak wiped his mouth after his embarrassing choking spill. 

“Sorry,” Even smiled sympathetically.

Isak cleared his throat, “It’s fine,” his hand was pressed to his chest and his voice was somewhat strained. “Not like you almost killed me.”

Even’s voice raised slightly, “I apologized!”

Isak smirked, “Next time I’ll scare you.”

Even rested his elbows on his knees, hands locking together, “Whatcha doing?”

“The usual.” Isak pointed to his notebook.

“I’m good at that.” he said, words dripping with sarcasm.

Isak raised an eyebrow, “Art _and_ a Human Ecology major? You do it all, Even.”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” he leans towards Isak, pressing their sides close together, “I know everything there is to know about,” he squints as he reads the textbook in Isak’s lap like a foreign language. “Reductionism.”

Isak smirks, “What’s it about then?”

He makes a face full of confidence, “It’s all about uh,” he flails a hand as he tries to come up with something. 

“Have you ever even taken a psychology class?” 

“I took other types of science instead.”

Isak sighs, “Reductionism is seen as completely fucking confusing when it comes into play of anything, not just science. They want us to read up on it for future tests.” he grabs his now cold food and chews as he speaks. “It’s boring because who wants to read on this of all things? It also just makes my head hurt.”

“Tell me about it then, smarty-pants, since you have to read it.” Even bumps shoulders with Isak.

“You really wanna hear about it?”

“Sure! Maybe it’ll help me out in trivia games one day.”

Isak sighs heavily, setting his textbook face down so he won’t lose his spot. He grabs his notebook and reads off the words from his notes, “Reductionism is the analyzation and description of a complex phenomenon in terms of itself, that are held to a simpler or more fundamental-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there because I could practically feel my head just go,” Even holds up his hands, pushes his fingers outward from his palms, and makes a boom sound with his mouth.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Isak giggles, “But, now you know why I need my friends to keep my six.”

Even shakes his head, “It’s probably simple when you read it over and over.”

“When finals come, I think my head's gonna explode.”

“Then don’t study the night before.” Even says as if it’s the easiest thing to do.

Isak rolled his eyes, “You’re taught that the moment you start taking tests as a kid.”

Even sighed, “I know, but!” he held up a finger, “I learned that if you study two nights before, whatever you need to remember, that gives you one day to soak in the information.”

“Does that work?”

“I’ve never tried it.” he smiled and shrugged.

Isak scoffed, “Who told you that, then?”

“An old science teacher of mine. I guess it’s so you also won’t stress so heavily.”

Isak nods, “I get it, I get it.”

Isak went back to his work and he expected Even to leave but he didn’t. He sat next to Isak the entire time. Watching him write and read, throwing in comments once in awhile. He asked multiple questions about what Isak was writing and then regret it a second later. Every time Isak would stop from getting stumped with a question, Even would just tell him to google it. But Isak insisted it’d be an authentic answer.

The moment was something Isak didn’t think he’d get out of Even. It was enjoyable and not once did they bicker. All it was, was the two of them under a tree doing Isak’s assignment. It amazed Isak how Even was outside of parties. He couldn’t wrap his head around it. He felt happy to be next to Even not the same old pissed off looks and sharp words that he wanted to say. Even was just as content with where they were. He set his ego aside of the entire school kissing his feet to simply sit there and watch Isak do work for a class he doesn’t understand. He didn’t need to vocalize his own happiness and contentment for Isak to know. 

\-----

Magnus tapped his pencil against the table, now not being used after only a few minutes of work. He was distracted by a computer game and focused harder on his screen than the work needed to get done. Isak had a good hour before class would start and he didn’t have anything better to do besides clean up. It was a rare sight to see coming from either him or Magnus. The dorm always had crap stuffed under the bed or in bags.

“Can I ask you something?” Magnus said out of nowhere. His game was paused and he was twisted around in the wooden chair.

Isak shrugged, “Sure.” 

He never let Magnus ask him anything. It was more of a rule for the entire group in general. Half the time one of them would get asked a question they wouldn’t answer in a million years, but they did it, because it was Magnus. And Isak would rather answer a dumb, invading question than have Magnus make assumptions.

“Why are you so nice all of the sudden?”

“What do you mean?” Isak stopped organizing and looked at Magnus, giving him his full attention. The question would’ve made anyone else mad, but Isak was used to it by now.

“I know you and Even are cool now so that’s why you’ve been more willing to go out but,” Magnus’ eyebrows furrowed, “You haven’t been your usual grumpy self.”

Isak shrugged, “I haven’t been stressed lately and I got all my work done so there’s not much to be stressed about.” he went back to cleaning when Magnus continued.

“Because of Even?”

His hands froze around an old t-shirt that was hidden under his bed, “Why would that be the only reason?” Isak looked at Magnus again, face scrunching up. The wording sounded defensive to his own ears.

Magnus held up his hands, “Whoa, no it’s not like that. We just noticed you’ve actually been wanting to go to class and don’t care where parties are happening anymore.”

“I’ve just felt better lately.” Isak said simply. “Nothing dramatic.” He looked down at his phone. He didn’t have to be in class this early. He usually was minutes before since it took seconds to get there. But he didn’t want to sit and talk to Magnus about the topic any longer.

Magnus nodded understandingly when Isak got up and grabbed his belongings. He plugged his headphones into the jack of his phone. Surprisingly, Magnus turned back around and continued his game. It must’ve been really obvious how much Isak didn’t care for the conversation.

Isak felt bad slightly. He knew Magnus meant well, but he didn’t want anyone to think something about his relationships with people. Explaining shouldn’t be needed. Isak walked out of the dorm and said good-bye to Magnus, who only made a noise of acknowledgement.

Isak looked down at his phone as he walked to class. Shuffling through his music when he heard Even’s voice from behind him. He pulled the earplugs out completely and shoved them into his pocket as he stopped. He turned around and Even jogged up to him. What took Isak back the most was him offering to walk Isak to his class. Not necessarily offered out loud, but it was implied.

People were looking at them that’s for sure. Isak could feel the eyes on himself but Even didn’t seem to care. He was so used to everyone always knowing him and looking at him he kept walking like there wasn’t anyone wondering who the hell was next to him. Even opened the double doors to the building for Isak and stuck an arm out. Isak rolled his eyes and walked in with Even behind himself. “Such a gentleman, you’re so much more than a frat boy.”

“And you’re so much more than an asshole.” 

Isak wasn’t mad at him for it. He actually laughed instead. When they walked up the stairs Even spoke again, “I personally always thought this teacher was kind of a dick.”

“Why’s that?” Isak asks.

“Never gave me the grade I deserved when I was in his class.”

Isak gasped dramatically. He stopped at the top of the second flight of stairs, hand on his chest. “Even? You? Not getting the best grade in the class?” Even rolled his eyes and shoved Isak playfully. “You probably were considering dropping out.”

Even laughed, “I should’ve to make a statement.”

They playfully bantered all the way to the classroom. The pair walked in and the room didn’t have too many people inside. It was earlier than most of the time Isak showed up anyway. Isak put his stuff down in his usual seat and watched Even run down the stairs like a child to his old one; which luckily wasn’t occupied at the moment. 

Isak smiled and waved to him who was more towards the front unlike himself. Even waved back and stuck his feet out, resting them on the chair in front of him. Other students looked at them strangely but kept to themselves. Then more people started to pile in and that was Even’s cue to leave. He jogged up the steps to Isak, “I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

Isak nodded and Even winked, then turned and hurried out of the room. Isak’s smile dropped when he saw Sana and Chris pop up. They were behind Even the whole time and they stared at Isak with knowing smiles. 

“Oh, shut up.” Isak sat down and opened up his notebook. 

Chris whistled as she sat down, making Sana giggle. “What happened to hating the hot frat guy?”

“Didn’t you want to ignore him from now on?” Sana asked. 

Isak looked at both of them and they were sitting the same way. Leaning towards him eagerly and their faces full of wanting to know every bit of detail of his non-existent past issue.

“Change of plans.” Isak said.

Chris and Sana let out a sarcastic, “Oh!” in unison.

“We talked it out, okay? That’s it.”

Sana frowned, “But I thought he was an asshole to you.”

“I still think you fucked him and you just won’t be honest with us.” Chris muttered. Sana reached across and hit Chris lightly on the arm and she laughed.

Isak ignored the comment and looked at Sana, “He is that’s the problem. I like him, I really do, because when you talk to him when he’s _not_ at a party he’s nice.”

Sana blinked, “Isn’t he the current owner of one of the most popular frats on this campus? So why be surprised by what he does?”

“I don’t want him to be that way.” Isak sputtered, “I shouldn’t have to be okay with someone doing that every night.”

Chris frowned, “But you can’t act change what he does or act shocked by it? Why were you from the start, it’s completely expected of him. It’d be more of a shock if he wasn’t a dick by night.” she laughed.

“You get to party with a bunch of older students but you can’t handle the one thing every college, especially frat, boy does.” Sana rolls her eyes, disappointed.

Isak shrugged, looking down at his computer and book. He traced a finger over the indention of the pen against paper, “I really don’t know why.”

Sana looked at Chris and they shared something with the look. Chris nodded and Sana took a deep breath, “Do you really like him?”

“In what context?” Isak joked.

“Do you appreciate the friendship?”

Isak thought on it for a little. He wouldn’t look up from the notebook. He knew the way Sana looked when she asked questions this way. He didn’t want Chris or Sana to know how he looked because he knew they could tell the answer before he opened his mouth.

“Yeah,” he finally looked up and nodded. “I do.”

Chris raised her hands, “Then put up with it more!” she chuckled, “You don’t hate each other anymore so you’re doing just fine!” 

The class was full now, so Sana leaned closer to Isak “It’ll pass.” she winked and sat back into her seat. 

Isak sighed heavily and flipped open his computer, opening the previous document he used to take notes on, and sat there. The girls told him the same thing every time and yet he still didn’t listen. He listened but it didn’t get through to him. Kept telling himself over and over the right and wrong. But his brain decided to ignore it and get upset with whatever happened to him.

If Jonas, Mahdi, or Magnus partied like Even he’d only care for one thing. What they decided to do that night. Hardcore drugs, drinking so much they knock themselves out, and so much more. If they using anything like heroin or cocaine he’d be raging to them about it. He would care because they're his best friends. But the shit Even took? That wasn’t anything too hard. None of it would be as addictive and he was primarily drunk rather than drugged up. He knew his friends probably had taken a party drug before in their life. Didn’t know the kind but they had to of and Isak didn’t care.

Isak couldn’t understand what made Even’s situation different. Even wasn't a best friend. They just became friends. It made no sense to him. It had bugged him from the start. It didn’t have to do with him being an asshole or cocky or anything. Even had a bad personality when he partied and it was a mystery why. A few weeks ago it would’ve been the reason, but now? Now it made no sense. None at all.

\-----

Isak was lying on his bed, Magnus parallel to him in his own. He was shuffling through his folders and Isak was scrolling through his phone when a hard knock came to the door. They lifted their heads up in unison. Isak set his phone down and stood from the bed, Magnus watching him closely the whole time. When he opened it slightly to see who it was, his confusion and somewhat fear disappeared.

Even was on the other side, hands now in his jacket pockets. He smiled down at Isak sweetly.

“Oh, hey, Even.” Isak opened the door further now being more comfortable. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanna show you something.” 

Isak raised an eyebrow, “Now?” Even nodded, still smiling.

Isak couldn’t say no when the guy was right there. He quickly grabbed his phone and bent down to slip on his shoes. He caught a glimpse of Magnus and he looked like he was trying his hardest to not look or show any interest in the situation. Isak muttered something under his breath, waved goodbye, and closed the door to his dorm.

The pair walked out of the building in a comfortable silence. The cool night air hit them, and Isak somewhat regret not throwing a jacket on before he left to God knows where. Even nudges Isak, and they quickly turn towards an unlit sidewalk. As it was quite late, Isak took this as a sign of him being sneaky. There were other people out for sure, but not on campus unless you had to stay back or worked there.

They eventually reach a building Isak never had a reason to go into: the drama building. Isak squints as Even jogged up the steps to the double doors, and he follows close behind.

Even pulled out a brass key from his jacket, “I said I’d show you why I’m the best student,” he slid the key into the lock and looked over his shoulder with a smile, “So I’m showing you.”

Isak laughed, “You’re gonna reenact a play for me?” he tapped on the small plaque beside the door that stated that it was the school’s theater.

“No,” Even rolled his eyes. He flicked the farthest lightswitch on, which only illuminated the floor and stage. “Something much more impressive.”

They walked down the stairs till they reached the floor. Stray chairs were piled against the far wall, props from the production class scattered on the stage, and a sleek piano on the other side of the room, right across from the chairs. The room was oddly cold, making the room feel eerie. Just the two of them, alone, with no other outside noise, creeped Isak out. He stepped closer slowly, trying to not make it obvious how he wanted to be closer to Even for comfort. Isak watched him, and a smile came across his face when he sat down onto the piano bench.

“You’re such a teenage girl's wet dream.”

Even tilted his head, smirking, “Am I really?”

Isak laughed, as if it were obvious, “Duh! The popular, hot drama kid, who probably seduces everyone with his pompous poetry, with way too many adjectives. Plus, you play piano.”

“Did you just call me hot?”

“That was part of the stereotype.” Isak raises an eyebrow.

“Still, came out of your mouth.” Even smiles, with a slight glint in his eyes. “Grab one of those chairs.” he pointed across the room. “Fair warning, your ass _will_ freeze off once you sit down.”

Isak lifted one of the metal chairs from the pile and unfolded it next to the piano. He sat down and Even was right. The cold went right through his jeans. He had already lost all feeling in his ass. He folded his arms and smiled, “So, what are you playing for me today, piano man?” he sinks down into the chair, slouching.

Even pursed his lips in thought, dramatically rubbing his chin as well. He let out a satisfied ‘Aha!’ when a song came to him. He sat up straighter and cracked his knuckles, foot placed neatly over the middle pedal of the piano. His eyes are on his fingers as they begin to go over the keys, foot pressing down with each movement of his left hand. Isak watches in curiosity, the music coming from the piano already sounding pleasing. It hits him then. He knows what song it is and he can already feel the blush coming.

The instrumental is cut short when Even opens his mouth as he sings. “Wise men say, only fools rush in…” his voice is deep and it breaks Isak apart immediately. Even’s eyes never leave his own fingers as he plays along, making sure to hit every note perfectly. 

Isak wants to admit to how cliché it is so he can laugh it off and joke about it, but he can’t bring himself to. He’s just sitting there, eyes wide. His eyes weren’t watching Even’s hands anymore. They were locked onto his face. How at ease, and calm Even looked has Isak feeling nothing more than wanting to do this for the rest of his life. 

“But I,” Even looks up briefly and smiles. “Can’t help, falling in love with you.” 

Isak grips onto his side with the hand that’s tucked tightly under his armpit. His shirt curling up into his fist and he rolls his lips in to hide how he really feels. He keeps telling himself to make fun of it. The way he watched Jonas play guitar didn’t make him feel like this. He loved watching Jonas play, thought he was great at it, but he didn’t blush like an idiot over it. 

Maybe it was the song choice, maybe it was who the words were coming from, or it was a mix of both.

“...Darling, so it goes, some things,” He was looking at Isak now. Eyes locking in with Isak’s. Even’s expression was somewhat expectant, as if he were reading Isak’s face for approval. “are meant to be.” he holds out the note then looks back down at his hands.

Even played without messing up once. His voice never broke a note, keeping in tune with the matching keys. Towards the end he let go of the seriousness and sang the last few words in a loud dramatic way that Isak would normally laugh at but right now, he couldn’t. He gave a fake smile and clapped when Even stood and bowed.

“Thank you, thank you.”

Isak looked down and around, hiding his flushed face, “See,” he smiled, raising a hand towards Even. “Total teenage girl crush material.”

Even sat down on the bench, more like straddled it, and kept his hands in front of himself. He smirked, “Was it enough?”

“Yes, yes!” Isak said rather quickly. “Definitely enough.” 

“Well, what hidden talents do you have?”

“I don’t have any.”

“Sure you do! Everyone has one!”

“Like what?”

“Some people can bend their thumb all the way back, and some can sing in every language. Hidden talents have a very wide range.”

“I used to rap with a friend in high school.” Isak admits, shamefully. Even let out a loud laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Hey, you said everyone had a hidden talent, this is mine!”

Even smiled, “Wow, Isak,” he inhaled sharply through his teeth. “Vanilla Ice has got some tough competition.”

Isak gasps and stands up to hit Even on the arm. Even laughs again and Isak feels his face heat up again. 

“I’m not gonna rap for you.”

“I wasn’t going to force you, anyway.” 

Isak motioned towards the piano, “This is the only reason why you’re the best in your class?”

“I also do my assignments well, mind you, but the musical ability and the filming is a plus.”

“Quit being a heartthrob!”

“How am I a heartthrob?” Even says, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“You being able to film? You might as well just direct the next Notebook.”

“I will, and I’ll make you my next Allie.”

Isak scoffed and Even laughed again, making Isak smile. The two get up from their respective seats, and silently head out of the drama building. How long they had spent in there was a mystery to Isak. It had felt like ages to him. Walking side by side with Even feels different than it did when they walked to the building. Isak feels everything more.

Even’s breathing, his warmth, him. He chased these thoughts away, until they were at the back of his mind. He just needed to focus on the sidewalk ahead. So encompassed in his mind, Isak hardly noticed their arrival at his dorm.

Even leaned up against the wall and tilted his head with a smirk. “Have I proven myself now?”

Isak smiles up at him, “Until I see your essays, no. Not yet.” 

Even groans, and Isak’s smile widens. He pulled out his phone and looked at it quickly. “I gotta get going, morning classes.” he pushed himself off and waved to Isak, jogging down the hall, “See you soon!”

Isak nodded, “Yeah!” 

When Even finally turned the corner, Isak’s smile was gone. He turned around and slid down the wall outside his door. His hands pushed into his hair on either sides of his head, head ducked down between his knees. He gripped tightly, tugging his scalp, and cursed under his breath. He didn’t want to explain to Magnus who would bombard him the moment he opened the door. He didn’t want anyone to question anything besides himself. And he even hated the fact he had to question it.

\-----

Isak couldn't bare it. He couldn't sit there in his room and stare at his phone for hours. Staring at the ceiling, then the walls, then the dumb poster Magnus recently put up wasn’t cutting it either. His mind was racing so much it almost made him want to cry. He checked the time and it was minutes before Eskild and Jonas would be free. He wanted to talk to both of them immediately. He knew he needed them. He hurried out of his dorm and got to the building just as the class finished.

He pushed past the crowded hallway as fast as he could and finally got to the classroom door. He pushed it open and luckily Eskild and Jonas were both still there. A few other students lingered in the room as well. They both were on the floor, Jonas standing in front of the desk Eskild sat at next to the projector. They were talking and didn’t pay much mind to him walking down the stairs. They both were messing with things on the table in front of them.

They finally looked to see who it was and both their faces lit up. Isak’s hands fidgeted, not knowing what to do with them. “I wanted to talk to you guys.” The door shut at the top of the room, indicating no one was left in there but them.

“About?” Eskild asked, organizing a pile of papers next to the one Jonas had stopped fixing.

Isak took a deep, shaky breath, “Something serious.” that made Eskild stop and look up. Jonas turned and sat on top of the table, his attention on Isak as well.

“How serious?” Jonas asked, eyebrows furrowed. Just by the look on Isak’s face and how long it was taking for him to answer he spoke again, “Okay, pretty serious then.”

Isak held out his hands, “Jonas, you’re gonna think I’m out of my mind for this.” Jonas made a face but didn’t say anything back. Which meant that Isak had to tell them now. “Last night Even came to my dorm-”

Eskild pushed back into his chair, “The one from the hallway?” He asked excitedly.

“Yes, the one from the hallway.”

Eskild intertwined his own fingers and smirked behind them, “Continue.”

“So he came to my dorm and whatever but like super late and so he took me to the drama room and I thought we were just gonna fuck around with the school, but no he,” Isak huffed out a nervous laugh. “He fucking sat down at the piano in there and played for me.”

Jonas blinked, surprised, “Played for you?”

Eskild smiled, “That’s nice!”

Isak sighed, “It’s not nice because of what he played.” They both looked at him, expectantly. “Played fucking ‘Can’t Help Falling In Love.’”

Eskild let out a squeal, “No way!”

“Shit, really?” Jonas asked, intrigued. 

Isak nodded rapidly, “And-and I was just like okay, it’s just a song, you know? It’s a nice song to play on any instrument. Then he would look at me in this way and I felt-” Isak swallowed hard. “I can’t like him.” he cut the story short there.

Eskild folded his arms, “Why not?”

“Because he’s probably unloyal.” Jonas said for Isak, looking over his shoulder.

“Just because he owns the frat doesn’t make him a cheater.” Eskild says.

Jonas rolled his eyes, “The most popular one. Eskild, if you could’ve seen the way they all walked across the yard you wouldn’t wonder why Isak is second guessing.”

“And he’s probably just being a nice friend,” Isak said, trying to wave it off. “I’m probably just reaching and it was a gesture because of what we were talking about with our majors so it really couldn’t be anything. Just a song.”

Eskild was looking at him hard now. His lighthearted, joking mannerism seemed to fall off. He sat up in the chair slowly and leaned forward, folding his hands on the desk. He licked his lips for a second. When he spoke it was a steady voice unlike his usual, “You will love who you want, Isak. If in your heart it is what you want, then go after it. But if you can’t trust the other person or yourself, don’t do it.”

“Don’t do something you wouldn’t want anyone else doing.” Jonas adds, the same tone of seriousness in his voice. “As Eskild said - if you want to try and be with Even then do it. But if it backfires, you can’t be surprised.”

“It’ll hurt either way.” Isak whispers.

“Then spare yourself.”

The double-doors at the top of the room creaked open and they looked up. Eva waved at them with a smile, “Hey guys!” she skipped down the steps. “Isak!” she smiled, surprised by his sudden appearance in the room. She hugged him and he hugged her tightly back, clearing his throat from the seriousness of the previous conversation.

As they left Jonas gave Isak a final look. It was one of luck. He didn’t need to say anything for Isak to know what he meant. He wouldn’t hate Isak no matter the choice he made. All that mattered was Isak was happy. The doors shut again and Isak looked at Eskild. He wasn’t as serious now but he was still thinking on it.

Isak swallowed, “What do you think?”

“I think,” Eskild rolled in his lips and looked at the floor. “You should just be really careful.” he finished with looking up at Isak. He gave a nod, “Be smart about this.”

“I don’t know what being smart would be.” Isak sat down on a random chair in the front row. He threw his head back and rested it against the top of it. “He’s so...so...”

Eskild smirked, “Hot?” his lighthearted tone coming back.

Isak laughed, it getting rung out from the way he was bent, “Yes.”

Eskild got up and grabbed the two piles from his table, “Well do what you want, Isak. Just don’t jump the gun. If you feel it’s right then try then, but if you’re not sure...don’t do it.”

Another class needed the room so Eskild ushered Isak out quickly. When they got outside the classroom, Isak wrapped his arms around Eskild’s neck and hugged him tightly. Eskild smiled into it and hugged just as tight back. 

The advice from many helped. But a hug was really what he needed. Isak was immensely glad he told Eskild and Jonas. He was relieved, like a part of the weight he was carrying on his shoulders was lifted. Isak couldn’t take the smile off of his face. The only real problem on his plate now was what he was gonna do with Even.

\-----

In a shocking turn of events, Even invited Isak and his friends to his party for once. He even greeted them when they came in. It didn’t feel out of place. This time they were supposed to be there. The only lights were purple and blue ones hung around and sitting on the floor, making the room illuminated. Past parties didn’t look like this so there must’ve been someone who decided to change it up. Either way, it fit entirely with what kind of parties happened here.

The atmosphere of the room where the boys sat was a lot calmer than where the majority of the people were. Isak sat alone on a couch across from Jonas and Mahdi, and Magnus on a chair nearest to Isak. He played with his sleeve, as Mahdi and Magnus seemed to be in very deep conversation about something. As if Isak’s boredom was heard, Even came up to their little corner, and sat down next to him.

Isak felt shocked to see Even wasn’t hammered yet. Usually, he already was, which meant they wouldn’t be hanging out for very long. But he was perfectly fine, acting like he did on a daily. He didn’t see Even after for almost the entire time till he came over to him and the group. They looked at him curiously as he dug through his pocket.

He moved various beer cans away, and placed two orange medical bottles on the table and smiled. The boys looked at each other then sat up straighter. Even popped open the caps and dumped them into a line of each other.

“How do you wanna do it?” he yelled over the music.

“Least painful way possible!” Magnus says, chuckling softly.

Even laughed, “So no snorting then?”

“How do you guys always have this shit and not get caught?” Jonas asked.

“We have our ways.” Even smirked. “We know who should bring it and where to keep it. If the cops ever crashed us or the school we’d only be found with alcohol and weed.” he dug into his jacket again and pulled out a piece. “And that shit? They can’t do anything about it. Plus, we put it in regular prescription bottles so unless they open it or really look, we’re in the clear.”

Isak watched his hands closely, “What if someone’s high off another drug?”

“They could’ve shown up like that.” he points out.

They watched Even smash up one of the lines and put as much as he could into the end of the piece. He pulled out a lighter and took a hit first. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and let out a shaky breath. He shook his head, shaking off whatever he felt internally. He smiled, passing it over to Magnus and kneeled down on the floor, watching them.

Isak’s eyes never left Even. There was something elegant in the way he took the hit, and he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes off of him even after. As much as Isak hated it, he couldn’t help himself.

His daydream was broken with Magnus’ voice-cracked laugh. “That shit works fast!”

Even smiles, “I know, it’s great, right?”

Isak leaned over and grabbed one of the not smashed pills off the table. He looked at it and recognized it from his first and last encounter with it. “How do you get this shit?”

“They’re party drugs, Isak.” Jonas shook his head. “It wouldn’t be that difficult.”

Isak watched his friends get shitfaced quickly. He knew their rushes would be over fast, from past experience, but watching them was entertaining. All three of them weren’t used to the drugs themselves. Even obviously was because he looked calm, watching them just like Isak was. Then he looked at Isak and they met each other’s eyes. Even dug into his pocket again and pulled out a small capsule. It was wrapped up in plastic and had words Isak couldn't make out on the front.

Isak raised an eyebrow and Even smiled, “You’ll like this one.” He shuffled on his knees till he was face to face with Isak. “Keep it under your nose once I open it and inhale, but not too much.” he said softly.

“What is it?” Isak asked, his pupils were blown already just from staring at the man so close to his face.

As Even twisted open the cap he said, “Poppers.”

Isak laughed, “Aren’t these used at raves?”

“Mhm,” he pushed the bottle up to Isak’s nose. “And don’t knock this shit on me. I don’t wanna get burned.”

Isak, after a moment, inhaled. Making sure to not take too much in. The aroma was sweet, nothing that would make anyone want to flinch away. Even pulled back and twisted the cap shut and his eyes were stuck on Isak’s face. He stared at him, looking to see how he felt. The music was louder than before and Isak felt warm after a few seconds. He closed his eyes and inhaled proper clean air. He opened his eyes again, but they were half-lidded. His breathing picked up as he really looked at Even.

He looked so different. Isak felt lost in his feelings, they were no longer hidden in the back of his mind. Even looked softer, and way more attractive than he ever did before. Through Isak’s lidded eyes, he lost himself in Even’s eyes. In his fuzzy state, Isak could only slightly recognize “Take It Off” by Kesha playing from way too loud speakers. It made him shift on the cushion of the chair. The mixture of Even in front of him and the song itself.

Even’s eyes darted all over his face, down to his lips, then back up to his eyes. He didn’t break the contact when he slowly put his finger tips to Isak’s lips. Isak knew he should’ve stopped him. But nothing in his body wanted him to. For some reason, he wanted it more than anything to happen. He didn’t care about where they were who was on the opposite couch. Even pushed his fingers past Isak’s lips and into his mouth, his own mouth slightly agape. Isak’s throat was more relaxed than usual, welcoming the long fingers into it.

Isak let out a shaky breath and he knew Even could feel it. The room was spinning already but this just made it even worse. The movement of everything seemed to slow down, making the drag of Even’s finger across his tongue more striking. Without thinking, Isak closed his mouth around them. Then he felt the fingers slip out of his mouth and yet, Even was still looking at him.

Then he broke the eye contact. He wiped the wet fingers on the side of his jeans and stood up. He picked up what was left over and shoved it back into his jacket so there wouldn’t be evidence left. He leaned forward and whispered in Isak’s ear, “You’re gonna have a pounding headache once it wears off.” He warned and left him and his friends behind.

Isak blinked and looked over at his friends. The only one he didn’t want watching was staring straight at him: Jonas. His eyes were wide, but he didn’t say anything. Just had his hands tightly gripping onto the couch and Mahdi’s jacket. Isak shook his head in worry and Jonas gave him a thumbs up, eyes still wide.

“Going for it then?” Jonas yelled over the music. He smiled and started laughing.

Isak sunk back into the couch and closed his eyes. Taking short inhales and exhales through his nose to relax himself. His entire body felt fuzzy and he hated it now that Even was gone. He opened his eyes and blinked. His breathing was unsteady and he felt something shift inside him. Something that he didn’t know could completely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so glad you all like it so far!! that means the world to me and its just as fun to write as it is to try and make you guys enjoy it every time. so ty my loves <3

The day was beautiful. The weather was perfect and Isak already finished everything he needed to. He wanted to spend it doing something rather than stay in his dorm or go over things he’s already seen one too many times. So he headed out to just walked around. Maybe something to do would come to his mind. 

Luckily, Isak spotted Jonas out in the courtyard. He was sitting at a bench, hunched over, staring at his phone. Isak had things still on his mind and he didn’t want that to be his only reason to talk to Jonas, but he was still so unsure. He wanted to know what was right and wrong. He didn’t want to find out for himself. Jonas was the perfect person to help him piece that together. 

So he walked over and sat down next to his friend. Jonas smiled at him, “Hey, man.” 

Isak greeted him back. They sat there quietly for a few minutes. They were the type that they could sit in absolute silence and not feel uncomfortable. No need to talk at all and they both were okay with that. Just each other’s company was enough. 

Isak looked ahead and his leg shook up and down anxiously. Jonas looked over at the movement from the corner of his eye but didn’t say anything. Isak wanted him to - badly. Wanted Jonas to read his mind so they wouldn’t need to say anything out loud. 

“I know we talked about this before,” that got Jonas’ attention. He stopped scrolling through his phone but didn’t look over. “But the party really fucked me up.”

“Fucked me up too.” 

Isak looked at him now. “Not that way.”

Jonas frowned, “Isak, dude.” he set his phone down. “He can’t go from being a dick to being nice just as a way to get in your pants.”

Isak was taken back, “He’s not trying to get in my pants.”

“What I saw at that party? Seemed like he was.”

Isak’s jaw was tight. He looked over and took a deep breath. His gaze was hard on Jonas, “I’ve hung out with him before. I can just take a guess that he’s only like that by his own choice.”

Jonas rubbed a hand over his face and up through his curls. “You shouldn’t have to put up with it in the first place.” he said sharply.

Isak looked down, “I know.”

“You obviously don’t, or you would’ve let him go.”

“I thought you supported this?”

“I do, but I said to be smart. To save yourself this confusion.” Jonas shook his head. “I’m always gonna be there for you and support you on anything, you know that. But when I see you questioning this much,” he looked at Isak with concern. “I just hope that in the end, you get what you want.”

Isak’s eyes locked with Jonas’, “I don’t know if I wanna talk about this anymore.”

“You don’t need to,” he rubbed circles into Isak’s back, “But I’m always here if you need to.”

Jonas’ main concern was him being safe. Avoiding heartbreak that was too possible. Isak understood and he even knew in his own head he needed to be careful. To focus on what is happening rather than being blind to it. Letting Even do whatever he wants, Jonas was right, it was unhealthy. But Isak knew there was something he could do to change that completely. He just needed to be aware of it.

Isak rolled his lips in, holding back his oncoming wave of emotions. “I love you.” he smiled.

Jonas laughed, “Is this your confession?”

“No,” Isak chuckles. “I just really love you.”

Jonas gripped onto Isak’s shoulder, “You already know I do.”

Isak knew he asked a lot of too many people. The advice given to him seemed to be repetitive. But he needed to know that what he was doing wasn't stupid or being blindly done. He wanted to make sure that if what he was doing was right, everyone would support that. At least he has good friends that’ll listen.

\-----

The boys were sitting at a lunch bench near the back of the school where the sports field was. They were eating and talking about planning to go on a trip for the upcoming break. Magnus grabbed a grape and tossed it at Jonas when he wasn’t looking. Isak had to bite on his finger to hold back laughing when it got caught in his hair. Magnus accidentally let his slip and Jonas narrowed his eyes at them. They both knew Jonas could see right through them so they pointed to the cause of their laughter.

Jonas taking it out of his hair led all four of them to start laughing. He tossed it back at Magnus and he caught it in his mouth. Everyone let out sounds of disgust and laughed harder. Mahdi wiped under his eyes and let out a breath of relief. 

If he needed a good laugh or anything to get off his mind, they were his go-to. He didn’t know any of them long but it felt like he’d known them his whole life. They clicked well together and even if they got on each others nerves it didn’t matter. One goes down the others run in and take their side. Isak loved them for that. 

Isak’s smile faltered when he saw Even walking over to their table. He cleared his throat and cut his laugh off awkwardly. 

“Oh, shit,” Magnus said a little too loudly. He winced when both Jonas and Isak kicked him under the table. 

Jonas looked at Isak and they shared the same confusion and worry.

Even smiled at the boys and swayed for a second on his feet. “You guys have anything going on tonight?”

The group looks at each other for validation and they all say shake their heads in unison. “Perfect. I’m having a party tonight. You should come.” he looks at Isak when he says it but makes it seem like it’s addressed to all of them.

Mahdi nods, “Yeah, we’ll go man.”

They didn’t need to tell Even and he didn't need to ask. They all knew they would go invitation or not. By this point they could go right into the fraternity with Isak’s name and get in.

Jonas looks at Isak again with an expecting look. The ultimate decision, whether said or not, depended on him. The boys could go all they wanted but it was clear Even wanted him to be there.

“Yeah,” Isak says, barely getting it past his throat. “We’ll definitely be there.”

Even smiled at him, “Great.” he gave a nod to the boys. “See you tonight.” he winked at Isak and then walked away from them.

Magnus blinked, mouth wide. “Did we just get like, officially invited to a frat party? By the guy who owns it?”

“No more sneaking in!” Mahdi leaned over and high-fived Magnus. 

Jonas exhales heavily, “We got in anyways no matter what.” he smiles tightly.

Magnus and Mahdi can tell somethings off. Jonas isn’t usually tense and is typically thrilled to go have fun with his friends. Magnus looks at Isak and sees he’s exactly the same way.

“What’d you do.” Mahdi says rather than asking.

Isak looks at him, taken back, “What do you mean what did I do?”

“One of you obviously did something and it involves Even.” Mahdi rolls his eyes. “You’re the only one at this table who talks to him.”

Magnus smiled softly, “You’ve talked to us before.” he leans on his hand. “We’re not gonna judge you as long as you didn't kill someone.”

Isak laughs at that. He looks at Jonas and Jonas lifts a hand, telling him basically that it’s up to him. Isak takes a deep breath. Magnus was right. He’s talked to them before and he knows they don’t care.

“I might...” Isak looks between Mahdi and Magnus. Not wanting to keep his gaze on either one for too long. “I might have feelings for Even.”

They digest what Isak said for a second. They look at each other, then at Jonas, and back at Isak. Their silence makes him feel uneasy. Magnus usually would open his mouth and say something but he didn't. Isak wanted to get up and run away for as long as it took. 

Mahdi's brow furrows down, “It would make sense.”

Isak feels more confused than he did before.

“Yeah, how he always points you out,” Magnus interjects. He lets out a high laugh, “Or! Or when he always picks you up super late.” he pops a grape into his mouth. “It’s like he takes you on dates and shit.”

Isak scoffed, “What did I tell you about it being a nice gesture?”

Mahdi laughs, “One time, sure, but if he’s asking you out a lot then...” he smirks. “Maybe it’s mutual.”

Neither one obviously was paying attention to the last party. If they had, they wouldn't even be questioning him or acting like everything's a secret. 

“I’m just worried.” Isak says.

Magnus makes a face, “How? He seems into you and if he’s a douche then, well, fuck him.”

Mahdi nods in agreement, “If he didn’t want to be around you, he would’ve made it really obvious by now.”

Isak smiles to himself. He was thankful that his friends didn’t question him or his feelings. No matter how much they knew they just wanted Isak to be safe. They pushed his feelings into being positive and neither one of them thought the negative outcome was all there was. Thinking back on it, why was he so scared in the first place? One goes down, the others will too or help them back up. 

They went back to watching everyone practice on the field like the conversation didn’t happen. Magnus went on and on about some girl he found beautiful but no one seemed to pay attention. A particular part got everyone's attention and Isak laughed while making a typical snarky remark that made everyone laugh at Magnus’ shame. They were wonderful people. So utterly wonderful.

\-----

Magnus and Isak picked up Jonas and Mahdi from their dorm, and they were off. Other students were heading in the same direction as them so it was obvious they were all going to the same party. They walked into the familiar fraternity and knew what they were doing from the start. They took the open couch before anyone else could once they grabbed their drinks.

Isak looked around and Even wasn’t to be seen. It was his party and he invited them, so Isak expected he’d at least talk to them. Sonja wasn’t around either or anyone else he knew besides his friends next to him. He frowned and took another sip from the cup. They stayed where they were pretty much the entire party. Only getting up to get more drinks and at some point, Jonas took the whole bottle to spare them the possible drunk spills. 

Isak was drunk. He was aware of that from the way he didn’t want to sit there anymore. Keeping to his friends was what he felt comfortable with when no one he knew was around. But he wanted to find Even and talk to him.

Isak stood up, wobbling on his feet. Jonas reached out quickly to make sure he didn’t fall. The guys laughed at him and Isak swatted Jonas’ hands away. He started walking away and the guys already made their assumptions. They let out a howl directed at Isak. Magnus cheered encouragingly and Isak flipped him off with a hand behind himself. 

Finally gaining proper balance, he walked through the crowd. When he couldn’t find Even he stopped at the staircase. He smiled and he dragged himself up the steps. There weren't many people upstairs which made it easier for Isak to find him. He landed against Even’s bedroom door. Perfect. 

Right as he went to open it, Even was on the other side. Isak almost fell on him since the door was his main support. Even blinked, surprised, “Hey,”

Isak’s closed mouth smile turned into a beaming one, “Hey,” he slurred.

Even laughed, “How much did you drink? You can barely stand up straight right now.”

“Not too much.” 

He was wearing his varsity jacket, but only with a tight, white shirt underneath. It really accentuated his chest. Isak couldn’t help but look him up and down, unapologetically.

“I was gonna go head down there, but since you look ready to either throw up or pass out,” he sighed. “I can’t.”

Isak swayed forward and gripped onto the material of his jacket and giggled, “Fuck, Even.”

Even laughed, “Okay, you’re so fucked up right now.”

“Am I really?” Isak asked, voice going higher.

Even grabbed onto Isak’s sides, “Yes, you are and I’m gonna take care of you.”

“Ooo,” Isak giggled. “That sounds fun!”

Even rolled his eyes and walked with his grip firm till he could sit Isak down on his bed. Even bent down to take off Isak’s shoes when Isak fell back against the bed, bouncing slightly. He stared up at the ceiling when he smiled. Even looked up for a brief moment and his eyes were wide. Isak started to tug off his shirt. 

“Whoa, whoa,” Even shot up and tugged the shirt back down. “Not happening - let’s just relax, okay?”

Isak whined and Even rolled his eyes. He put his arms under Isak’s and lifted him to move him. “I can move, you just need to tell me what to do.” Isak muttered.

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

“Maybe I like you handling me.” Isak laughed. 

Even shook his head, ignoring Isak’s drunk comments, “Just stay here.” he moved Isak onto his side. “I’ll be right back.” he put the spare blanket on the edge of the bed over Isak. 

Isak groans when he starts walking away, “Don’t leave.”

“I need to make sure you’re fine-”

“Then you’ll stay!”

“After I grab some things to help with this, then I’ll stay. Okay?” he held onto the door handle until Isak gave him an answer. He got a nod instead and that was enough.

Even pushes past the crowd, shrugging off hands that reached out to him. Everyone talking into his ear way too loud for his liking. He gave awkward smiles as he escaped. He made his way to the less crowded kitchen, hoping to find something for Isak.

He opens the cabinet under the sink and pulled a plastic bucket out. He set it on the counter and turned around, opening the fridge, grabbing a water bottle. When he shut the door, his roommate was on the other side. He wasn’t phased by his friend popping up out of nowhere. He just looked at him for a second, then went back over to the counter. 

“Why do you need that shit?”

Even put the bottle inside the bucket after he opened it for future use and sighed, “Someone needs it.”

Elias folded his arms. He looked at Even’s back as he thought of what to say. “Is it for the kid?”

Even glances down at the bucket, then forward, and finally turns around. “Which kid?” He leans against the counter, arms behind himself.

“The one who I saw come out of your room a few parties ago. He was helping you out so this must be some sort of,” Elias released one of his hands as he gestured while he spoke. “You doing the same shit. Like a gift.”

Even laughed, “A gift? Okay.”

“You know what I meant!” Elias snapped his fingers. “A solid! You’re doing him a solid.”

Even shrugged, “He came up to my room on his own and he was a mess, so...”

Elias let out a solid loud laugh, “And you’re not?”

“Actually,” Even grabbed the bucket in both his hands. “I’m not on anything.” he smirked.

“Well then get to it, Mr. Suave.” Elias smiled. “You should be on Grey’s Anatomy. You fit the heartthrob category. Some Derek Shepherd shit.”

Even groans, annoyed, “Everyone keeps calling me a heartthrob!”

“It’s cause you are, man!”

Even shook his head and Elias put an arm across his shoulders. Elias navigated with him up until they got to the stairs. Even was thankful because everyone would try and talk to Elias rather than himself. When they were in the clear, he gave Even a pat on the back and wished him luck. Then Elias was back into the party scene and Even ran up the stairs to his room.

He set the bucket down right next to the bed on the floor and the bottle of water on the nightstand. He pulled open the drawer and shuffled through the contents before pulling out a bottle of painkillers. He popped it open and poured a few out on the table then put the container back in. 

Isak smiled at him lazily. “You’re very nice, why aren’t you like this more often?”

Even didn’t know how to respond to that properly. So instead he smiled and put a hand through Isak’s hair, keeping the curls out of his face. “Try and sleep now.” 

Isak hummed and closed his eyes, finally keeping quiet. Even stayed there and watched him till he noticed he was asleep. He sat down and put his head in his hands. The bass booming was the only thing in addition to his own thoughts. He hated doing what he did. Getting shitfaced was his choice and he knew from day one it bothered Isak. It bothered other friends but no one said something like Isak did. Even knew he wasn't as bad as he was with it. How Isak looked at him two parties ago, he knew. Ever since that he toned it all down. He drank two at most and only smoked.It was in Isak’s favor primarily, but it helped himself out. 

He helped himself out through Isak. Isak, despite not caring for him till recently, was the only one who convinced him to do it. The rude remarks and the constant telling him how much of an asshole he was being - it made him aware. That was all he needed when he wanted to clear his head. Isak. He wasn’t going to use Isak for that. He genuinely loved everything Isak did. But he was the only thing that helped him not do something shitty. 

\-----

Isak opened his eyes and jolted awake fully when he realized he wasn’t in his own bed. He turned over from the wall and saw Even, sleeping in a chair in the corner of the room. His arms were crossed and his legs were curled up towards himself. Isak frowned and stood up, a hand shooting to his head as he got a sudden wave of pounding in his head. He wasn’t remotely surprised when he saw Even already prepared for that.

He was still in last nights outfit which made it way easier to leave. Isak took the medication quickly and grabbed his shoes. He went to open the door when he stood and turned around. Seeing Even laying there made him feel off. He stepped back over to the bed and tugged the blanket off, walked over, and gently placed it over Even. Even shifted slightly but didn’t wake.

Isak quietly went out the door and shut it gently behind himself. Luckily none of the other guys in the house were awake yet. He tiptoed down the stairs and froze at the sight of the house. It was completely trashed from the party and Isak winced at the sight. Seeing how long it must take for them to clean up and then it get trashed the same way a few days later. Isak didn’t understand why they’d want to do that and waste their own time.

When he realized he’d been standing there for too long, he stepped over the mess on the floor and left the house. He never came here when it was the morning and being able to see its surroundings was different. The lawn even had crap thrown all over it. Isak sighed and walked down the pathway with his shoes held up with two fingers and a pounding headache. The oncoming bright sun wasn’t helping his headache at all.

Isak reached the campus and walked in the direction of his dorm. He slowed down his walking when he took in everyone around him. There were some students heading to early classes while the others walking around looked like they were in the same state as he was. And the worst of it was Isak realized why. He groaned and practically sprinted back to his dorm. 

He unlocked the door to his dorm and Magnus was wide awake. Isak sighed, “Don’t say anything stupid.”

Magnus looked up from his computer and turned around, “Oh, shit, you’re back!” he pulled his earbuds out. “So how was he?”

Isak slapped his hand against his forehead, “Nothing happened and I wouldn't want that in the first place.”

“What?!” Magnus turned the chair around to focus fully on Isak. “Then why were you there the whole night? I thought you liked him?”

“Because I was so out of it, he kinda just,” Isak gestured to his own bed. “Put me to bed.” Magnus gave him a look of worry. Isak groaned, “No, okay, he was literally across the room and gave me Advil and shit.”

Magnus let out a breath and relaxed in the chair, “Man, you scared me with that one!”

Isak rolled his eyes and put his things down and dropped down onto his own bed. “But just because I like him doesn’t mean I’m gonna sleep with him like it’s all I want out of it.” Isak shivers slightly, “I felt so weird, dude.”

“Why?”

“Because I was literally doing that one night stand walk you see in movies. Shoes in my hand, looking like a hot mess.”

Magnus laughed, “But you didn’t sleep together.”

“Yeah, it’s just when I was walking here I look around all these people just looked like me but they all were coming out of different dorms so I just knew.”

Magnus shook his head and chuckled. He put his earbud back in and turned back to his computer, resuming whatever he was doing before. Isak shifted to a more comfortable position. He closed his eyes and after a few minutes started to drift off. Waking him again, a text notification rung loudly. He groaned in annoyance at the interruption. Isak looked at his phone and cursed under his breath, completely ignoring whoever texted him. He completely forgot his class got moved to an earlier time. He grabbed his computer and notebook and bolted out the door. 

When Isak walked up the stairs he dragged himself practically at this point to his class. He was so tired from the night before it was almost a pain to walk this long. Someone grabbed his arm and twisted him around and Isak’s back hit the wall hard. He was ready to punch whoever it was but then he realized it was Even. He stood in front of Isak, closing him in. Isak swallowed hard and his eyes were wide. He completely forgot Even had most of his classes during the mornings. It felt like God was striking him from above. How did Even manage to get up that fast?

Even tilted his head, “What happened to you?” his hair wasn’t kept as neat as usual. Pieces of it curled forward over his forehead and was wild at the sides.

“What do you mean?” Isak asked, still staring in surprise.

Even stood back, giving Isak more room, “I woke up and you were gone.”

Isak cleared his throat, “Oh yeah I-” he looked down at their feet and then back up. “I had to get back to my dorm. Magnus was worried about me.”

Even nodded, “You’re okay, though? You were off it last night.”

“I’m fine just,” he gestured over his shoulder and laughed nervously. “Gotta get to class.”

“Yeah, me too.” Even swallowed, eyes darting all over Isak’s face. He backed up and rushed down the steps.

Isak took a second to catch his breath. He didn’t care if he was late to class or not. He couldn’t even think properly. Even didn’t make sense at all. Isak wanted to put up with the way he acted but he couldn’t anymore. He couldn’t handle being treated like he’s an angel on a cloud in the sky and then when they go to the same party he’s just a regular first year. It felt like a game Isak was involved in where he had to play his cards right to get the Even he wanted.

It made him confused and agitated. He wanted to say something but he knew it wouldn’t end well unless Even was in the best mood possible. He hated how much he enjoyed Even no matter if he ignored him or treated him differently. He knew Jonas was right, it was unhealthy. But he couldn’t let go of any part of Even.

\-----

Isak knocked on the door and waited a few seconds. It swung open and Eva smiles, “Isak!” she practically attacked him with a hug. He laughed into it and waved to the rest of the girls in the dorm.

He loved the girls dearly, but he rarely hung out with them. They were funny and never caused him any form of stress ever. All they did was talk about whatever and their gossip was so minimal it wouldn't hurt anyone. They loved him just as much and he needed them more than ever. 

They were sitting on the ground together. Nail polish next to them and chips tossed in the middle. Eva skipped back over and sat down next to Noora. Isak smiled at the girls and sat down next to Sana, right across from Eva.

“We haven’t gone to a party lately.” Chris says, picking up their conversation like usual.

Vilde pipes up,“Because we don’t like going to them anymore!”

“Why don't you throw one here?” Isak suggests, leaning over to grab a handful of chips.

“Dorm parties are hard.” Noora says. “Since it’s right on campus, the security is tougher.”

Isak covers his mouth when he speaks, “Then don’t make it too big.”

“We could just try a different frat or sorority.” Eva says. Her tongue sticks out slightly as she concentrates on painting her nails. 

“Frat guys suck, though.” Noora groaned.

Isak laughs, “Just ignore them.” Chris smiles at him, obviously hinting at their own conversations. 

Sana raises her eyebrows at him, “You go all the time, right?”

“Yeah and it’s not bad.” he smirks at her. She smirks back and then looks down at Eva’s work, handing her a q-tip. 

Vilde frowns, “I thought you hated them, Isak? Or we all did?”

“They all tend to be cocky assholes,” Eva stops what she’s doing and looks up at the group. “but I’ve met a few who weren't bad at all.”

Noora grumbles, “But who wants to hang out with a bunch of guys who are already narcissistic? They’re worse as the night goes on.”

“You can’t help if some have egos. Others just like to have fun and a person is always going to be different. But I think as long as they’re nice when they are, it should be fine.”

“What, do you wanna date one?” Chris joked.

“They’re hot, you can’t blame me!” Eva laughed.

Isak tapped his finger against his knee, “What about Jonas?”

“What about him?” Eva frowns.

“You both like to party, but what if something happens?”

Eva nods softly, “You know how we both are, it’s not the easiest thing. I think once we aren't in school or we really get over our party phase, we can do it.”

“You can’t do it now?”

“We could. We just don’t choose to care so much. I love Jonas with all my heart, I always will, but if he wants to party, so be it! I wanna party too and I’m not letting him stop me.”

Isak tilted his head, “So you're saying if he's in college he can't be trusted to date? Neither you?”

“I’m saying, we want each other to do what we want without feeling like we're dragging the other down. Of course, if we were so dead serious on one another the rules would be the same just changed up a little.”

“How would they change?” Isak asked, curiously.

Eva shrugged, “We’d just get everything from each other. You don't need to do what we do right now if you're like that. Neither one of us would need to be around anyone else hammered besides our friends.”

Vilde smiles, “So if you're drunk in love you don't need to party?”

“Bingo.” Eva pointed to Vilde.

Sana glanced at Isak, then looked at Eva. “What would happen if one of you got too into whatever was being thrown around at the party?”

“Well, of course, we make sure we’re both okay but if Jonas wants to get trashed or I do, we don’t care. If I hook up with someone or he does then it’s a problem.”

Isak says, a little too quickly, “What if Jonas acted like an ass at a party?”

Eva raised an eyebrow, “You're asking a lot of questions. You gonna run and tell Jonas or something?” she chuckled.

“No, just curious.” Isak said.

“If he was being a dick I’d be pissed, but I know Jonas. We all know how he is when he’s not like that, so why would it matter?” she shrugged and went back to painting her toes. “As long as he’s not saying things he means or tries to do something I’m fine.”

The topic changed to shows they all had been binging lately. Isak was listening - sorta. What Eva said struck him. That was the thing with the girls. He didn't need to tell them anything and just their general conversations made their way into his own personal issues.

She was right, though. Isak saw how whenever they would party together Jonas would let Eva do whatever and go wherever. Same applied for Eva to Jonas. They loved each other's presence but never were bothered with what they did. All they cared about was if they were okay. That after their partying they were not sick, just hungover the next day. If they said things they didn't mean they knew it was nothing. Because Jonas is a great person and so is Eva.

Even is a great person. He defines great in Isak’s head, but Isak is holding onto someone that’s not his. He wants Even with him at those parties. Wants to get drunk off the fact he’s right there. But Even and Isak run off at every party and they only ask how the other is if they have a drunken run-in.

He hates it. He really does.

\-----

Isak, as per usual, was cooped up in his dorm with Magnus studying. Magnus was doing God knows what on his laptop, and Isak was reviewing the same notes for class for the hundredth time. Just as Magnus was about to leave to go get something, a rapid knock comes from the door. Isak hops up from his bed, beating him to it, and opens the door.

Even was standing there, hair perfectly swooped up. He had a grey hoodie on and a thin maroon shirt that hung just a little under his collarbones. He was carrying a plastic bag from his elbow.

He had his hands on either side of the doorway and smiled down at Isak, “I wanna take you out.”

“Out?”

“Just trust me.”

Isak looked over his shoulder at Magnus, and unlike last time, Magnus was staring at Even. Even smiled at Magnus and waved. Magnus lifted a hand and swallowed hard, then looked back down at his computer. 

Isak nodded, “Okay.” 

The scene was too familiar for Isak, even for Magnus. When he turned around to shut the door, he looked at Magnus. They shared a knowing look and smirked at each other.

Even led them farther from the campus. The walk was silent, no parties seemed to have been happening near them. It was nice, serene.

They were in the middle of the street and Even opened the bag, “Choose.” he smiled.

Isak looked in curiously and laughed when he saw the contents. There were small cartons of milk, eggs, toilet paper, and silly string.

“What are you, twelve?” 

Even laughed, “No, thirteen.” he set the bag down in the street and squatted down. “Still, choose.”

“The eggs seem satisfying.” Isak smiled. He squatted down across from Even. “Who are we fucking with?”

“Anyone you want.” He looked up, carton in his hand.

Isak raised an eyebrow, “I don’t know anyone I’d wanna egg here.”

“Oh, come on,” Even rolled his eyes.

“Really!”

Even shook his head, “Fine, I’ll pick.” they sat there a little as he thought. He looked around and stood up finally. Isak was thanking whoever above since his legs started to hurt. “I know.” he started walking and Isak grabbed the bag quickly.

“Who?”

Even stopped and took the bag from Isak, “No evidence.” he pointed a finger and tossed it into the nearest trashcan. “There’s a group of guys I really can’t stand. They live not too far from here and if anyone deserved it, it’d be them.” they continued to walk quickly down the sidewalk, making sure they weren’t too loud.

“What if we get caught?” Isak asks in a harsh whisper.

“Are you my ride or die?” 

Isak stopped walking, “What?”

Even smiled, “Are you my ride or die?” 

Isak looked at Even for a second. He could get lost in that smile. Those eyes and how they pulled you in. He could get lost in everything about Even. But he couldn't right now. He shrugged, “I guess I am now.”

Even took big steps forward and placed his hands on either side of Isak’s face. He looked at him right in the eyes as he spoke, “You just need to let this happen. Just relax because right now we’re gonna act like none of this has a consequence.”

Isak laughed, “I’m not nervous.”

“Then enjoy what we’re going to do.” Even winked. 

Even grabbed his hand and they ran to wherever Even was taking them. They stopped in front of a house near the end of the street. The greek symbols on the front signifying it was a fraternity or sorority. Even popped open the carton and pushed it towards Isak. They each grabbed one and looked at each other with smiles. 

Isak let out a laugh of satisfaction when they threw them at the walls of the house. The way they broke on impact released any form of stress or tension Isak had. They continued to grab and throw. Even looked down at Isak each time, wanting to see how happy he looked.

Just as they were about to throw more the lights inside turned on and someone yelled from the inside. They pulled the curtains back and panic came over the two.

“Oh, shit!” Even laughed and started running, tossing the carton into the same trashcan as he runs by.

Isak tries to keep up with him but it becomes impossible. Even’s long legs taking him farther and faster than Isak’s. They get back onto campus and Isak stops, out of breath. He bends over with his hands on his knees and Even does the same. He looks up and Even starts laughing again.

“That was fucking scary!” Isak laughed.

Even smiled, “But it was fun, wasn’t it?”

Isak rolled his eyes, “Very fun.”

“Do you think he saw us?” Even asked as he stood up properly.

“I think it was too dark.” Isak pushed a hand through his hair.

Even held up his hand and Isak smirked, high-fiving him. He pulled out his phone and nodded, “Not too late.” he smiled. “Wanna go back to mine?”

Isak felt his face heat up. “That’s fine.” he said, nodding quickly.

Still catching their respective breaths, the pair walks towards Even’s fraternity. It wasn’t too far away, but far enough for Isak to enjoy the comfortable silence between them. No need to talk.

Even unlocks the door and they step inside. Isak was amazed at the home just like he was the time he woke up here. The only difference was this time the house was cleaner and that made him get even more confused. He saw the room like the way the guys and Even saw it. Rather than just a party spot.

“My brother!” called out someone from the threshold to the living room. He had a glass of something in his hands held high. 

Even laughed and opened his arms, “Yes?”

“Who is it that you bring into our home?” the guy says, a weak attempt at a shrill English accent.

“This is Isak.” Even sticks his hand out towards Isak and Isak steps closer. He smiles nervously and waves.

“Oh, shit!” another voice called. Then there were running footsteps and another guy appeared. “Now it’s a proper meeting!” he laughed.

Isak froze at the sight of him. He stepped forward and held out a hand. Isak recognized him as the same guy who saw him coming out of Even’s room. Isak took it, expecting a shake, but he was pulled into a quick hug. The pats on his back were hard. 

“This is Elias, and that’s Mikael.” Even pointed to his roommates.

Isak smiled, “It’s nice meeting you.”

“Where were you, man?” Mikael asked, taking a sip from his drink.

“Egging houses.”

“Wait, who egged houses?” another roommate walked in. 

Mikael pointed to the newcomer, “This is Yousef.” he pointed to Isak. “This is Isak.”

Yousef smiled and raised a hand, “Hey, man.” he raised an eyebrow at Even. “Who’d you get this time?”

Isak couldn't believe what he was seeing. They didn't care who Isak was. They didn't ask why he was there or why he was with Even. They were talking to him and around him like they would on a daily basis. It was completely off to the stereotype they’re given at parties. 

“Thomas.”

The three guys laughed in unison. They high-fived Even and he held his arms up with a smug look. 

“Where’s Adam and Mutta?” Even asked.

Mikael shook his head, “Upstairs sleeping like a bunch of party poopers.”

Elias made a face, “They have exams tomorrow.”

“Eh, still.” Mikael smiled. 

Even put a hand on Isak’s shoulder. He said goodnight to his roommates and they did the same; including saying goodnight to Isak as well. They walked up the stairs till they got to Even’s room and Isak sat down in the chair.

“They’re sweet.” Isak said softly.

Even smiled, “I’m glad you like them.” he shut the door behind himself. “They can get annoying, though.” 

Isak smirked, “Just as annoying as you?”

“I wanna play something for you.” he smiled, ignoring the remark. He walks over to the edge of his bed and picks up the guitar that was propped up by the stand. 

Isak groaned, “Guitar too? See that’s the go-to instrument used in romance movies.”

Even laughed, “Okay, I can agree with that one.” 

Isak watched him closely and moved in the chair to get comfortable. He took in the sight and felt like he was in a cliche romance movie already.

“Elias called me a heartthrob.” Even says as he sits down on his bed.

Isak laughed, “See I told you! I'm not the only one.”

“You both are bullies.” Even laughs along. He sets the guitar over his hiked up leg to get into position. He strums the guitar and that makes Isak groan. Even bites back and smile and clears his throat. He concentrates on the neck and placement of his fingers.

Even looks good. So fucking good. The way his hair fell in front of his face as it came undone from running around. The already flattering shirt hung open for Isak’s eyes to travel all over his chest. 

“Do you think I can do a better performance here than the piano?” Even asked.

Isak smiled and shrugged, “Let’s see.”

Then he started singing and Isak was gone after that. Somehow more than the last time. He knew what an effect this had on himself and yet he let Even do it every time. 

“Dream, dream, dream, when I want you in my arms…” He sang softly.

Isak already felt his heart grow at the sound.

“When I want you and all your charms…” Even smiled as he sang. 

He continued through the verse but he looked up at Isak the pre-chorus. Those blue eyes that Isak loved were staring right at him. “I can make you mine, taste your lips of wine anytime night or day,” 

He cut the song short, ending it after the first chorus. Isak didn’t notice how hard he was breathing till the music stopped. Even’s guitar rang out as they stared at each other. Both of them jumped at the sound of Isak’s alarm going off on his phone.

“Shit, sorry-” Isak pulled his phone out and stopped the alarm. “I gotta go, I’m sorry.” he frowned. 

He wanted to stay longer and let Even sing to him till he fell asleep, but he had to keep himself focused. He couldn't let himself be swayed so easily. The tension already was too much and he had a love hate relationship with it.

“Was that your alarm for bedtime?” Even teased.

Isak didn't know how Even could joke immediately after that. He was better at hiding it than Isak was. He probably looked like a teenager who can’t hide their crush compared to Even.

Isak rolled his eyes, “Yes, happy?”

Even laughed, “Very.” he set the instrument down and stood up. “Young kids need their sleep.”

“Thanks, mom.” Isak laughed as they walked down the stairs. 

Even put a hand on his back and gently let him out the door, “No problem.” 

They smiled at each other for a minute. Isak wanted to kiss him or just hug him or touch Even. Reading through Even’s eyes it seemed mutual. But that couldn’t happen because luck isn’t the kindest. Their shared silent was broken by one of the guys yelling in the background for Even.

“I’ll see you around.” Isak said.

“See you,” Even waved and watched Isak walk away, then shut the door.

Once Isak knew he was in the clear he ran and skipped to his dorm. In that moment nothing negative that had ever happened mattered. All of what he thought before and the conversation with Jonas didn't matter either. He let it all go for now. The happiness he felt was right around the corner and he finally got it. That feeling hadn’t been around in forever and now he finally felt love. All of it.

He screamed happily and didn’t care about what anyone would see or complain. He had his arms wide and twirled around on his feet across the courtyard. He stopped to calm down before he walked into the dormitory hallway.

He unlocked the door and opened it slowly, trying to prevent creaking. Magnus was in a dead sleep. Isak knew because he was sprawled, mouth wide open. Surprisingly he cleaned up his things, leaving Isak room if he came back and wanted to work. The gesture was nice but Isak didn’t want to do anything but scream.

Isak bit his lip to control his smile. The door clicked softly as he shut and locked it. He slipped into comfortable clothes and laid there in bed. Staring at the ceiling, smiling. He turned over and closed his eyes.

\-----

Isak leaned against the wall and kept checking the time. He kept his attention on the other people walking by. Interesting himself on where they might be going rather than watching the clock. He was relieved when the classroom door next to him finally opened. He watched closely at the crowd of students coming out of it. Then when he found who he was looking for, he reached over and grabbed onto his arm. 

Even smiles, “Hey.” he adjusts the folder in his hand. “What’s up?” he asks as they step out of the way of the door.

“I wanted to know if you wanna hang out at my place?” Isak smirked nervously. “Magnus is gone the whole day, Jonas is out of town, and Mahdi is studying like it’s his mission.”

Even teased, “So I’m the last choice?”

Isak rolled his eyes, “First, if it makes you feel good.”

Even smirked, “I’d love to then.”

The duo walks down the hallway to the exit doors, bumping shoulders with each other the entire way. Even fiddles with his papers, and Isak pipes up, “How was class?”

“What a good conversation starter, huh?” Even chuckles deeply, “It was decent. Had to do a five-paragraph essay critiquing a black and white film.”

Isak rolls his eyes, “Let me guess, took you fifteen minutes?”

Even shrugs his shoulders with a guilty look on his face, “Caught me. I've seen the movie a million times before, it was pretty easy.”

They both laugh, continuing on their commute to Isak’s dorm, for once not walking in the dead of night. The hustle and bustle of the starting day was a good change from the parties. 

Even follows closely behind Isak as they run up the stairs. He pulls his keyring out, and they stroll into the dorm. They sat down on the floor, whether it was they wanted to be closer or it just felt right is beyond either one of them.

Isak leaned against his own bed, Even across from him leaning against Magnus’. They talked about anything and it didn't matter. Telling Even to play guitar with Jonas sometime. How their grades were, other friends, family. Spending their free time together getting to know every basic. 

After their laughter died down from a story Even told about something that happened at the fraternity once, they sat there. Isak looked at the messages on his phone from Eva when he felt eyes on him. The intensity of Even’s stare could burn right through him. Isak wasn’t looking at anything at his phone at this point. He looked up and locked eyes with Even. 

Even swallowed hard and Isak let out a shaky breath. The tension made Isak want to crawl out of his skin. Then in a quick motion, Even sat up on his knees and leaned forward. Isak met him halfway, doing the same. Their lips connected quickly. Almost too quickly for either one of their likings. Isak’s hands went to his biceps and gripped tightly. Even’s hands framed his face and one trailed down to the side of his neck.

The kiss felt long overdue, and it was. Something they both needed ever since they became closer. The constant eagerness to see one another. Admitting to that or not wasn't important for now. Isak exhaled through his nose in relief and he smiled against Even's lips. Even pulled back and looked at Isak’s face and smiled. He laughed happily and Isak did the same. 

They kissed again, calmer this time. Really taking in the moment unlike the first. They break apart, taking in air. 

“I need you to promise me something,” Isak said. His words came out breathless. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to Even’s. 

“Of course.” he whispered

“You can’t keep doing this shit.” Isak opened his eyes and swallowed hard. His hands coming up to mimic Even’s on his face. “This inconsistency. Being a dick to me then being nice or coming to my dorm and serenading me. You can’t do that.”

“I won’t,” Even said. “I won’t.” he repeated.

“Please,” Isak let out a heavy breath. “Please don’t just say that.”

Even placed his hand on the back of Isak’s neck. He gripped firmly, “I mean it.” he said. He kissed Isak again and kept his lips against Isak’s for a second before pulling back.

Isak looked him in the eyes as they pulled away. Then he pulled Even into a hug. Locking his arms tightly around his neck. Even smiled against his neck and kissed him softly there. They stayed like that. Kneeled on the ground of Isak’s dorm. Isak smiled to himself and squeezed tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song even sings to him is called all i have to do is dream by the everly brothers!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this took so long, school is a pain in the arse! but i hope you like the chapter and that the wait was worth it in the end! 
> 
> kudos and nice comments as always, are appreciated <3

The practical thing to do was to tell everyone; keep it out in the open for them all to see. Neither Isak or Even followed on that.There were months of sneaking too tight, lingering hugs past friends who were glued to their sides. 

Movie and show binging that would only come off as normal best friends bonding (despite the obvious prying off of each other when someone would walk in). Neither of them could be together for too long or too many times in a day or week. 

Isak didn’t even hang out with his own friends for too long; focusing on work and school was mostly the reason. Sometimes being around the same people for too long could get tiring. The only way to be alone with Even and have everyone around and it not be in question were long study sessions that no one could interrupt.

Even had always shown how flirtatious he could be and everyone expected his personality to be that way. His choice of words and sly movements were seen as typical. No one would think twice about what he did or said to Isak, as long as Isak didn’t initiate back strong enough for someone like Jonas to notice.

But anything could've slipped within those months of Isak and Even’s private relationship. Someone seeing them behind buildings, grabbing the wrong articles of clothing that only close friends would recognize, hickies being a centimeter too high or low. It was risky and eventually, it had to come out.

Sana and Chris were the first people to know. When Isak kissed Even purposely in front of them, they didn’t seem _that_ surprised. They knew the situation well and the concern for Isak would always be on their minds, but if he was happy they’d keep their opinion to themselves.

The guys, on the other hand, could’ve seen it a mile away - Magnus especially. Mahdi and Jonas congratulated Isak and Magnus tried to figure out a way for it to benefit all of them somehow.

“I need to visit a friend of mine.” Isak said, his words slightly muffled. "I wanted to bring you with me over there."

Isak and Even stayed in bed almost all day since Even came out of his last class. Isak had his head resting on Even’s chest, drifting in and out of sleep to the calmness of his breathing. Their legs were tangled together with the sheets. Even’s arm was wrapped around Isak and he scratched softly at the nape of his neck.

Even smiled at him, “They want to make sure I’m treating you right?”

“He just wants to see me since it’s been a long time and now that he knows I’m in a relationship.”

“Maybe that too.” Even ruffled Isak’s hair, then kept his hand in the curls. He twirled them around a finger. “I love meeting any of your friends that I don’t already know.” he kissed Isak’s forehead. “When did he want us over?”

“He said soon as possible.”

“We could go today.” Even suggested. “Not like we have anything better to do.”

Isak nodded and scooted up closer, “I almost wanna tell you what he said about you, but that’d make your ego get too big.”

Even laughed, “Oh, come on,”

Isak sighed with a smirk, giving in immediately, “He called you a work of art.” 

“And you don’t think I am?”

Isak rolled his eyes, “Even.”

“What!” Even placed his hand over his heart. “I am!”

“Exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” Isak pushed himself off his elbows to get up when Even grabbed him and pulled him back down against him.

“I’m kidding.” he kissed Isak’s cheek. “You seem more of an art piece than me.”

Isak blushed and sat up on his knees properly on the bed. “We should get going soon.” he trailed a finger up and down Even’s leg. “He doesn’t like it when I’m late.” his nose scrunches up. “Says I’m lazy.”

Even sat up and cupped Isak’s cheek. He rubbed his thumb over his cheekbone and Isak leaned into the touch. Even moved in and Isak tilted his chin up, expectantly.

“You are.” Even said, ruining the moment.

Isak rolled his eyes with a scoff and shoved Even away, making him laugh loudly. Even stood up and slid his arms around Isak’s waist and pulled him close to himself. Isak’s attempts to escape his grip only made Even laugh harder. Isak eventually gave up and let Even hold him to his chest. They kissed until Isak had to pull himself away or they would never leave the dorm after it.

*

When they walked out into the halls of the dormitory, Even intertwined their fingers and Isak smiled happily. He led the way and he looked up at Even. His blue was full of happiness, and Isak couldn't help but grin. They bumped shoulders playfully and Even kissed Isak’s cheek.

Even was constantly looked by practically everyone on campus. Whether that bothered him or it was so normal he never cared to notice. Now Isak was dating that person when he himself isn’t in that light. He isn’t the president of a fraternity where every girl and guy wants to be in his bed. 

Isak had to get used to being eyed up and down. But in moments like this or when Even makes him laugh or hugs him it doesn't matter. Even was able to push him gratefully out of his bubble. The pair were unapologetic, neither one of them was uncomfortable with each other. It was something that a few months ago would have his friends confused, even himself.

It wasn’t like Even was meeting his family. It was just Eskild and Linn and still, he felt nervous. Even knew his other friends already because of the parties but Eskild and Linn were important to Isak. They were like a second family to him and they acted like it.

The door opened after a few knocks and they were greeted with the same enthusiasm Isak was met with every day. Eskild hugged Isak tightly and Isak hugged just as strong back. He loved Eskild with every bit of his being. Adored him even if he got too much and it was like that vice versa.

Eskild pulled back, hands still on Isak’s shoulders, when he looked at Even. His jaw opened slightly and Isak could feel his face going red already. Eskild moved past Isak and held out a hand for Even to shake.

“I can finally get a good look at you and not just a quick look in the hallway.” Eskild placed his hands on his hips and smiled at Even. “Now I get why Isak and everyone else loves you.”

Isak squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. He let out a sigh and Even chuckled, “Thank you.”

Eskild turned around to swing an arm around Isak, “You both are too beautiful it's unfair for the rest of us.” he shook his head and walked into the apartment with Isak still under him and Even following behind.

Linn never was as loud or energetic as Eskild. She kept to herself and was a silent saint for Isak. She listened and cared for Isak as much as Eskild did, but Isak knew never to push her too much. Eskild could handle anything as best as possible, Linn preferred not to.

She was sitting on the couch with her knees close to her chest. The blanket that was kept across the back was tightly wrapped around herself. She was fixated on whatever was on the TV and she didn’t look at the sound of footsteps coming around the corner. 

“Hi, Linn.” Isak said and that got her attention. He walked out from under Eskild’s arm and over to her. Isak only ever hugged Linn after talks or if he thought she needed it best. But every time he looked at her he wanted to be in a constant embrace.

Linn looked at Even strangely but ignored him and brought her attention back to Isak. “You’re doing good?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Isak nodded. He looked at her closely, “How are you? Still working at the office?”

“Yup still stuck with him.” She gestured over to Eskild with a nod of her head.

“But you still love me!” Eskild said, his arm slung over Even casually.

Isak smiled, “Right.” he cleared his throat and stepped aside. “This is Even,” he stuck a hand out. “My boyfriend.”

Linn lifted a hand in a wave and Even did the same. “Nice to meet you, Linn.” 

Linn nodded and looked back over to the TV. Eskild pulled Even along to the kitchen and Isak went after them. Isak took it upon himself to sit down at the small table, already used to the scene. Even sat across from him, looking happy as ever.

“How are you both?” Eskild asked as he opened up the cupboard to pull out cups. 

“Good, college is still college, but,” Isak shrugged. “We try.”

Eskild leaned against the counter, “So you’re the frat guy?” he asked.

“That’s me.” Even smiled at him, hands up.

“We hear about your parties all the time.” he winked and poured the steaming water from the electric kettle into four mugs. 

“Really?” Even asked, intrigued.

“You don’t think everyone, even staff, knows?” Eskild said with a laugh. “Your house always sounds as loud as a concert and there’s so many people talking it isn’t hard to figure out.”

Isak groaned, “I already fed his ego before we got here, don’t make it worse.”

Even laughed, “Oh, come on, it’s nothing that I don’t know.” he rubbed his foot against Isak’s and took a sip from his cup.

Eskild batted his eyelashes, “Do I get an invite?”

“Eskild,” Isak rolled his eyes.

“What!? You can’t blame me for trying! I can’t go out anymore because I’m busy grading horribly written the night before papers!”

Even smiled attractively, “Of course, you can come anytime.”

“You’re gonna try and blend in with teenagers?” Linn said when she walked into the kitchen and over to the stove. 

Even held back his laugh, but Isak’s slipped out without shame.

Eskild gasped, “I’m not that much older! Four years isn't a lot!”

Linn poured herself a cup, "I know but no one sees you unless you're in a classroom. When you hear teacher assistant you think of older people.”

Eskild scoffed, “I’m the life of the party and you know it.”

“Prove it then,” Isak said with a smug smirk.

Eskild raised an eyebrow, “Are you being serious or you’re planning on making me look stupid?”

“Maybe both.” Isak shrugged.

“Let me know and you can see then.” Eskild brought the cup to his lips with both hands. “But I never make a fool of myself.”

“We’ll see about that.”

\-----

The fraternity wasn't as bad as Isak originally thought. He’d grown to like them over the number of hours he’d spent at the house and instead of being annoyed with their humor, he joined in on it. Helped out with any advice they could give, procrastinated as much as possible together, and so much more that Isak wouldn't change.

When Isak turned from a friend to a boyfriend there was the smallest fear that they’d all treat him differently or kiss Even’s ass more than they already did. But without surprise, nothing changed at all. The boys congratulated like everyone else and continued on with how they always went.

“We need to step our game up or something,” Adam said as he looked down at his phone, scrolling through his feed. “I know we wanted to focus on the actual _purpose_ of college but look at this shit.” he stretched his arm out across the dining table to show Mikael his screen.

Mikael’s nose scrunched up, “Who threw that party?”

“Sorority from another uni.” Adam shook his head. “We used to be asked by people to have parties now we’re old news!”

Mikael scoffed, “We can’t be old news already it’s not possible! Now we _have_ to throw a kick-ass party.” he slammed his hand on the table roughly. “Even!” he yelled obnoxiously loud.

Even came around the corner from the kitchen with a frown and a towel in hand. “I can hear you just fine.” he wiped his hands over the material then slung it over his shoulder. “You don’t need my permission for anything. If you care that much about how we’re looked at then, by all means, throw the party yourself.”

“But we always do it the best when you pitch in.”

“Come up with something on your own, I’m not helping.”

Adam groaned, “Come on! You have to help us! We haven't gone to another party either so we can’t scope out our competition properly.”

“It hasn’t been that long.” Even rolled his eyes and folded his arms. He rested his head and shoulder against the wood of the threshold, “I know why you want a party and that’s not happening. This isn't all about competition.”

“Dude, come on!” Mikael begged.

Isak walked out from the kitchen and stood next to Even. “Why is everyone so obsessed with parties? Isn’t there other things you have to do?”

“Yeah, but who wants to work themselves so hard they’re miserable.” Mikael pointed out. “And it’s the only way to get decent fun around here!” he complained.

“And we make friends that way.” Adam added on.

Isak raised an eyebrow at them, “Why won’t you throw a party then? Your parties aren't bad at all, I’m sure it’ll just go back to normal.”

Adam stuck his hand out towards Isak, “See! Your own boyfriend agrees!”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t have one,” Even said with a pointed finger at them. “I just said I don’t want to help if you’re doing what I think you’re doing.”

Mikael scoots up in his chair with his elbows propped up on the table, “Obviously we want to throw a party because it’s been awhile, _but_ , we also have to settle some business. There are these guys and they always come to our parties or friends of ours, and ruin everything.” he explained quickly before Isak could ask.

“Remember Thomas?” Even asked Isak. “The guy who’s house we egged?”

Isak laughed, “Him?”

“Thomas and his shit friends always threaten to fight us or that they’re gonna start shit when we haven’t done anything to them.” Adam rolled his eyes. “Recently we did because, self-defense, but I think it’s just some bad way for them to cope with jealousy.”

Mikael shrugged. “We’re really competitive, we’re good at it, and they hate that.”

Isak blinks in confusion. “The competitive thing makes sense but, uh, the rest isn’t smart at all.” Adam and Mikael give him a look and Isak sighs. “Sure they’re dicks, they seem like it, but why don’t you just kick them out or have someone kick them out if they show up? Why try to fight back?”

Mikael waves a hand, “That’ll lead to more fighting and we’re not backing down.”

Adam nods in agreement, “They always say the wrong thing and make us get all,” he flailed a hand. “Heated and shit. We might as well just get it over with and do it.”

“You’re gonna throw a party _just_ to fight some guys? And then say kicking them out will mean fighting?” Isak said slowly, more for his own sake. He looked at Even, who shook his head. “You don't want them to start anything but then you’re willing to provoke them or let them get _you_ pissed off.”

Adam sighed, “I know it sounds dumb - don’t say anything.” he glared at Even when he sighed dramatically. “But otherwise they won't go near us. They do it at parties because they know it’s an easy way to just blend in and not get caught. Plus if a fight breaks out no one ever stops it, they just cheer it on.”

“Yeah!” Mikael chimed in. He gasped and smacked the table then lifted the same hand to point at Adam, “What if they one day drop something in the house to prank us or something.”

Even muttered something under his breath. “Can we just please be rational for one second.” he said with a pinched expression.

“This is rational!” Mikael and Adam said in a choir.

Isak sighed, “This is all making no sense." he shook his head. "Just kick them out of they walk in. You say they're gonna try and argue, or whatever, but they want to fight you in the first place."

Mikael slowly nodded his head and rolled his lips in. “You have a point."

Isak laughed, "Of course I do."

"We're throwing a party either way," Adam said. "I want to in general so, we'll just ignore them then." he fiddled with the edge of his phone case. "Or try to."

Even laughed, “For once you listen?” Adam and Mikael shrugged. Even shook his head and pushed off the wall. “Well, I’m responsible if something happens in this house so take it outside, okay?” he excuses himself, pulling Isak along with him, back into the kitchen.

Isak hopped up onto the kitchen counter. He gripped onto the edge to hold himself up and leaned forward, watching Even. Even took the plates from the table and placed the spices on top and handed it over to Isak. Isak shifted carefully to open the cabinet behind himself and placed them where they were before. Even took the hand towel off his shoulder and did a final wipe across the marble.

“Do they only talk about that shit?” Isak asked.

Even sighed, “Yup,” he tossed the towel onto the countertop. “And I don't take part in it anymore.”

The mess Mikael and Adam made was cleaned up, finally. They decided while making lunch with Isak and Even, to do it their own way. Which, in their minds, meant to take out every ingredient they could possibly find and to get it on everything and everywhere.

“Well, I was thinking,” Isak drags on his word and Even raised an eyebrow at him. “Maybe Jonas could come over and hang out with us? I haven't seen him in a while and you guys can go full music nerd together.”

Even stepped between his legs with his hands on either knee, pushing them apart, “Music nerds huh.” he pecked Isak on the lips. “Just let me know when.”

“Today?” Isak asked, wrapped his arms around Even’s neck.

Even smiled, “I’m free if you are.”

Isak smiled back, “I’ll text him now.” he kissed Even then pulled away to text Jonas.

Even opened the fridge and grabbed two cans, then shut the door with his foot. He set one down on the counter and stepped back into Isak’s space. Even opened his own drink, watching him.

Isak looked up after a minute, “It’s a date.”

“Perfect,” Even said smoothly and took a sip. “What time?”

Isak took his drink from beside himself, “Around 16-16:30” he fought back a smile behind the bottle.

Even raised an eyebrow, “What?” he set his drink down, placing his hands on Isak’s hips, and pulled Isak closer to him.

Isak leaned his head against the cabinet, “Jonas used to play for me a lot and sometimes I'd force him to." he smiled. "Now I get to force both of you."

“So we’re your personal entertainers?”

“ _You’re_ my favorite entertainer.” Isak smiled, leaning forward.

Even cocked his head, “Do we get paid at least?”

Isak rolled his eyes, “You know what I meant.”

“Of course I did,” Even kissed him and when he pulled back, Isak brushed their noses together. Even smiled wide, “But I love messing with you.”

Isak smiled, pulled Even closer to him by the collar of his shirt, and kissed him. The kiss as it went on became more heated. Both moaning low in their throats and Even grinded against the inside of Isak’s thigh, making Isak gasp almost too loud. Even swept his tongue across Isak’s bottom lip and kissed him hard again. Even’s hands moved up his thighs, over his hips, and rested on his lower back, just above his ass. He pulled Isak forward and Isak bit back a surprised yelp. Isak wrapped his leg around Even’s lower back and his hand gripped onto his neck; strands bunching up into his fist.

Mikael’s voice cutting through loud and clear put them to a reluctant halt.

“We can hear you so please, my favorite couple and friends ever, take it upstairs!” he yelled out.

Even threw his head back and laughed. Isak licked his lips and ignored Mikael’s complaint entirely by taking the open opportunity. He leaned forward and pressed open mouth kisses from Even’s jaw to his collarbone. Isak pouted when he was pushed away by his shoulders. A wicked smile crept onto Even’s face and he raised his eyebrows. Even slid his hands under Isak’s thighs and Isak caught on, wrapping his arms and legs tightly around Even.

Isak hummed when he was lifted off the counter and giggled when Even bounced him slightly to adjust his placement. They went through the other end of the kitchen to avoid Mikael and Adam commenting, even though they would have assumed on their own. 

“We have enough time.” Isak said in a low voice. He bit gently on Even’s earlobe and kissed him in the same spot, then his cheek, and everywhere he could reach.

\-----

Jonas arrived almost right on the time he said he would. Guitar in one hand, beanie now shoved into his back pocket, and he unzipped his jacket to hang it up. He greeted the guys when he came in and went up the stairs to Even’s room. When he hugged Even is was big. Hands clapping on each other’s backs with loud greetings.

Isak watched them talk about things he didn’t understand and laugh along with each other. The combination was the music of just them talking alone was music to his ears. He was curled up on Even’s bed and he could’ve fallen asleep right there. Jonas took the desk chair while Even sat in the softer round one in the corner of his room.

Watching the two laugh and bond made Isak’s stomach flip. The words Jonas said and his advice when it came to Even must’ve changed now. Isak knows how Jonas felt - and he might adore Even now, but it’ll always be at his core. Isak is Jonas’ priority. One of the few he would say honestly how he felt. 

To Isak, that’s how Even and Jonas could bond without realizing. Jonas was protective of Isak and so was Even, but, in slightly different ways. And Isak cared and loved them just the same.

The hour went by faster than any of them noticed. Jonas grabbed his things to meet with Mahdi right after. Isak and Even walked him out and the rest of the guys waved to him from the couch. Even sat back down in his chair he had been in for the past hour and let out a huff when Isak straddled him suddenly. He laughed and Isak placed both of his hands on Even’s face.

“I love you.” Isak pressed their foreheads together and kissed Even.

Even’s hands move up and down Isak’s thighs. He tilts his chin up to look at Isak, “Jonas is good!” he smiles. They kiss deeper this time and Isak sighs, contently. 

Isak adjusts and rests his head on Even’s shoulder, face in the crook of his neck, “I’m glad you two had a good time.”

“Tired?” Even asks, softly. He turned and kissed him on the top of the head. 

Isak hummed, “It was very relaxing to watch.”

Even chuckled deeply. He rubbed his hand up and down Isak’s back, the touch light. As Isak started to drift, Even picked him up carefully. He laid Isak down onto his bed gently. Isak immediately turned over and rolled into the blanket and pillows. Even laid down behind him and draped his arm across Isak’s waist. He pressed his face to Isak’s nape and closed his eyes.

\-----

What Isak didn’t realize about his new friends is that if they want to have a party, they don't care when it is. He woke up from his nap to the sound of all of them all yelling downstairs. Isak rubbed a hand over his face and stood up, walking down the stairs to investigate. Once he finally woke up he realized his surroundings.

The whole house was set up for the party Mikael and Adam were talking about. Isak stopped abruptly in the doorway. Yousef and Elias were running in and out of the kitchen with bottles in their hands. Where they kept all that alcohol was beyond him. Even and Mikael were pushing the usual dining table out of the room and into the backyard. Adam and Mutta setting down a foldable plastic table in its place. 

The way the six of them ran around was like it was routine. They yelled at each other repeatedly in a military fashion, but it became a mess of noise that Isak couldn't figure out. How fast they managed to set up in such a short time amazed him. 

Even walked back in and over to him, realizing now he was standing there, “Hey there sleepy head.” he kissed Isak’s cheek. 

Isak pointed to the boys, “When you said there was a party, I didn’t think you meant tonight?”

Even laughed, “Most of the time if they have an idea it happens right then or a few hours later.” he slid his arm around Isak’s waist. “When I plan them I make sure not to do them right away.” he smiled.

Isak rolled his eyes fondly. “If they’re sudden then why does every stop what they’re doing and show up?” 

“You don’t think we’re a must?” Even asked with faux offense.

“Of course you are.” Isak said sarcastically.

Yousef huffed, flopping down onto the couch. “Most people don’t want to spend their nights alone so we send a message out, then everyone brings friends.”

Mikael ran into the house and past Isak, but still responded, “Then the word gets out and there you go! Packed to the brim party shit!”

The thing about them was they always, always, no matter how far away could hear everything and anyone. 

“I should tell the boys then, huh?”

Even shook his head, “I already told them don’t worry.” he squeezed Isak’s waist. He slipped from Isak’s side and went to go help Mikael in the other room.

Adam grabbed a cup and poured himself a drink already, “Cleaning up is worse.”

Elias groaned, “Why would you remind me!”

Mutta laughed, “We do it all the time!”

“I know but still!” Elias’s face scrunched up in disgust. “The vomit and the spilled drinks and the food!”

“When’s everyone coming?” Isak asked, sitting next to Yousef on the couch.

The four of them looked at their phones and yelled out, “Oh shit!” at the same time. They all jumped up and ran around again. Isak laughed at their panic but that meant people would be showing up soon. He wanted to help but had zero clue how.

Mutta ran in with lights in his hands and Yousef was behind him doing the same. But the chord dragging from Mutta’s pile caught onto Yousef and he almost tripped. Isak shut his lips tightly, trying not to laugh. Mutta turned around and laughed anyway. Yousef shoved him forward and they continued what they were doing.

They finally finished and it looked great. Isak was amazed it looked so pretty. The lights hung around and in the backyard didn’t make it seem like a college frat party. Even sat down next to Isak, resting his arm across the back of the couch. 

Isak looks at Even and cups his cheek, “Remember what we said.”

“I know.” Even smiles and turns his head to look at the room.

Isak moves his face so their eyes are locked, “I’m serious. We haven't been to a party since we got together and I don't want this to lead to us fighting.”

Even cupped Isak’s own cheek, “I promised you.” his eyes dart across Isak’s face. “I’m keeping my promise.” Isak pecked a row of kisses to his lips and smiled.

*

Isak was the way he usually was at these parties. Hanging on his friends only and sticking to their sides like glue. This time there was a relief in the air between everyone.

Jonas, Mahdi, and Magnus were yelling almost louder than the music. Magnus bounced up and down and laughed when Mahdi lost the bet they made at the beginning of the night against Jonas. Isak and Even were in the loveseat next to them. They clapped and Jonas stood up, taking a bow.

“Thank you, thank you!” Jonas held up his hands and Magnus leaned up to high five one of them. 

Mahdi coughed and wiped his mouth, “You know I can’t handle that much hard liquor.”

Jonas clapped him on the back and sat back down. “Hey, all that matters is you tried.”

“How many did you have left?” Isak asked. He moved his leg from where it was tucked under himself to lean forward and count the collected glasses from before and the new ones. “You were so close, dude!” he chuckled.

Mahdi groaned, “I know!”

They laughed again and Isak sat back down comfortably against Even. Even slid his arm back around Isak’s waist, hand firm on his hip. He pulled Isak towards himself and kissed him on the cheek. Isak smiled, looking away from Even to hide whatever shyness was there. The conversation went on about whatever the boys thought of. Isak’s laugh cut off into a yelp when a hand landed on his shoulder. Even jumped at the same time as him when another hand was on his own shoulder.

They turned around to whoever it was behind the couch and Isak’s fear turned into a big smile. Even had to fight back any look of annoyance. He smiled, but it wasn't obvious how strained it was to anyone besides Isak and the person in front of them. 

“You scared me!” Isak laughed. He reached over the back of the couch for a hug. “How are you?”

Sonja grunted with the hug and laughed, “I’m sorry, I forgot how loud I have to be. I almost have to make an announcement.” they rocked back and forth before pulling away. “I’m doing good though!” 

Isak’s smile wouldn’t falter, he tried to not look so excited to see her but it didn’t work. “It’s been a while, what happened?” his joyous mood was the only thing Isak was focused on. He didn’t notice how Even’s grip on him had gotten tighter.

“I had to focus on making up old assignments and try to get ahead so it would be easier for the future.” Sonja leaned down and rested her forearms on the couch. “All the boring, time-consuming, work. Then recruiting day.” she shrugged. “Successful nonetheless.” she smiled at Isak again, then turned her gaze to Even.

“It’s always nice to see you, Sonja.” Even said, tilting his head slightly and smiling.

Sonja’s smile became wider and she laughed. “Oh come on!” she shoved Even playfully. “We have our little feuds but I like you just a _little_ more than the others.” Sonja sat up. “But you know that so, let’s lighten up for the night.”

Even rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine.” he smiled at her without strain. 

“Speaking of liking you more,” Sonja bent over the couch again and wrapped her arms around Isak's neck. She pulled him close to herself. “He’s my favorite.” she purred. “Because he’s not like those troublemakers you call friends. I like you because you're not as loud.” Sonja teased.

Even’s mouth hung open in a smirk and his brows furrowed. “Picking on my boys now, huh?” 

Sonja winked, “I always pick on them.” she kissed Isak on the cheek. “Except for this one obviously.”

Isak tried to hide his smile and she squeezed tighter, then let go when she sensed his shyness. Sonja moved to Even and tried to do the same but he turned away from her. She continued, laughing with it, and he yelled in protest which only made her and Isak laugh harder. Sonja, despite her persistence, gave up and left Even be. 

“I thought you liked me!”

“I was trying to show you I do!” Sonja said through her laughter.

Even leaned his head over the back of the couch. He reached over and squeezed her shoulder. “Thank you.” he said sarcastically. 

Sonja pulled the hand on her shoulder off and squeezed it too tightly. Tight enough that when she let go it left white and red behind. “Of course.” she smiled and started talking to Isak again.

Sonja and Isak dove deeper into their conversation. Even didn't want to butt in so he looked back at the boys, hoping they’d have something to distract him. Their own conversation didn't interest him either in any way. He bit his lip and bounced his leg, occasionally looking over at Sonja and Isak. A part of him wanted them to bond. Get so close that they could be there whenever. He knew they needed to, but another part didn't want that.

Even didn't know how Isak knew Sonja and how close they were, which seemed close enough. He knew, realistically, Isak wouldn't change for one person if they told him anything. But it can make him think of Even in a different light.

He grabbed a drink from the coffee table and took a much-needed swig. When he leaned back into the couch the conversation had stopped. Sonja pulled out her phone and read the screen.

“The girls are wondering where I am.” Sonja smiled and hugged Isak one more time. “I’ll see you two around!” she ruffled Even’s hair and backed up, walking away. “Don’t corrupt him!” she called with a finger pointed at Even. 

Even raised his hand, flipping her off, and she did the same back. He shook his head and looked away to hide his smile. Isak watched her walk away then looked over at Even.

“I thought you couldn’t stand each other?” Isak asked, a smile hiding behind it.

“We can’t.” Isak raised an eyebrow at him. Even rolled his eyes, “We like each other sometimes, but mostly we would rather be across the campus from one another.”

Isak chuckled, “I see, I see.” 

Even nudged him with his elbow, “She has her perks.”

Isak nodded with pursed lips. He was pulled towards Even, practically into his lap, and Isak smiled. Isak leaned into Even and the conversation was over.

Even wanted to ask too many questions, but it wasn’t the right place or time. His mind wanted to wander but Even had to push that behind himself. He got snapped out of his thoughts by Isak’s laugh. 

Jonas stood up and brushed his hands over his thighs. He gestured for Isak to go with him and Isak hopped up off the couch. Even reluctantly let him go, not trusting anyone around knowing Mikael and Adam’s intentions, but Jonas was around. Shit-faced or not Jonas wouldn't let anything happen.

Isak held onto Jonas’ hand when they walked through the party. Joking about how they needed to hold hands so they wouldn't get lost like a child at an amusement park. Isak laughed into Jonas’ back from being so close to him he had to avoid stepping on the back of his feet. Suddenly Jonas stopped in the middle of the crowd and Isak stumbled slightly.

Jonas felt all over his pants and looked around the room unnecessarily. “Shit!” he hissed.

“What?”

“I forgot my phone!” Jonas groaned, tossing his head back dramatically. “I don’t trust anyone around here. You know it’ll be taken in a second.” he rolled his lips in. “Go to the kitchen I’ll meet you there.”

Isak laughed, “Dude why the fuck don’t you keep it on you?”

Jonas rolled his eyes, “Because I put it down to show Mahdi something somewhere and I forgot.” he started walking back towards where their friends were.

“Jonas!” Isak yelled but Jonas was too far. He sighed and continued walking through the too packed room. 

Isak had to shove people to get past. He felt someone grab him and he pushed the hands off. People were drunk and for them to be handsy wasn’t out of the order. But when Isak kept walking the same hands were on him again. Isak’s panic started to rise and he turned around. The person grabbing him was some guy Isak couldn't recognize. He pushed at him again, more aggressive this time. Isak cursed at him and that made everyone around them turn around and focus in.

The guy went to open his mouth, but with the now drawn attention, Elias was walking over. He narrowed his eyes and stood next to Isak.

“Hey man,” Elias put his arm around Isak’s shoulders. He leaned against him and tilted his head. “I don’t want a problem here.”

Isak swallowed hard and looked around the room awkwardly. “It’s fine okay? We’re cool.” Isak mumbled.

“Yeah, we’re cool.” The guy said arms open wide.

Elias glared at him and turned back to Isak, frowning. “It’s not fine.” 

Even pushed past and cursed under his breath. “Elias-”

“Don’t yell at me yet when the biggest piece of shit is here.” Elias growled and gestured to the guy in front of them.

The guy brought his hand up and pointed an accusing finger. “Mind your own fucking business.”

Elias stepped into his space, “Because it’s okay for you to just grab people like that.” he shook his head. “Real classy.”

“Back off,” Even put his own hand between them, pushing Elias back. “And you,” he narrowed his eyes. “You shouldn't even fucking be here.”

As if they appeared out of thin air, Jonas, Magnus, Mahdi, Mikael and Adam were in the small circle created. Isak groaned, pressing his face into his hands.

“Oh man.” Adam smiled and hit Mikael excitedly repeatedly on his arm.

Mikael scoffed bitterly, “Of course it was one of you!”

Adam shoved Mikael forward in encouragement. Without even knowing what happened Mahdi jumped to Mikael’s side as well. Even stuck his arm out in front of Mikael when he tried to get into his face. The guy walked away and out of the house, mumbling something under his breath. Mikael pushed Even’s arm out of the way and followed the guy. Adam ran with him with the same amount of excitement. Mahdi, Jonas, and Magnus didn't follow. They mumbled curses and made everyone else at the party clear up. If Mikael wanted to start a fight, Even could care less now. What he cared about was behind him.

Even turned back around. He held onto Isak’s biceps, “Are you okay?” he looked over Isak's face in worry.

“Who even was that?” Isak asked, aggravated.

“One of Thomas’ friends.” Even mumbles. 

Isak scoffed, “Isn’t that another reason to just let Mikael and Adam do what they want?”

Even rolled his eyes, “So I can get in trouble? No. I’ll make sure they keep away but I’m not risking anything.”

Isak sighed and shook his head, “Whatever this isn’t ruining my night.” he took Even’s hands off his arms and laced their fingers together. He backed up with a smile and pulled Even along. 

The night went on without any more complications. Jonas already making bets on if Magnus can use his so-called charm, he yelled about for the past few hours, on anyone in the party. Isak hated drinking more than he should. The possibility of making a fool of yourself, throwing up, passing out. Then the morning after was what he dreaded the most. 

But tonight, he threw all of that out the window. Downing cup after cup with Jonas and only that led to the slightly buzzed feeling. Isak’s arms draped lazily over Even’s shoulders. He pressed his cheek to his chest and swayed back and forth. Even kept him close to hold him up and continued talking with Yousef. Isak looked over at Mahdi who stood alone as he waited for Jonas.

“Hey,” Isak yelled out over the music. Mahdi turned to him and nodded. “Can I hug you?”

Mahdi laughed, “What?”

“I said,” Isak stepped away from Even to get closer to Mahdi. “Can I hug you? I really want to.”

“Uh, sure, I guess?” Mahdi raised an eyebrow in question but opened his arms nonetheless.

Isak wrapped his arms around Mahdi’s middle and sighed into the hug. “You know you’re the best right? So awesome.” he hummed. “You always take care of us and you're so nice. You’re so great, dude. I love you.”

Mahdi pulled Isak off of him gently. He was practically using Mahdi as his leverage to stand. “That’s the sweetest thing you've ever said to me.”

Isak shook his head, “That’s not true.”

“If you say so.” Mahdi turned Isak around by the shoulders and walked him back over to Even. “I’m gonna go see how project “Get Magnus a Hook-up” is working out.” he smiled at Even and pointed over his shoulder.

“Let me know how it goes.” Even winked.

Mahdi chuckled, “We all know how Magnus is so.” he shrugged and jovially patted both Isak and Even on the shoulder. He raised a hand and walked away through the crowd. Yousef placed his hands on his hips.

“Do you think Elias is out there?”

Even shrugged, “He didn't follow Mikael or Adam but I wouldn't doubt it.”

Yousef nodded, “I’ll go check and see if there’s a war going on.”

“Good luck with that.” Even smiled.

“Gonna need it!” is the last thing Yousef said as he was walking towards the door.

Even leaned his head against the wall and watched everyone. He had his arm around Isak’s waist, keeping him close to his side. Isak pressed his face to his shoulder and smiled against him. Even kissed his head and brushed his nose through the soft curls. 

“Baby,” Isak said, muffled by Even’s jacket. He rested his chin against Even’s shoulder and looked up at him.

“What’s up?”

Isak slowly slid his hand down Even’s chest till it was right above the waistband of his jeans. He smirked smugly and cupped him through the fabric. Even raised his eyebrows and looked around, trying to ignore him.

“Come on…” Isak whispered in his ear. 

“Isak,”

Isak squeezed him again but this time he rubbed up against Even’s thigh. In a swift motion, Even grabbed Isak by the wrist and dragged him through the crowd. Isak kept close to his back and kept his other hand in the back pocket of Even’s jeans. 

Even knocked on the bathroom door and leaned against the doorway. He taps his foot anxiously and Isak continues to touch him. Even stalls Isak’s hand that now was trailing into his pants. Then when no one responded to the knock he opened the bathroom and pulled them both inside. 

Once the bathroom door was shut, Even slammed Isak up against it. The impact sobered Isak up almost entirely.

“Right in the middle of the party,” Even said, nose bumping against Isak’s. “So fucking filthy.”

The kiss was rough instantly. Even’s hands framed Isak’s face, pulling him in closer. Isak’s hand tugged on the hair at the nape of Even’s neck and Even growled. He pulled Isak closer by his hips and grinded down. Isak moaned into his mouth and Even kissed his jaw, then under his ear. 

Isak pushed Even away and they stared at each other, catching their breaths. Even’s hair was a mess and his eyes were dark. Isak knew he probably looked just as much of a horny mess as Even. They shared a smile and Isak attacked him again. They walked back further into the bathroom till Even was against the wall parallel to the door. 

Isak tilted his chin up and huffed a laugh. Isak grinded up against Even and they both let out a groan at the feeling. Isak looked down to undo Even’s jeans, popping open the button and pulling the zipper down slowly. Even bit his lip and Isak looked back up, locking his gaze with Even. He wrapped a hand around him and Even let out a deep groan. With his other hand, Isak unzipped himself and right as Even’s hand reached for him Isak stopped him.

“I have an idea.” he whispered.

Isak spit into his hand and reached down to jerk them both off together. Even moaned, his head falling back against the bathroom wall. Even bucked up his hips and made Isak gasp high and quiet.

Isak leaned forward and licked a stripe up Even’s neck. He pressed an open mouth kiss to his pulse then sucking a bruise into the skin. Isak swiped his thumb over the slit of Even’s dick and Even hummed contently. Isak kissed Even hard before dropping to his knees. Even groaned at the sight of him. Isak licked his lips eagerly then licked around the head, looking up at Even the entire time. 

“Fuck my mouth, baby.” 

Even groaned and slid his hand to the back of Isak’s head. He curled his fingers around his hair and tugged Isak back. Isak’s hands reached for Even’s thighs and he bit his lip, humming at the grip in his hair. He opened up his mouth and stuck his tongue out eagerly. Even teased, rubbing the head of his cock over his tongue. 

“Shit, Isak.” he hissed as he shoved into the wet heat. Isak moaned, closing his eyes, satisfied. 

Even slowly fucked into Isak’s mouth and tugged his bottom lip between his teeth. Isak’s eyes were shut tight and spit started to drip down his chin and smear around his mouth. Even brought his other hand up to Isak’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone and stretch of his mouth soothingly. He wiped the tears starting to fall.

Even kept his pace quick, but gentle enough not to choke Isak. Isak opened his eyes and Even moaned loudly. His had become tear-stained and the sight of the entire scene almost made Even come at that moment. Isak’s hand moved to jerk himself off. He pumped rapidly and groaned around Even. Isak’s eyes shut and he whined high in his throat as he came in his hand.

The sound made Even reach his own climax and stilled his hips, cock deep in Isak’s throat. Isak pulled off and licked his lips. He swallowed and stood up and wobbled slightly. Even was panting and he watched Isak’s every move. He chuckled deeply when Isak turned on the faucet and swished the water around his mouth before spitting it out. Then he put his hand under it and wiped it off on a towel. 

“That was so fucking hot.” Even said, breathless.

Isak shoved himself back into his pants and strolled over to Even. He smirked and tucked Even back into his jeans and pat him on the chest. “You should get like that more often.” his voice was raw, making it obvious if anyone noticed. “It’s hot when you get possessive.”

Even hummed, “I love you.” he kissed Isak tenderly. “So much.” he said against his lips.

“Are you saying that because you mean it or because you just fucked my mouth?”

“Both.” Even smiled.

Even grabbed Isak’s hand and they walked out of the bathroom. They headed back over to where their friends were and Even acted like nothing had happened prior. Playing his disheveled look off as it being from the party. Isak, on the other hand, knew he looked and sounded, showed exactly what happened. Jonas looked at him and raised an eyebrow with a smug smirk. Isak raised his eyebrows and looked away and he could almost hear Jonas laugh.

\-----

Isak jogged up the steps, things clutched tightly in his left hand. He rounded the corner and his breathing picked up slightly from the run across campus. Being late wasn't an issue but he was behind enough as it was and getting there earlier would be beneficial.

Standing at the other end of the hall was Chris. She looked smiley as usual but the concern was the same as Isak’s. He smiled and hurried towards her. When Isak came into her view she smiled back and extended an arm.

“Haven't seen you in a while.” Chris wrapped the arm around Isak in an embrace.

Isak laughed, “Busy, busy.” he hugged back with his free arm.

Chris groaned as she pulled away. She bounced the notebooks and textbook in her hand, adjusting to hold it in both arms. “I’m so behind on my notes and assignments you wouldn't _believe_.” she continued to walk with Isak beside her. “I wasn't paying attention for a few lectures and all of the sudden I’m fucking confused!”

“I’m no help to you then.” Isak frowned. “I’m probably even farther behind you.”

Chris nodded, “We’re both a mess of horrible students.” she smiled.

Isak looked over at her, “How about Sana? Maybe she could help.”

“She said she’d give me her notes but not let me cheat on the assignments or tests.” Chris huffed. “So what’s the point!”

“Speaking of her, where is she?”

“Said she was busy and that she might be late.”

Isak gasped, “Sana? Not care about her schooling?”

Chris laughed, “I know right?” she shrugged. “But I guess it’s something important if she’s missing out on work.”

Isak nodded in agreement and hummed. He pushed open the door for Chris and they stepped into the room. Luckily it wasn't full yet so they walked to their seats and sat down. Isak quickly took down whatever Chris had already written and once that was done, they had to wait for Sana. 

“So,” Chris sang with the drag of the word. “How’s Even?”

Isak smirked, “Wonderful.”

Chris and leaned on one elbow towards Isak, playing with the hair tie on her wrist. She pulled it back and let it snap repeatedly. Isak raised an eyebrow at her and she mimicked him. 

“What?” Isak huffed a laugh.

“I don't get anything more?”

Isak lolled his head back with a sigh. “You and Eva are two of a kind.”

Chris pouted, “Is there anything going on that us girls can be involved with?”

Isak smirked, “Are you using me to get first notice of parties or other things?”

“Of course I am!”

“I don't know if there’s anything,” Isak clicked his pen open again and flipped open one of his books. More students started to fill the room and their voices became louder. “But I’ll let you know for sure.”

Chris pointed a finger, eyebrows high to the sky, “You better or I’m not letting you cheat off me next time.”

Isak smiled, “Now that you say that…”

Chris winked and their conversation ended. Both kept looking towards the door in hopes Sana wouldn't be late like she said. As if their inner prayer was answered she came in right before the lecture started. Chris reached over with an open palm and smiled. Sana rolled her eyes and handed over the notes to her.

Sana looked at Isak and he smiled apologetically. She sighed, “Fine, after.” she lifted a hand and dropped it dramatically, then set up to focus on the class.

\-----

Everyone was sitting around the dining table. Mutta had his notebook open, phone in one hand to read off the answers to his problems. Adam was chewing loudly across and Mikael was next to him, trying to help Mutta out instead of him having to look down and up constantly. Isak ate from Adam’s plate and watched the bickering.

“Dude,” Adam says around a bite suddenly. “You should get pinned.”

Mutta and Mikael stopped talking once the words were out of Adam’s mouth.

Mutta raised his arms, “I agree one hundred percent.”

Isak tilted his head slightly, brows knit in confusion, “Pinned?”

“When the president of a frat gives their pin to their girlfriend - or boyfriend, to show their love is more important than the house.” Mikael explained

Adam pointed a finger, “Or it can be a Lavaliere.” 

“What's the point in that?” Isak asked.

Mikael shrugged, “It’s just a tradition.”

Adam smiled, “But it’s a fun one! All your friends come and get drunk off their asses and they give speeches.”

“It’s like a wedding but not a wedding,” Mutta said while reaching over to steal from Adam’s plate.

“Why don't you just throw a regular party?”

“It’s not the same.” Mikael complained. “We can just pretend you're in a sorority because that’s when it’s fun.”

Isak laughed, “What do you mean?”

“Sororities see pinning as a big thing and sometimes we are invited or we have to celebrate on our own.”

“As you can clearly see,” Isak gestured to himself with a hand up and down. “I’m not in a sorority.”

Adam pat on the table, punctuating, “That’s why we’re gonna tell Sonja and just act like it's a typical ceremony!”

Isak sighed, “Why do we have to say it’s a pinning ceremony when we can just throw a party.”

“Because word might get out and everyone knows if it's a pinning not to come,” Mikael said. 

“I think Even proves he loves me enough already.”

Adam frowns, “But it’s so fun, trust me.”

Isak nods, “I’m sure it is, but I don't want to waste time like that.”

Mutta laughed, “You guys just wanna see the girls in Sonja’s sorority huh!”

Mikael held his hands up, “No one said that.”

Elias walked in and let out a noise of interest, “What about Sonja’s girls?” he strode past Adam and snatched a piece of food off his plate.

“We wanna pin Isak.”

Elias laughed, “You could but there’s no point.”

Adam scoffed, “What do you mean there’s no point?”

“Even wouldn’t pin him.” he said and sat down. “Not because the house is more important but because he’s not gonna let you guys go near Sonja’s sorority.”

Mutta laughed at Mikael and Adam’s groans. “See, you guys just wanna hang out with them when there isn’t a whole crowd around.” Mikael waved a dismissive hand.

Adam pointed a finger, “Because everyone at parties gets to flirt and when I get there? Bam! A smack to the face.”

Isak and Mutta burst out laughing at the imagery of Adam’s rejection.

Mutta smiled, “It’s because Sonja hates us so her girls aren't gonna like you guys.”

Mikael rolled his eyes, “They can form their own opinions!”

“Maybe you’re not doing something right.” Isak said.

Elias held up his finger, “I have an idea, then.” he cut the topic of Mikael and Adam’s desperation short. He out his phone and the boys watched him curiously. He tapped on something on his screen then tossed his phone onto the table, then hit the speaker button. “We’ll just ask her about having a ceremony.”

After a few seconds she picked up.

“What.” Sonja’s voice came through the phone, her annoyance obvious already. 

Isak leaned across the table, “Hi Sonja!”

Her tone was lighter now and her smile could be heard through her words, “Hi Isak!” 

He looked up at the boys and they all looked like they wanted to laugh or be offended by the fact she hated them and loved him.

“We have something to ask of you.” Elias said.

She sighed, “What?”

Adam leaned over, “We wanna convince Even to pin Isak so we can throw a party with you guys.”

“You wanna what?”

“God dammit!” Adam cursed and sat back down.

Mikael groaned, “Even, dude, I know you don't like any form of this shit but trust us!”

Sonja laughed, “Okay but it’s not too horrible.”

“You know how they are!” Even said.

Elias frowned, “We’re still on the phone.”

They both were silent on the other end. The boys looked at each other in concern. 

Isak cleared his throat and leaned forward again, “I don't mind.” the boys opened their mouths in awe. He rolled his eyes, “If Sonja doesn’t care and I can bring my friends then I’m okay with it.”

Mikael and Adam locked hands and crossed their fingers with the other. They looked up and closed their eyes being as dramatic as possible.

There was a heavy sigh coming from the line. “Fine-” the guys high-fived “But if this is just a way for you guys to try and hit on the girls I’m kicking you out.”

Mikael laughed, “You wouldn't!”

“We’ll see Boukhal.” 

Sonja was back on the line, “If you do, I don’t mind.” Isak could practically feel Even glaring at her through the phone. “We’ll see you soon.”

Everyone said their goodbyes and Elias put his phone back into his pocket. He excused himself, the job already done. The rest of the guys continued talking happily and started planning out ridiculous ideas that would never happen anyway. Isak didn’t understand why they wanted it that badly, but if it made everyone happy he’d do it.

\-----

Even gave quick kisses all over Isak’s face. From his forehead to his cheek, to his nose, and down to his jaw. Isak giggled under him and placed his hands on the sides of his face to look at him. He smiled and did the same back, a hand placed firmly on the back of his neck. Isak bumped his nose with Even’s and he smiled at the action.

They broke out of each others trance when Magnus cleared his throat across from them in his own bed.

“I’m still in the room,” Magnus said unnecessarily loud, his earbud dangling from his left hand.

“Do you want a kiss too Magnus?” Even asked and Isak laughed again.

Magnus sighed, “Honestly, with how life has been lately I could use one.”

Isak moved his arm under his head, “Speaking of that, how is Vilde?”

“It’s-” Magnus looked up from his laptop. “I don’t know man.”

Isak frowned, “But you always talk on campus and at parties? I saw you two at the last one, you seem like you’re doing good.”

“That’s what the problem is. It _seems_ to be that way.”

“Why don’t you ask her for her number or make other plans.” Even suggests. “If she likes you already she wouldn’t say no to something like…” he sat there, thinking. He looked to Isak for help.

Isak snapped his fingers, “Going to the movies!”

“Yeah!” Even smiled. “Simple things like that.”

Magnus chewed on his bottom lip. “I know I just get nervous around her.” he looked down at his hands that were resting on top of the cold keyboard. “I wanna ask her out but it’s not that easy.”

Isak sighed and pushed up on elbows to sit up. “It’s Vilde, Magnus. She’s a sweetheart and she’s not gonna hurt you. Let’s say she didn’t like you, she wouldn’t be rude about it either way.” he smiled softly. “I’m sure she’d love to hang out with you.”

“I guess so.”

“It seems like whatever you’re doing is working.” Even said. “If you were doing something wrong she’d try to run away.” he laughed.

Magnus smiled, “Yeah…” he tapped his fingers and huffed. “I just wish I was smooth with this stuff.” he looked over at Even. “You’re smooth, man.”

Even raises his eyebrows and laughs, “Really?”

Magnus scoffed, “Dude you would show up here like it was nothing.”

Even shrugged, “If you count that.”

“I count it!” Magnus gestured to Isak. “It obviously worked whatever you did, but I wish I was able to just do that shit.”

“It took a lot of anxiety and courage to do it.” Even points out. “That’s all it is.”

Isak cleared his throat. “Magnus you’re a likable person. You’re nice, funny, and a good friend. You have a good heart and I know she’s gonna love every part of you.”

“Aw, thanks.”

Isak couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, not pick on Magnus. He smirked, “If we can like you anyone can.”

Magnus waved a hand, his mouth moving stiffly at the corner. He moved his laptop off his lap. He stood up and stepped into his slippers, “At least you’re nice to me.” Magnus walked over to Isak’s bed and pat Even on the knee.

“Because I like you!” Even beamed.

Magnus grabbed his keys and spun the keychain around a finger, “I think I love you more than Vilde now.”

Isak grunted, “Just go!”

“I was gonna ask if you wanted anything since I’m grabbing snacks but,” Magnus whistled. Isak opened his mouth to say something again but Even pinched him to keep him quiet. Magnus held his hands up and left the dorm.

Even crossed his legs and rested against the wall, “We haven’t done anything in awhile.” he said in a soft voice.

Isak sat up fully and leaned over to place his hands on Even’s knees, “You mean no more coming to my dorm at night to try and win me over?”

“Hey,” Even laughed and pointed a finger. “It worked didn’t it?”

“Yes, yes it did.”

“No seriously, with all this trying to get Magnus a date talk, we should go out.” He rocked his hiked up leg back and forth, a hand holding onto his ankle. “A proper date this time.”

Isak pursed his lips, “I like that idea.”

Even hummed, pleased, and grabbed Isak’s hands in his own. He sat up on his knees and Isak fell onto his back willingly. Even leaned over him and raised an eyebrow, teasing. Isak rolled his eyes and Even laughed as he met his lips. Isak smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around his neck. 

\-----

Isak recently made the decision to stay at the frat house rather than his own dorm. He didn’t realize how much time he spent there instead of with his actual roommate. Up until he started running back and forth for clothes and more. 

It’s not that Isak didn’t love Magnus or his dormitory neighbors. They were all his close friends and he’d stay with them forever if he could. Jonas and Mahdi were always right across if he needed anything and he had Magnus to distract him from a hard day.

Now he had Even and the rest of the fraternity. It was two different atmospheres, nothing had its similarity. That’s why Isak never stayed in his own bed as much anymore besides Even entirely. He wanted that difference now that he could take it. He’d been stuck in a routine for so long the taste of what everyone would talk about. It was a free ticket into such a hyped up thing.

Some days Isak would still come back to his own room or across the way. Today for example; he wanted to be with Magnus, Jonas, and Mahdi for as much as he possibly could. Isak felt jittery for practically all afternoon to night. Jonas reminded him how fine it would be over and over. Mahdi even offered him a few drinks to have before to calm down. Magnus was sitting on the bed, watching Isak pace.

“Dude, you’ve gone out with him before and done way more I’m sure.” Magnus laughed. “What could you be nervous about?”

“The other times don’t count and I’m nervous because this is for real this time.”

In the past, they weren’t the real, stereotypical, date. It was always Even showing Isak around or talking to him like he was the purpose to do anything that was done. Isak loved those nights more than the planned ones. They never called them dates but to Isak, they felt like them.

Magnus stood up and reached for Isak. He squeezed his biceps tightly, “Hey, you’re gonna be fine and you’re gonna have a good time.” he smiled reassuringly. “I think you could offer to watch a shitty flick in sweatpants, a stained t-shirt, with gross breath, and Even would _still_ think it’s the most romantic thing you could do.”

Isak laughed, “Okay, okay.”

“I can’t believe I get to be your parent right now.” Magnus nodded with pride. “I just totally took Eskild’s job.”

“Oh, no one can do that.” Isak grabbed his phone from the nightstand and his keys. “I gotta head out.” he smiled up at Magnus. “If I wake you up by coming in late I’m sorry in advance.”

Magnus started to push Isak towards the door, “Don’t worry I’ll be up waiting for an entire front to back speech about your date.”

Isak raised his eyebrows, “Wow you really do sound like Eskild right now.”

Magnus shrugged, “I’m excited.”

Magnus slapped Isak on the ass once before shutting the door. Isak smiled to himself and knocked on Jonas and Mahdi’s door as he walked by. He called out to them and they yelled back words of encouragement through the wood. Isak stepped out onto the campus and towards the street. He smiled at the sight of Even already sitting outside of his car, looking down at his phone.

As Isak’s footsteps got closer Even looked up. He smiled back and stepped forward to meet Isak half-way. He wrapped Isak in a tight hug and Isak pressed his face close to Even’s chest, breathing in his comforting, familiar smell. Isak didn’t know where they actually planned on going. It wasn’t too formal since both of them were dressed in what they usually did. Even opened the door for Isak and he rolled his eyes, getting inside. He hurried over to the other side and got in himself, starting up the car.

They didn’t speak much for most of the ride there. The silence and soft sound of the radio kept them comfortable. But when a certain song came through after long minutes of talking and Even turned it up eagerly. Isak liked the song too, he wasn’t going to change it or complain, but he almost wanted to in embarrassment. Even started to belt dramatically to the song coming through the radio. Pointing over to Isak and moving in his seat along with the beat.

Isak groaned, rolling his head to the side, “Really?”

“Who doesn’t sing in the car?” Even defended.

Isak laughed, “I like this song too but I don’t go all out.” he smiled. “Maybe when I’m alone.”

Even shook his head, “This is when you should hear me, not when I’m trying to steal you away.”

“So I have to hear your rendition of a shitty pop song?”

“Exactly.” Even grinned wickedly.

*

They spent their date at the fair and Even told Isak he would promise to go to a more formal place next time, but Isak didn’t care. Running around all day, just the two of them, in a place with things you only get to do once in awhile was worth it. 

As they walked through the fair, Isak kept close to Even’s side with their hands intertwined. He couldn’t stop smiling even if he tried. Even swung their hands back and forth and Isak rested his head against Even’s shoulder. His tiredness started to take over from walking around all day. 

Suddenly Even stopped walking and he smiled big and wide, “Oh I’m definitely gonna try and get you one of those.” Even pointed to one of the game prizes.

Isak laughed, “You need good aim to win.”

Even scoffed, “I’ll show you I can win that.”

Isak cocked an eyebrow, “What if I win?”

Even waved a dismissive hand, “I’m gonna prove to you I’m just like those soda commercials. I win you over with a cheezy prize and a drink and then we go on rides and fall in love.” he raised his eyebrows. “That’s how I win you over.”

“I think you’ve already done that.”

Even laughed, eyes crinkling at the corners, “You’re admitting to me stealing your heart?”

Isak rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile. “I’m saying you’re a romantic and you’re _very_ into trying to swoon me like a movie.”

“Well,” Even grinned, “I’ll take it as a compliment.”

In the end, neither one of them won which meant buying something from a gift shop later. Isak was happy to just _get_ a gift from Even and do the same. Even pampering him in any way wasn't something Isak would ever complain about. He’d never admit that out loud to anyone though because that’d be a sign up for his own embarrassment. 

They stayed at the boardwalk all day. More people came and went but it never got too crowded and they both were thankful. Isak wanted to keep his cool. Remain relaxed and chill around Even. Act like this date didn't get him giddy, but he couldn't. It would hurt him physically and emotionally if he did. 

Isak skipped ahead of Even, twirling around to look at him. Even smiled and held his hand out, which Isak gladly took. He pulled Isak to his side, hand in hand, and they walked around. Even kissed him on the cheek and Isak did the same back. Even gasped suddenly and Isak blinked in surprise.

There was a huge smile on Even’s face that made Isak’s stomach do a flip. There was a Ferris wheel lit up with bright neon colors to bring attention to it. Isak would do anything Even asked and he’s sure it’s the same for him, but the pit of his gut almost makes him back out.

As they get into the cart Isak is already running the possible casualties through his head. Even looked over at him and rubbed his shoulder as if he read his mind. Ensuring him they could watch over the entire pier and feel free. The view was something Isak was looking forward to. He would say it out loud, but he knows Even. He knows how stupid and cliche he’d answer with saying ‘the view was right next to him.’

Isak started to calm down when Even started talking. They conversed for a while, looking at each other, the ocean, the rest of the boardwalk. It was calming to be up there. Isak _felt_ calm. 

Even continued to ramble and point at the scenery below them. Isak looked at him, eyes steady, soft all around. He felt weightless. Nothing in that time could change the way he felt or the moment. The world around them was perfect from how the air felt to the cart they were in. Every time Even would look over at him and Isak swears he can see a twinkle in them. 

\-----

Even adjusted the laptop into his lap. He opened the screen and started to type quickly into the search bar. Isak had him come over to his dorm to hang out but Even had to come up with his essay by the end of that day. So Isak suggested to do the essay there and that's how they ended up watching the film, Even was choosing, on Isak’s bed.

Even kept his notebook open to add whatever notes he needed to put together later. Isak tried to help as best as possible, but that was mostly him listening to Even talk about it instead. Important factors of cinematography that Isak in ways tried to grasp, but not entirely. He’d throw in his own comments and Even would agree or praise even if it wasn’t the best.

“I think I always knew I wanted to do something that involved art.” Even said as he wrote something down. 

“Really?” Isak asked curiously.

Even hummed. He tapped the pencil against his thigh, gaze back on the screen. “You can express and feel anything when it comes to the arts.” he smiled at Isak. “Especially in a film.”

Isak lifted his head to rest his chin against Even’s shoulder. “I see what you mean.”

“Movies like this,” Even gestured to the screen. “It has that fictional background that no one is ever going to relate or understand _unless_ somehow that technology comes along. The emotions are still real so you feel the way they do.” he shrugged. “You don't have to relate to it to feel something.”

“It’s interesting,” Isak said, looking up at Even, eyes wide in interest. “Really interesting.” he smiled softly. “And I’m not just saying that because it came out of your mouth.”

Even laughed and played with the hair resting against Isak’s cheek. “How about you, hm?” he smiled. “Why are you the biology enthusiast.”

“I wasn’t into it when I was younger.” Isak said. “I thought it was just a drag of a class, but then you get older and blah blah.” he shrugged. “I started to actually think it was interesting so I kept pushing towards more human study.”

Even nodded, “Which do you like more?”

“Environmental for sure.” Isak smiled. “It’s good to understand how people work but, you’re never going to _actually_ know. We’re too complex.” his face scrunched up.

“Then why take it?”

“To get a better understanding.” Isak clarified. “I have the same types of science drilled into my head, so human ecology is a way to connect them all.”

Even smiled, “Science is a good field to work in and you’re smart.”

“It’s kinda scary, though.” Isak kept his gaze on Even’s hand moving across the page. “Going into the real world.”

“You’re here,” Even says. “College is a big step, right?” Isak nods. “You’re halfway there and you’re doing great.”

Isak smiled, “So are you,” he nudged Even’s side. “Double majoring is something I can’t do. I can barely keep up with my one class.”

“It’s better than high school that’s for sure.” Even laughed.

“What was it like for you?” Isak titled his head curiously. “In high school?”

Even pursed his lips, "Some years harder than others like anyone would say. I kept to myself so I really didn't have too much drama and I met Sonja throughout those years too." the corners of his mouth turned up into a small smile. "You're gonna think this is crazy, but we used to be really close friends. I kinda still would consider her my best friend even though we get on each other's nerves now." Even shrugged. “Things happen and you just don't like being around someone too much.” he looked over to Isak. “How was it for you?”

"As you said, some years harder than others." Isak parrots. "I had a lot of drama though that really doesn't matter now, but at the time? First world problem." he laughed. "That's kinda how it was, things that at the time mattered but doesn't now. I had some family stuff happen too - but everything is okay now. I went to school with Eva for pretty much my whole life and I met Eskild in high school," he shrugged. "So I had them to always rely on if I needed it." he looked down at Even’s shirt and the bundle he created by playing with it. "The insignificant drama really made me do things that I'm still not proud of." "But it's okay now like you said?" Even asked, voice soft. "Maybe it is, but I treated people rudely after a lot of things." Isak frowned. "It made me angry, annoyed, at everyone and that stuck with me up until now. I'm not as bad as I was, even I can admit, but it's still there." Isak sighed. “It's why I right away judged you and got annoyed, which is such a shitty way to be." 

“Baby,” Even rubbed his shoulder, “ _I_ know I wasn't a good person either, and whatever happened in the past had an effect on you and you can't help it." he tilted his head and smiled. "But you're working it out now. You're being nice to my annoying roommates and you managed to love me." Isak rolled his eyes, "I could love you no matter who I am and just because I was scared of things and was angry doesn't mean I got to be an asshole. You helped me out with that and done a lot. I made friends here and they did help - for sure. But me realizing how shitty I was to you and you not caring about that, it made me realize that I’m missing out if I don’t stop the judgemental shit.”

Even tilted his head, resting it against Isak’s, “You’ve done so much for me too you have no idea.”

Isak scoffed, “You did a lot more.” he shifted comfortably against Even’s side.

“Maybe I did pursue things and tried to get you to like me using cliche romantic tactics but,” Even smiled into Isak’s hair. “You helped me out of things I wish I could explain.”

Isak tilted his head up, “Wish?”

Even played with a curl at the nape of Isak’s neck. “You just have to wait and see.” he teased.

Isak narrows his eyes in suspicion but lets it go and turns his attention back to the movie. As the movie played for more minutes Isak’s eyelids started to close without his control. Being curled up close to the warmth of Even’s side wasn’t helping him to stay awake. Just as he started to drift off into a sleep, Even was moving Isak off of himself and Isak frowned. 

Even smiled and stood up. He stepped into his shoes and Isak raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you doing?”

“I haven't done this in a while and it came to me now.” Even grabbed Isak jacket and tosses it gently to him. “I wanna show you something that got done recently.”

Isak shut the laptop and moved it to the side. “What do I have the honor of seeing now?” He asked, fighting back a smile.

“I told you I was a film and art major, so, why not show you the art for once.”

“I count serenading me with instruments and singing art.”

“The visual art that everyone could stare at for hours. Paintings, drawings, sculptures, all the good stuff.” Even’s smile was so big with pride it had become contagious.

Isak still joked about the way Even would flirt. Showing off his talents in such a smooth way that it actually worked. Now they were about to relive those types of nights and Isak still felt the same way he did before. His stomach fluttering with nerves and excitement, just with more relaxation. He could show how much he loved Even for anything and Even could do the same.

*

Isak stepped ahead of Even which gave him the golden opportunity. Even wrapped his arms around Isak’s waist and lifted him up swiftly. Isak yelled in surprise, a smile still on his face, and pushed at Even’s arms. Even laughed and put Isak gently over his shoulder and walked down the lit pathway.

If Isak from a few months ago was told he’d be hung over Even Bech Næsheim’s shoulder, ass in the air, late at night going to see an art piece he made; it’d be the best joke he’s ever heard.

Isak looked over his shoulder and squinted, “Where are we going?” 

“There’s a wall behind the library that I decided to paint on.” before Isak could say anything, Even cut in. “With permission of course.”

Isak held his hands up, keeping his elbows against Even’s back for balance. “I needed confirmation because I don't trust you with anything campus related.” 

“Don’t like bad boys?” Even stopped walking and gently let Isak down from his hold. 

Isak rolled his eyes, “Depends.” he kept his hands on Even’s shoulders despite already being on the ground.

Even placed his hands on his hips and cocked an eyebrow, “I think I’ve fit the requirements before.” He spun Isak around and guided him towards where he wanted him. Even pulled out his phone from his back pocket and turned on the flashlight. 

Isak leaned against Even’s back and waited anxiously. Even teased, not shining the light onto the wall until Isak pleaded enough times.

The white wall was covered in bright paints of nature. Flowers and vines lined the border of the painting to focus on its center. Animals surrounded a lady standing in the middle who looked just as beautiful as the plants around her. The contrast of the new mural to the old wall showed its beauty even more vibrantly. 

Isak blinked with his mouth open in awe. “Even,” he stepped forward and touched a part of the wall. “This is fucking beautiful.” he turned around to look at him.

Even put his hands into his pockets, “Since you’re my little biology major, I thought I could mix the two.” he smiles, “Mother nature in a painting.”

Isak looked over the mural again, “Why would you do it where no one could see? This deserves to be right in the front.”

“So if someone is walking around or people who are standing here like we are right now,” Even raised a hand toward the wall. “They get to see this instead of just a plain dirty white wall.”

Isak was breathless from it. “This is just-” he laughed. “I can’t explain to you how much I love it.”

Even winked, “I try my best.”

“I never see any drawings or anything,” Isak said, still amazed by the painting. “Do you do it and I just can't see?” he raised an eyebrow.

Even smirked and furrowed his brows, “Maybe I have a whole collection of drawings and paintings for you.” his smile widened. “And then I’ll give them all at once - like a gift.”

Isak turns around and wraps his arms tightly around Even. He buries his face into his shoulder and Even does the same. “I hope you take this somewhere,” Isak says. “I want you to be successful in whatever you want because this,” he sighed into the fabric of his jacket. “This just shows you deserve to be happy in everything you do.”

Even pulled back, hands still on Isak’s waist, and he smiled. “I wish the same for you.” he leaned in and kissed Isak softly. “We’re going to become the most successful people ever.”

Isak laughed, “We’ll be good at what we do but I don't think so successful.”

“Think positive!”

“I am!”

Even says he’s lucky almost every minute he can. He reminds Isak how much he loves him with his art and his words and how he holds him and kisses him. Isak melts at the slightest touches and he never finds the words to make up for it. So Isak holds Even just as tight and kisses him the same.

He’s in love. Completely in love in every way. Even says he’s lucky, but Isak knows how lucky he is to have him too.

\-----

“They’re _finally_ letting us in again?” Yousef asked.

“Yes, I’m not kidding.” Isak laughs.

Mikael high fives Adam so hard the sound rings in the house. Even shook his head and sighed. 

Mutta smiled, “This seems like a dream, wow.”

“Then don't fuck it up when we get there,” Elias added.

Sonja, after a long talk with Isak and Even, caved in. Her dislike for the fraternity meant that no one from it could go to her own hosted events. They had gone in the past but she eventually cut them off for an unknown reason to Isak. But with convincing, she gave them one pass.

Isak “I didn't know this was that important.” he shrugged. “I just thought you guys should come.”

Mikael grabbed Isak by his shoulders. He stepped forward, faces to close, and smiled. “And I am thanking you and the entire universe.”

“Well, you better pamper yourself.” Even stood up and slung his arm around Mikael. “She said we could come earlier.” he winked.

Mikael’s smile widened and he clapped Even on the back. He grabbed both Adam and Yousef by the hand and dragged them upstairs. Even laughed in amusement at how obviously desperate Mikael was.

“Are we just gonna watch him mess up the whole night because he has no game?” Mutta asked with a smile.

“Yep.” Elias, Even, and Isak said in unison. 

Even smirked, “But the combination of Mikael _and_ Adam is going to be even better.”

Mutta laughed, “The last time we went to Sonja’s sorority party ended exactly the way this is going to start.” he shook his head with a smile. “We’ll probably get kicked out five minutes in.”

“What happened last time?” Isak asked.

“They tried to hit on one of the girls there,” Even explained. “Both of them at the same time.” Mutta sputtered out a laugh and so did Elias. Even tried to fight back his own laugh. “And they're them so the way they did it we all agreed not to talk about ever again, but, let’s just say it’s why Sonja doesn't invite us anymore.”

Isak raised his eyebrows in amusement. “That’s why? Because Adam and Mikael suck at flirting?”

Even shrugged, “You could put it that way.”

“It’s a good thing she’s finally trusting us now,” Elias said. “But I’ll make sure it stays that way.” he pointed at Even.

Even’s hand went to his chest and he smiled, “I appreciate that.”

Adam jumped down from the third step on the stairs, shoes in hand. Everyone stared at him in confusion and concern. There was a yell, which was figured to be Yousef’s, and Adam sprinted out the door.

“I don’t want to know,” Elias stood up and held his hands up. “Don't want to find out either.” he walked out the front door without looking back.

*

Eva clung to Jonas with all her weight on him. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and she had her eyes closed, face against his collarbone. Jonas tried to walk with her in his arms but it was more of a waddle. Isak walked beside Eva with a cautious hand to her side. As soon as Isak pushed open the back door and Jonas spun her around, Eva was hunched over.

Fortunately, her aim was in their favor. She stayed hunched over the railing to the back porch as she puked onto the grass. Isak and Jonas winced at the sounds and her own groan of agony. Jonas came up behind her and pulled the hair out and away from her face. He rubbed soothingly with his other hand over her back.

“I’ll get some water,” Isak told Jonas. “Just stay here with her.” He rubbed Eva’s back briefly when she heaved once again. Isak frowned and hurried back into the house. 

Isak walked through the crowd, trying to find the kitchen or a cooler nearby. He’d only been to Sonja’s once before and his memory was not in his favor. Isak tried to map out the house from when he walked in his head with high hope. He jolted back when Noora popped up in front of him out of nowhere.

“Have you seen Eva?” Noora asked, voice projecting over the loud noise of the party. “She was with me one second and now she’s gone.”

Isak’s eyes were wide in surprise. “Oh, uh, she’s in the backyard throwing up.” Isak gestured over his shoulder. “Jonas is with her. I’m getting some water for her.”

Noora sighed in relief but rolled her eyes. She slipped past Isak and rushed out towards the back door. Isak blinked and looked back, then turned into the kitchen. He pulled the bottle from the cooler on the floor, shaking off the melted ice. When he looked up he spotted Even across the way. Even and Yousef were leaned up against the wall watching someone in the crowd with amusement.

Isak jumped again when Noora popped up in front of him. “Can you tell me you're coming first or something?” Isak frowned. He handed over the drink to her and wiped his wet hand over his thigh. “How is she?”

“Not throwing up anymore at least.” Noora twisted the cap open with a crack. “She’s just nauseous still.”

Isak relaxed and let out a breath. “You’re taking her back to the dorms right?”

Noora took a small sip then closed the cap back onto the bottle tightly. “Yeah, we’re gonna go right now and Sanas’ going with us too.”

“Good, okay,” Isak smiled, “Thanks for helping her.”

“It’s what you do for best friends.” Noora pointed a finger with a tired smile.

Isak nodded, “Of course - and text me when you get there.” he looked over again to the wall and Yousef was gone, but Even was still there. 

With that Noora hurried back outside to aid Eva. Isak turned the opposite direction and as if on cue, Sana moved past him to grab both of them. Isak moved over to the other side of the room where Even stood. He looked _good_ leaning against the wall, cup hanging lazily in his hand, and his hair was tousled. Isak licked his lips and when he got closer, slipped his hand over Even’s hip to greet him. 

Even didn’t look over, just kept his gaze locked on whatever was in the middle of the room. But he did lift his arm up to drape it across Isak’s shoulders, which was enough for Isak. Isak tried to follow Even’s gaze into the crowd and it wasn't hard to tell who or what he was watching.

Yousef, Elias, and most surprising - Chris, were making fun of Adam together. Their wide opened mouth grins and Adam waving them off with the most annoyed look on his face made Isak laugh. 

“He’s been trying to pick this one girl up for the past six months.” Even shook his head.

Isak frowned, “Why doesn't he just get someone else then?”

“You would think he could catch the hint, but, he won't and never will.”

Even’s jaw seemed to clench every other second, Isak started to notice. He seemed to be a bit more brash than usual, not stopping to think about how his words are gonna affect others. He suspected that could be due to the very, very strong smell of pure booze coming off of Even, but it’s been going on for a little bit now.

Isak rubbed his hand softly up and down Even’s back. He kept his voice calm and as soft as his touch to hide the concern, “You’re being careful, right?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re drinking so,” Isak moved his hand off of Even and pushed his fists into his jacket pockets. “I just want you to be cool.”

Even looked down at Isak briefly with a strained smile. “Well I am.” he said bitterly.

Isak paused, pressing his tongue to his cheek. He eyed Even up and down, “I love you.” he said and left, before Even could even get a word or expression in, to go back outside with Jonas.

\-----

Isak knew that pain is inevitable. It’s something no one ever can avoid physically or mentally. It can be tamed but sometimes it comes on too fast to do so. He could write volumes on pain like this. He knew it almost too well and that wasn’t anything he was proud of. It made the possibility of becoming cynical always around the corner and no matter how much he couldn't put up with it again - he did. Sometimes it’s easier to hear things and take them to your head rather than your heart. 

To get the call from Elias, Isak wanted nothing more than to throw his phone out a window. Running faster than he ever would to the house made his stomach turn to knots and his chest ache with every step. He almost wished he was never told about Even. Just come over the next morning and think he was tired from studying all night. Not hear him yell at him for no reason. Know the smell coming off of him burned Isak’s nostrils. None of the guys got involved. They left the moment Isak walked into the living room.

Isak didn't cry. Not because he was so angry it numbed him, or because he wasn't upset. He was way beyond that. He didn't cry because the disappointment hurt more. He didn't even yell back at Even like he typically would’ve. 

He let Even scream at him about irrelevant things that had nothing to do with him in the first place. Isak wouldn't cry even if Even was sober. He was tired. Almost too tired. He knew this was the person he knew originally and he didn't fear Even; he loathed every single thing about him. But - he couldn't be mad because this was normal. In the back of Isak’s mind, hiding behind all the love and fondness, he almost had a timer for when this exact moment would happen. 

This time, the yelling and foulness stung more. Shifted Isak to almost his breaking point. It wasn’t a typical college guy with an ego bigger than his wallet. This was Even. His Even. The Even who smiled like a kid when Isak complimented his art or took Isak around to go egg houses and hold hands wherever they went. 

That person disappeared and turned into the one Isak met at that party months ago. He noticed the change but to see it come back completely hurt himself and maybe Even did feel hurt too. Isak hated seeing Even in pain. He hated it so much it made him angry. But there wasn't a damn thing he could do about that.

\-----

When Even woke up, he was hit with aching pain. His head and throat hurt. He smelled like sweat and the night before and Even hated the smell himself. The horrible reminder of where he was the night before. Even blinked a few times to adjust to the sunlit room. He rolled over onto his back and Isak was sitting there on the edge. Far away from Even and Even frowned. Having Isak so far away when they were practically glued together bothered him. 

“Morning.” Even croaked, sitting up slowly. “I’m sorry about this.” he gestured to himself.

Isak gave a faux smile, “You’re okay so that’s all that matters.”

Even looked over at the nightstand and opened the lukewarm water. He drank every last drop and Isak watched him closely. Isak opened his mouth but it shut as he couldn't let the words come out. He swallowed hard and when Even leaned back down he spoke. 

“I know you went to a party last night,” Isak said, looking at the comforter. “And I don't care about that, that’s not why I want to talk to you.”

Even rubbed a hand over his face, “Everything hurts right now,” he chuckled. His head hurt like someone punched him repeatedly in one spot. Just opening his eyes hurt to do. “So can we do it fast?” 

Isak’s mouth formed a thin line and Even’s smile dropped. Isak looked up from the bed, “You yelled, you fought, and you got shitfaced.”

Even groaned, “Isak,” Too much was happening for his liking - considering his current state.

“No,” Isak frowned. “Getting that call made me feel like I failed or some shit. You yelled at me like you didn't know who I was and treated everyone else like crap!”

“Why are you blaming yourself? I’m responsible for my own actions and I wasn’t my usual self and you knew that.” 

Isak gaped, “But how am I supposed to just put up with it? That shouldn’t be normal to see. If something was wrong why didn't you tell me?”

Even pinched the bridge of his nose, the headache becoming worse, “It’s not important, okay?”

Some arguments call for yelling to get the point across. This wasn’t one of those arguments. But some part of Isak’s brain completely destroyed his common sense. He knew it wasn't Even’s fault.

“Not important?” Not important.” Isak laughed coldly. “So getting drunk and putting whatever you can into your body isn't important? It’s been a while, Even. How the hell do you know if too much is too much? Then I get the fucking call you passed out or something way worse!” Isak flailed his arms. “I can’t lose you but I can’t trust you either! This happened and I wasn’t _around_. What if you did something so fucking irrational like - like hooking up with someone or some shit!”

Even’s face scrunched up, the accusations tugged at his nerves, “You think I’d cheat on you?” he scoffed, “Just because I’m shitfaced doesn't mean I can't think the slightest common sense.”

“From how you were last night, that’d be hard to believe.”

“You act like what I did or do is so surprising and it’s getting old. Do you not look around at parties? I can guarantee almost half the place is full of assholes and drunk people.”

“This is different!”

“Wasn't at first!” Even shook his head. “You always cared more about what I did rather than your own business. Putting a reputation to my name!”

“Then there must be something going on.” Isak raised his hands and they fell against his thighs.

Even clenched his jaw tightly and rolled his lips in, “There isn’t and if there was it’d have nothing to do with it.”

“It obviously does!” Isak shook his head. “You started to be careful and control what the fuck you put in your body! Then recently you started to lose track of that and lashing out and I need you to talk to me! If you need support you know I'm going to do whatever I can for you because I love you! But you can’t do that to me! You can’t leave me confused!” Isak yelled with his hands turned to his chest.

Even shifted forward, “I don’t like it either! I don’t like seeing you like this, I don’t like seeing myself treat you like garbage, I don’t like feeling like it! I tried _so_ hard to not fall back and I did just that. I tried because it helped the both of us and everyone around me.”

“I know it’s not easy.”

The bitterness in Even’s laugh hit Isak harder than he imagined it could. “I did and do what I do because of the worst possible reasoning. Some people can’t figure out good ways to handle the past and I’m one of those people.” he took a deep breath and shook his head. “There are people who just thrive off of the hurt of others and...” his voice trailed off as he realized where he was going with it.

Isak’s voice was softer, “I don't know anything and I can't act like this is easy for you. I won’t know unless you tell me and,” he sighed, “Fuck, we were good. You were doing so good,” his voice broke towards the end.

“I know,” Even wanted to hold Isak close and act like none of it happened. “I know, baby. I’m sorry.” he bit his lip. “I’m really sorry - that can’t fix anything but I mean it.”

“I can’t be upset at you for something you can't control and you shouldn't apologize.” Isak blinked rapidly. “I seem like a dick now, huh.”

Even shook his head, “It’s okay.” he looked around to avoid Isak’s gaze. “I need you to understand but I don't know how.”

Isak stood there, eyebrows turned up, “Even,” he inhaled through his nose, choosing his words carefully. “When you’re ready,” he finally looked at him. “I’ll be there, I always will be. When you wanna tell me, I’ll listen. Because I would never leave you alone,” Isak chokes out in a whisper. “I can’t do that to you.”

Even bit his lip, “I just need time, okay?” his voice was quiet - almost like a whisper.

Isak nodded and stepped forward till he stood toe to toe with Even. He reached up and placed both hands gently on Even’s face. “Time.” Isak said, looking at him in the eyes. He nodded again, finalizing it.

\-----

Isak opened the door to a smiling Sana on the other side. Her books tightly clutched in her hands to her chest. Everyone else was in class and Isak felt lonely. He didn't want to talk to any of the guys because he knew they knew. And talking to Sonja could mean the same thing. Isak could’ve invited anyone else over, but he liked Sana. Sana was kind. Sana was funny and she would do what she had to do. 

They sat on the floor across from each other. Books in laps, pens in hand and scattered along with other paper along the floor. There wasn't an exam or any reason for Isak to come over and when he originally texted Sana, her suspicion was obvious. So he made up an excuse, lying, saying he didn't understand the assignment given. Even though they both were aware he understood as best as he could. “But sometimes, even the smartest people need help” Isak said and Sana laughed and went along. 

Sana looked up from her book. She spun the pen in her hand while studying Isak instead of her own work. “What happened?” 

“What do you mean?” Isak looked up to meet her gaze. 

“You’re different.” She nodded. “I can tell you’re different.”

Isak put down his pen, almost too aggressively, “Well I’m not.”

“That could've been a positive observation.” Sana glared. She set her books aside and leaned back against the bedpost. “But what you just did makes it negative.” she raised an eyebrow. 

Isak sighed, “Why do you want to know?”

“Because you tell me things even if you don't want to.” Sana leaned forward on her elbows. She looked at Isak in the eyes as she spoke. “Why else would I be here then? You’re bored. You study alone no matter if I offer to help you or not. Every time you come up with a reason to say no.”

The way Sana looked at Isak was like she could somehow break in and see right through. Isak avoided her eyes at all cost. Looking around at the posters or at the door behind her head. He felt uneasy, knowing how this always went. In the past it’d been he complained and she asked but now she was forcing it out. Sana would never push it but Isak’s fear was of not being able to hold back.

Her mouth opened hung open slightly. She pulled back, “It’s Even.” she scoffed a laugh. “Of course it is why wouldn't it be.”

“Don’t blame him.” Isak’s face scrunched up. “Not everything has to do with him.”

Sana sighed, “Isak you weren’t with him once today were you?” when Isak didn't respond she shook her head. “Does anyone else know?”

Isak played with the edge of his notebook, pressing his tongue to his cheek. “I haven’t said anything to anyone, but it’s probably noticeable.” he laughed awkwardly. 

Sana titled her head and smirked, “Isak you’re not at his house _and_ you’re wearing his hoodie.”

“I don’t live there and if I wanna wear his clothes I can.” 

“ _Isak_.” Sana pressed. “You look like you're not in the best place. I know you can come back here from time to time and wear your boyfriend’s clothes, but usually, you look happy about it.” she sighed, “And right now? You don’t.”

Isak rolled his eyes, “How would anyone know that?”

“Friends who pay close attention and care about you would know that.”

Isak looked at Sana. She didn't look concerned or worried, and that’s what he loved. Jonas and Eskild expressed too much on how they felt, right or wrong advice. Magnus joked too much, Mahdi wouldn't ask a lot, Chris cared but he wanted the realism of it. The cold hard reality that hurts to hear. Sana was stern and every word, empathetic or not, had the sense of truth. 

He leaned forward, forehead in his hands. “He fucking relapsed and I feel like I didn't do anything right. I should’ve been there, I shouldn't have yelled at him, I acted like he did something wrong.” Isak let out a shaky breath. “I knew it would happen because it isn't easy to get rid of old habits, but I was supposed to _help_.”

Sana frowned, “Isak, no one can do that. You’re helping him slowly but Even has to do this himself. It’s not easy to do and you can’t get angry over it. It’s not his fault.”

“I was just off it that morning and I was tired and I know, I _know_ it’s not his fault, okay?” Isak let out a quivering breath. “Besides how badly I fucked up by yelling at him - I don't want him to feel the way he does or have to experience that!” Isak rubbed his face roughly and looked up. “I can’t stop myself from feeling bad.”

Sana’s brows furrowed as she thought. She looked over Isak’s face. “What did you or he say?”

“He said he needed time so,” Isak lifted his hands and they slapped against his thighs when they fell back down. “That’s what I’m doing. Giving him the space he needs.”

“How long has it been?”

“Two days - I know pathetic.”

Sana shook her head, “It’s not at all. You were with him all the time and now you’re apart, that’s all. And you’re worried about him and I’m sure he’s worried about you.”

“I just don’t know what to do.”

“Call someone here and there. Ask them how he’s doing and if he wants to talk to you then he will. Don't let this go on longer than it has to, but for now, it’ll be okay.” Sana smiled softly. “It’ll be fine. As I said, talk to someone who knows what’s going on and check up. That way he knows you still love him.”

Isak rolled his eyes, “I don't think he has any doubts with that.”

Sana shrugged, “You never know what he might think.”

Sana picked up her notebook and set it back into her lap. She grabbed her pen and continued writing again.

“Thanks,” Isak said softly, grabbing his own things.

“Anything for you.”


End file.
